Discipline - Sent to bed 2 hours early and with no tea

[youngwidow]

I've just sent my five year old to bed with no tea after misbehaving during her Spanish tuition. (She was brought up bilingual until I moved us to the UK - from Spain - after the death of her Father, so the classes are to not lose her Spanish). She's a good kid, lively but clever and normally pretty good behaviour and she knows she has done wrong. For the last three weeks it has been one (more minor) punishment or another after her tuition. She would not behave like that in school - ever. I have never sent her to bed more than 45 minutes early and always had her tea. Am I wrong to do this? No treats, no tv etc. have not worked.

[ceeveebee]

No tea? That seems very harsh tbh - food shouldn't be used as a punishment or a reward in my opinion.

[youngwidow]

Ok. Maybe I shouldn't have emphasised the no tea - although true. I want her to think about what she's been doing and concentrate her mind to it...?

[Rooners]

Yes you're wrong not to give her anything to eat - sorry. I know it is hard to think how to manage the behaviour...but she is very very small to concentrate like that after a day at school

could she have been hungry in the lesson? Mine get a blood sugar dip after school and at 5 were always knackered too

[Cataline]

Maybe the early to bed but no tea seems a bit harsh!

[youngwidow]

Ok. What would you do?

[TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking]

Sent to bed with no tea?

That is awful op.

Sounds like she is not enjoying the classes for some reason, Have you actually spoke to her and asked her why, rather than punishing her?

[pictish]

What would I do?
I'd feed her.

[TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking]

Ok. What would you do?

Ask her why she is misbehaving and if there is anything going on in tutor time which is making her unhappy there.

[LEMmingaround]

I would find a new tutor, you say she doesn't behave like it at school so there is probably a reason for her not behaving, nothing sinister, just that the tutor isn't engaging her.

Also, rooners is right - she's 5 and shes been at school all day.

To send her to bed with no dinner is a shitty thing to do, poor thing

[youngwidow]

She had a snack straight after school before the lesson. It's not the concentration issue, she is leaving the room with the tutor persistently.

[TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking]

Defiantly NOT send her to bed with nothing to eat.

[youmakemydreams]

I would ask why the Spanish lessons are a particular trigger for bad behaviour. I would wonder if it is, as it seems a connection to her late father a grief trigger. I would try and show some compassion to a very small child that has been through a hour amount of change in her small life.
I certainly would not send her to bed without an evening meal. That alone is downright cruel. I have never ever withheld food as a punishment least of all a meal that is a necessity to well you know live.

[MrsDavidBowie]

Do you not think she might be tired after a day at school, and then to do tuition?

I think YABU.

[LEMmingaround]

How long ago did her father pass away?

[GoodnessIsThatTheTime]

Is this real? If so id think about askIng your school or health visitor if theres any local parenting groups running. There are some really good groups with ideas to manage behaviour and parenting techniques etc.

[youmakemydreams]

• huge change not hour.

[LittleMissGerardButlersMinion]

I don't give mine pudding and they go to bed earlier when they are naughty. That way they are being punished, but if they didnt eat anything before bed they would be even more grumpy in the morning!

[pictish]

Tbh I think tuition taking place after the school day is over, is a lot to ask of a 5 yr old.

[youngwidow]

I have talked to her about it, obviously. She's a very eloquent child. It is hard work for her and sometime she doesn't understand but that gives her no right to disrespect the lady and leave the room like that. The tutor is very good. Brings games, finds out her interests. It is mostly play, just in Spanish.

[Wonger]

She's 5, she's still a baby.. She has been in school earlier and then expected to sit through a Spanish class. Can you not get a class for her at the weekend when she wouldn't be as tired ?

[saintlyjimjams]

What form does the tuition take? Isn't there am fun way to let her keep the language (eg search for Spanish speaking families with kids she can play with). And please feed her.

[fishybits]

Even my parents who were pretty harsh with their "discipline" made sure I had bread and water when I was sent to bed early. No food at all is OTT.