Potty Training when you work full time?

[GillW]

Has anyone got any good tips for potty training when you are working and don't have more than two consective full days at a time without your child having to go to nursery?

DS is 2.6 and although he will sit on the potty/toilet he has NEVER done anything on it - simply makes a "sssshhhh" noise as if he's weeing, says "finished", grabs a handful of loo roll and flushes it. However - when we put him in pants for evenings and weekends, and he does have enough control to not wet/soil them until he has a nappy back on, even if that is immediately after he's sat on the potty/toilet. Yet he tells us that he wants to wear his pants and not his nappy.

It's almost as if he's ready for it in every way except that he hasn't quite grasped what he's actually supposed to do on the toilet and thinks that with his sound effects he's getting it right. Not quite sure when to proceed from here. Any ideas?

[Azure]

No advice, but am in exactly the same boat. Am interested to hear the replies. Given that we only have the weekend when not at work, DH & I like to go out and do things with DS, and I am loathe to spend the time stuck in the house putting DS on a potty every 15 minutes. Not that that worked when I tried before.

[Crunchie]

I would say he is ready and discuss it with his nursery. Normally they would be willing to aid potty training, and will be able to give you tips. They are going to have to do this with others too, so that would be the first place to start.

Bear in mind my dd had about 10 accidents, no sucess on day 1, one sucess day 2 and day 3 started to get the idea about 50% of the time. You will have a lot of washing, but talk to the nursery and get a plan of action that suits everyone so he gets some kind of stability. Personally I would follow their rules as they have him more than you during the day at the mo.

[iota]

GillW - if he goes to nursery aren't they geared up to deal with it?
With DS1 I had him at home for 1 day, then sent him to nursery (with about 7 changes of clothes)- he was fine - 1 accident.
At my nursery the staff have a room full of 2-3 yr olds to deal with and toilet them all regularly. The kids catch on really fast as they copy what the others are doing. The nursery manager recommended not using nappies or pull ups once you've decided to go for it - just let them wet their clothes and they soon get the idea....buy some washable canvas shoes!

Good luck - I trained ds2 in mid Jan so this is all really fresh in my mind

[iota]

Crunchie - posts crossed same general idea!

[Tetley]

I have to agree with the other replies - my nursery helped out a lot with this - plus the fact that my ds was seeing the other kids in his room using the toilet/potty.

He's only there for 3 days a week, not full-time, but the help I got from the nursery was invaluable. They also judged much better than me when he was ready to be trained, as they had so much experience. Just make sure you pack lots of changes of clothes for him, and expect a big bag of soggy clothes back at the end of the day!

[iota]

Azure - you will have to bite the bullet and accept that outings will be curtailed or very stressful for a peiod of time when potty training starts - they often can't hold it for very long once they have the urge to go, so if a potty/toilet isn't immediately available there will be an accident.
Having said that IME both mine were pretty reliable (but not perfect) after a couple of weeks.

[MeanBean]

My solution to going out was to take two potties with me everywhere we went - needless to say, we didn't go anywhere posh! But DS was dry after a week, so normal outings re-commenced pretty quickly. Mind you, I find outings with toddlers are so stressful anyway, that I didn't really notice much difference.

[Zoe]

Just potty trained my ds - we started it on a weekend, and accepted that we wouldn't be going out much for that weekend, then nursery continued from the Monday - I sent him with five changes of clothes (he used four on the first day!) and continue to send four sets a day - we are on one accident a day now (eight days) which tends to be the poo, which he hasn't quite grasped yet. It was much easier than I thought it would be. We went to a party yesterday with the potty and three changes of clothes and it wasn't too bad at all.

Nursery will be all geared up to help - let them know what you are doing and I'm sure it will be fine.

Good luck

[JanZ]

We're going through the same issue at the moment.

Our childminder had recommended that we leave it until ds decided for himself that he wanted to wear pants - and my best friend had given us similar advice (courtesy of her first, brilliant, nanny). But he's now 3 and a half, so we've decided we need to push the issue, even though he had been showing no awareness of when he was going nor dispcmfort when he was dirty - the sort of signals you would normally look for. Two previous half hearted attempts (at 2.9 and 3 had made no progress whatsoever and if anything had distressed him)

Last weekend was a disaster - not a single pee in the potty (although lots of sitting!) and loads of accidents. He did get one pooh in the potty - which didn't seem to be totally by chance, so we saw that as progress - and were able to reward him with the promised chocolate buttons.

This weekend was much more successful - no accidents at all on Saturday, and 4 pees in the potty - with the amount of notice given by ds increasing to about 30 seconds! Sunday there were a few accidents (mostly poos but some pees) but still some successes - and also some evidence that he was TRYING to hold it in when he got the urge. He's getting inot the "snowmen" rewards (actually, mini M&S cholocate bunnies wrapped in foil, but who am I to argue :;!)

We were so confident after the weekend that yesterday we thought we'd put him in to the child minder in pants, with one change of clothes and say to her that after that to put him into the nappies. However, she has said she doesn't want him in pants until he is trained, so put him straight back into the nappy. I was a wee bit disspointed at the lack of support - but she is so good in every other respect (plus the house next door!). It's not as if we are in that much of a hurry - he only down for pre-school nursery in August. However, she DID change him back into his pants before we picked him up, so we are maximising the time that WE get to encourage him. Last night we had one accident and one success. Interestingly, his overnight nappy was dry - to date it has always been both heavy and very smelly!

We'll just have to see how it goes!

[jmg]

Janz
Time to show your childminder who is in charge I fear!

You are paying her to look after your child and within reason I think it is appropriate for you to ask her to do things the way that you want.

I would go in tomorrow armed with lots of changes of clothes and pants and say you've thought about it overnight and there is no way you want your child put back into nappies. TBH I think all childminders accept this as part of their job, she sounds a bit lazy to me!

Your poor child will never get there if he thinks potty training is just a weekend thing. It is really not fair on him to expect him to get the hang of it in this way!

[JanZ]

She's actually more like a mini nursery - in that there are three of them that run it (herself, her mother and her mother in law), so there are lots of kids. There are many nurseries/preschools that won't accept kids until they are potty trained.

If I did have a deadline, then I WOULD push it (for example, if I'd managed to get him into the nursery pre-school from this January, which is when he was entitled to start his free sessions - but I didn't get my act together in time to get his name down for a place). As it is, although I am mildly disappointed, I am not going to make an issue of it - plus they are the ones that are putting the pants back on him, so we don't have the fight when he gets into the house.

Anyway, it's not me that takes him round to the child mider - it's dh - who didn't push the issue yesterday!

[iota]

Janz - I agree with jmg - putting him in nappies for some of the time will REALLY set him back by confusing the issue.
Give him the best chance of success by going permanently into pants.

[sis]

Would your childminder be happier with those plastic pants with a terry lining. One of the problems we found with nappies is that they are too good at their job so ds never felt uncomfortable when he had done a wee so we got loads of the plastic/towelling pants and that way, even if he had started to wee before we got to the potty, it didn't make such a mess. HTH

[JanZ]

That's an idea Sis. I'll see how it goes this week and maybe look for some of those pants at the weekend.

You never know, he might have cracked it by then, even doing it part time!

[sandyballs]

It must be very confusing for him, in and outs of nappies - I think you just have to go for it and accept the inevitable accidents and mess. It will just prolong it all otherwise.

When I was toilet training my twin DDs I found a wonderful portable potty by Tommee Tippee (Mothercare sell it) - its basically a fold up plastic potty with little nappy bags with a sanitary towel inside so a pooh can be wrapped up in it like a nappy would, then a new bag slipped over it. I found it invaluable with mine - many a time have I sat them on a grass verge on it and it did mean that outings didn't have to be restricted during potty training times.

[alibubbles]

janz, at 3.5 he is physically mature and ready to be trained very quickly. I am a childminder and I have just bought, at my own expense, a dozen terry lined trainer pants to train the not quite 2 year old I look after. John Lewis do them 2 to a pack, £1.75 or babies bloomers do them very cheaply. Your childminder shyould be willing to go along with it at this age, I could understand if he was a lot younger and not ready. Get some trainer pants in and stick to your guns!