how do i get my 5 year old confident

(7 Posts)
SayCheesePlease Mon 17-Mar-14 05:34:49

my dd is shy and i want to build her confidence.
her teacher says shes happy at school, with plenty of friends but when shes at home, i see a quiet girl.
she's scared of having a bath, so any advise to help deal with this fear is welcomed

she's expressed an interest in ballet, so this is an option to get her in a ballet club.

stinkypants Mon 17-Mar-14 06:55:58

Building confidence is a very gradual process. But shy or quiet children don't necessarily have low self esteem. If she is happy and feels there are things she is good at then I wouldn't worry. Ballet is a good idea as it will be another string to her bow.
The bathing - has this always been the case or did something trigger it? Have you tried getting in with her a few times?

PirateJones Mon 17-Mar-14 07:02:03

Which areas do you feels shes lacking confidence in?

What about bathing is she worried about, if it's being sucked down the plug hole or the water in general I agree with stinkypants, have her bath with you until she feels okay in the water.

My children have gained in confidence when they have gone outside their comfort zone and done things they find challenging. This can be done in small increments, it doesn't have to be done all at once.

A sudden increase in imagination is very common at the age of four to five, and this sometimes expresses itself as fear of the dark (or baths).

atthestrokeoftwelve Mon 17-Mar-14 07:12:34

I think dance is a fantastic idea. I had a very shy 5 year old too, and dance really boosted her confidence.

BertieBotts Mon 17-Mar-14 07:20:50

What part of the bath is scary to her? Will she go swimming? Or have showers?

DH always seems to be much more successful than me in getting DS to face his fears, do you have a partner? He seems to succeed in making it fun whereas even if I do the same thing it doesn't help confused My approach tends to be a gently, gently, getting him used to something whereas DH will jump in and be confident and the confidence seems to rub off (again - does not work for me. Perhaps I am secretly not confident!)

Do you have play dates?

Treaclepot Mon 17-Mar-14 07:28:30

My eldest is shy, we do lots of extra activites with him, some where he knows lots of people and some where he doesn't.

We also pratice stuff during the week so he feels he kmow what he is doing.

We find letting him know what is going to happen helps. So tell him where he will be, where we will be (ie sitting watching) what sort of things he will be doing.

Lastly never ever let them hear you say 'she's a bit shy' or 'don't be shy' and if someone says 'oh are they shy' just say no!

If they were shy dont make a big thing of it just give them a minute or tow, or walk over with them.

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