Discipline - Sent to bed 2 hours early and with no tea

(109 Posts)
youngwidow Thu 23-Jan-14 18:15:32

I've just sent my five year old to bed with no tea after misbehaving during her Spanish tuition. (She was brought up bilingual until I moved us to the UK - from Spain - after the death of her Father, so the classes are to not lose her Spanish). She's a good kid, lively but clever and normally pretty good behaviour and she knows she has done wrong. For the last three weeks it has been one (more minor) punishment or another after her tuition. She would not behave like that in school - ever. I have never sent her to bed more than 45 minutes early and always had her tea. Am I wrong to do this? No treats, no tv etc. have not worked.

ceeveebee Thu 23-Jan-14 18:17:34

No tea? That seems very harsh tbh - food shouldn't be used as a punishment or a reward in my opinion.

youngwidow Thu 23-Jan-14 18:19:33

Ok. Maybe I shouldn't have emphasised the no tea - although true. I want her to think about what she's been doing and concentrate her mind to it...?

Rooners Thu 23-Jan-14 18:19:41

Yes you're wrong not to give her anything to eat - sorry. I know it is hard to think how to manage the behaviour...but she is very very small to concentrate like that after a day at school

could she have been hungry in the lesson? Mine get a blood sugar dip after school and at 5 were always knackered too

Cataline Thu 23-Jan-14 18:19:51

Maybe the early to bed but no tea seems a bit harsh!

MaryShelley Thu 23-Jan-14 18:20:39

Seriously?

youngwidow Thu 23-Jan-14 18:21:02

Ok. What would you do?

TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking Thu 23-Jan-14 18:22:56

Sent to bed with no tea? shock

That is awful op.

Sounds like she is not enjoying the classes for some reason, Have you actually spoke to her and asked her why, rather than punishing her?

MaryShelley Thu 23-Jan-14 18:23:49

I would feed her. Defuse the situation. Get her ready for bed and talk about the issue in an age appropriate way tomorrow. Get to the bottom of the problem in a constructive way

pictish Thu 23-Jan-14 18:24:00

What would I do?
I'd feed her.

TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking Thu 23-Jan-14 18:24:06

Ok. What would you do?

Ask her why she is misbehaving and if there is anything going on in tutor time which is making her unhappy there.

LEMmingaround Thu 23-Jan-14 18:24:23

I would find a new tutor, you say she doesn't behave like it at school so there is probably a reason for her not behaving, nothing sinister, just that the tutor isn't engaging her.

Also, rooners is right - she's 5 and shes been at school all day.

To send her to bed with no dinner is a shitty thing to do, poor thing

youngwidow Thu 23-Jan-14 18:24:29

She had a snack straight after school before the lesson. It's not the concentration issue, she is leaving the room with the tutor persistently.

TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking Thu 23-Jan-14 18:24:42

Defiantly NOT send her to bed with nothing to eat.

I would ask why the Spanish lessons are a particular trigger for bad behaviour. I would wonder if it is, as it seems a connection to her late father a grief trigger. I would try and show some compassion to a very small child that has been through a hour amount of change in her small life.
I certainly would not send her to bed without an evening meal. That alone is downright cruel. I have never ever withheld food as a punishment least of all a meal that is a necessity to well you know live.

MrsDavidBowie Thu 23-Jan-14 18:25:12

Do you not think she might be tired after a day at school, and then to do tuition?

I think YABU.

LEMmingaround Thu 23-Jan-14 18:25:44

How long ago did her father pass away?

* huge change not hour.

GoodnessIsThatTheTime Thu 23-Jan-14 18:26:08

Is this real? If so id think about askIng your school or health visitor if theres any local parenting groups running. There are some really good groups with ideas to manage behaviour and parenting techniques etc.

LittleMissGerardButlersMinion Thu 23-Jan-14 18:26:13

I don't give mine pudding and they go to bed earlier when they are naughty. That way they are being punished, but if they didnt eat anything before bed they would be even more grumpy in the morning!

pictish Thu 23-Jan-14 18:26:41

Tbh I think tuition taking place after the school day is over, is a lot to ask of a 5 yr old.

youngwidow Thu 23-Jan-14 18:27:28

I have talked to her about it, obviously. She's a very eloquent child. It is hard work for her and sometime she doesn't understand but that gives her no right to disrespect the lady and leave the room like that. The tutor is very good. Brings games, finds out her interests. It is mostly play, just in Spanish.

Wonger Thu 23-Jan-14 18:27:51

She's 5, she's still a baby.. She has been in school earlier and then expected to sit through a Spanish class. Can you not get a class for her at the weekend when she wouldn't be as tired ?

MaryShelley Thu 23-Jan-14 18:28:04

You are not really interested in suggestions are you? Just defending your stance

What form does the tuition take? Isn't there am fun way to let her keep the language (eg search for Spanish speaking families with kids she can play with). And please feed her.

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