Just had awful awful experience in town and left in tears and really shaken. My just turned three year old has always been prone to the occasional tantrum but it has really escalated. Yesterday, when he refused to move and lay down on pavement, I pretended to walk away as he always follows me (eventually) but I was aware it looked like he was on his own crying and felt uncomfortable with it as people were looking and may not have known I was nearby.
Today was AWFUL. He wanted to go to a pizza restaurant and I said no so he started tantrumming and tantrumming on the pavement. I had already arranged to meet a friend in another cafe but as he was being so awful, told him we would not go there either after he refused to get up off floor.
I had read that rather than try to remove them, it was best to just stand there, be calm and ignore them which I did (despite lots of strange looks) but he just carried on and on so I had to try and carry him as he was in the way of people but with heavy shopping bags and handbag swinging, it was so hard with him fighting- tried to be calm but was so mortified with everyone staring and he kept slipping down, fighting me, (I was hurting him trying to cling on) and running off towards 'cafe'.
I did then lose it and shout at him and threaten him as was so desperate and I am aware I probably did the wrong thing constantly- told him he could not have his new toy (for being good) unless he walked nicely but that just made his legs buckle and tantrum even more.
A friend arrived who he loves and she tried to be stern with him and pick him up which made things worse as he screamed for me but then still would not walk. He only stopped when I threatened to phone the police then called up my partner and said what was happening and as he thought I was talking to the police, he got up, started walking very nicely and apologised! This approach is not the best I know but at that point I was so desperate I didn't care.
Sorry for essay- need a vent. So scared there will be a post about the awful mum on another section on mumsnet!
So what is the best thing to do next time it happens? Being calm and ignoring just prolongs the misery and can't always be done ( eg if I am on way to work and his childminder or he is in way of people and he is liable to fall asleep from tantrum exhaustion)
I am too physically weak and small to just scoop him up over my shoulders if I have bags and he is kicking. Threats make him even angrier.
I have written too much- sorry. Arrrgh!
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Behaviour/development
How to pick up/carry/deal with tantrumming toddler in public?
73 replies
cyberfairy · 07/02/2014 14:09
OP posts:
MiaowTheCat ·
07/02/2014 18:52
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