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Behaviour/development

3-yr-old DS doing "long kisses"

9 replies

PiratePanda · 05/01/2014 07:14

I have a dilemma I don't really know how to deal with. Over the Christmas holidays DS3 has picked up, from G-rated movies no less, that princes and princesses do long kisses, and he's started trying to do them too. I think he only does it to me and not his dad, and he doesn't know what he's doing - he just tries to press his mouth close to mine and leave it there for a few seconds - but I am finding it deeply uncomfortable and don't know how to discourage it. Obviously I DO fend him off, but it's quite tricky to do it without him feeling rejected.

I'm most concerned he'll try to do it to the little girls in his class when he goes back to nursery, and that they and the nursery staff might misunderstand.

How should I handle this? On the one hand it's sweet, he does it out of love, and I don't want him to think there's anything wrong with it in the right context (i.e. It's something grownups do). On the other, I don't think it's appropriate behaviour in a 3-year-old.

Help!

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FannyFifer · 05/01/2014 07:18

Think it's pretty normal, both of mine did similar at that age anyway, just seemed to be a phase.

Dd liked to accompany a big kiss with a mmmmmmmmmmmmmwah sound effect.

I wouldn't worry about, enjoy the kisses while you still get them. Grin

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PiratePanda · 05/01/2014 07:25

It's not the same as normal "mwah" kisses, which he does with great enthusiasm. It's resting his lips on mine for a long time, explicitly without the "mwah" (I try to turn each attempt into a normal short kiss and he gets cross with me for doing it wrong.)

Maybe I'm just really uptight about it (I suffered abuse as a child) but I feel very uncomfortable about it when he does it.

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TheGreatHunt · 05/01/2014 07:31

Your history is the reason you feel uncomfortable but it doesn't mean other people will. They'll just see it as a three year old being a bit silly.

I would make a silly noise and say "mwah" really loudly every time he does it. Or tickle him or something just so he is distracted out of it.

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PiratePanda · 05/01/2014 07:39

Tickle distraction sounds like a great idea!

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bulby · 05/01/2014 07:41

My 5 1/2 year old does this. It is perfectly innocent- she is pretending to be the princess. My concern is she'll do it to someone else so we now mildly discourage it, it is quite literally her stood with her mouth (shut) pressed against another shut mouth. It's very sweet if you think about it, please don't worry.

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TheCrumpetQueen · 05/01/2014 07:43

Just explain long kisses are for when you're older ? Or something like that

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FannyFifer · 05/01/2014 07:54

Bulby that's exactly what my two did. OP it's honestly really normal behaviour.
But I agree if it makes you uncomfortable make a silly noise when he does it.

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PiratePanda · 05/01/2014 08:37

Thanks everyone - it's actually reassuring to know other people's DCs do this too.

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matana · 05/01/2014 09:23

Ds is same age and went through a stage of slipping his tongue in which was awful. I don't think he actually knew what he was doing as it accompanied a 'licking' phase. I just withdrew and told him I didn't like it bit I liked his nice kisses (he was doing the same with daddy) and he eventually stopped doing it. He does long kisses and we both go 'mmmmmmmmmm' and a little smacking sound at the end. We call it a smackeroony and it really doesn't bother me.

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