worried about 9yo ds

(6 Posts)
AndTheTrumpetsTheyGo Sat 04-Jan-14 09:44:00

I caught him yesterday simulating humping my cat.

He denied it - even though i seen him!
He was fully clothed and everything. But definitely doing that!

Should i be as concerned as i am?
I know in his school, they all seem to be far more aware than id like.

My son isnt allowed on the internet unsupervised - he never goes on it in fact. Only hix xbox. Where he isnt allowed on any rude games, or anything of that nature.

He also needs to follow age restrictions on movies.

I have also noticed whenever i am bathing my younger two ds. He finds any reason at all to come in and then just blatantly stares. It happens every single time i am bathing them. He will even so much as come in to ask me something plainly stupid. For example today...he asked if he could watch the tele...i had left him watchig tv. He knew he was allowed to watch it. I never say he cannot!
It makes me feel very uncomfortable.

I dont know how to deal with this? Any help and advice would be greatly appreciated.

His father isnt involved and i am a lone parent.
Im not male, so i dont know if this is a normal part of growing and curiosity or not?

He is also often making me question myself. Like denying something he has just done or said, making out im either a liar, or seeing things.

Lastnight he dobe it over a headache.
It is just happening more and more often and i feel at a loss!

Flufflewuffle Sat 04-Jan-14 15:14:19

I have girls and they're younger, so I'm no expert, but it might be that he has a lot of questions/curiosity which is probably fairly normal at this age. Have you spoken to him about sex and what it entails and what all the bits of our bodies actually do and are for?
Maybe encourage him to ask you questions if you'd feel comfortable answering them.
I know it's awkward, but if he doesn't get the answers from you, he'll likely get them somewhere else and who knows if that info will be correct or appropriate?
I'm just of the opinion that having our kids know about this stuff can't be bad...forewarned is forearmed and all that. And at least you know they'll have the right info.
But that's just my 2c...use it, don't use it. smile Good luck!

AndTheTrumpetsTheyGo Sat 04-Jan-14 17:43:51

Thank you smile

I am already open with him and he feels comfortable enough to come to me with questions as he has done in the past.
I have explained all of birds and the bees.
Which i wasnt best pleased about. They seem too young to know!! But they were coming at me with questions from school.

I thought like you mentioned - i would rather give them the info, rather than they finding it out elsewhere.

cory Sun 05-Jan-14 14:35:11

You know, I don't think they are too young to know.

10 is a perfectly normal age for girls to reach puberty; even in my day (40 years ago) 11 was not unusual.

And boys ime often hit pre-puberty around this age: their bodies may not be physically changing but their minds are getting ready for it.

My ds entered a very clear pre-puberty stage around age 9: getting more hormonal, more aware of sexuality and far more emotional. By 12 he had also gone through physical puberty. At 13 he has the shadow of a moustache and is taller than most of the men in his family. His behaviour is also far more adult; it is clear that he is beginning to think of himself more like a man and less like a child.

Your ds will be observing these changes in boys only a couple of years older than himself. It is natural for him to be curious and perhaps a little insecure. Bouts of suddenly wanting reassurance (like the silly question about the TV watching) is as natural and normal as bouts of thinking your parents silly old fogies who don't understand a thing. Be prepared for either and let him try his hand at being alternately grown up and little.

adoptmama Mon 06-Jan-14 09:12:20

double check his xbox is not connecting to internet if you have wifi.

also, although you can control what he sees at home, you cannot unfortunately control what he sees at school if other children are bringing are bringing internet enabled phones to school sad

he probably is getting curious and hormonal and getting to the puberty stage. I would imagine it was more that then anything seriously disturbing. Buy him a good book on bodies, babies and changes and try to keep the communication channels open. At the moment he is still a child and needs the boundaries and safety of childhood. If you are concerned about how he is viewing his younger siblings then make excuses as to why he cant come in to the bathroom when they are undressed. Does he have an uncle you can enrol as surrogate dad to give him someone to talk to?

TheCrumpetQueen Mon 06-Jan-14 09:16:55

It all sounds like normal healthy curiosity as he enters puberty.

I remember sitting and chatting to my sister while she was in the bath/shower but was always looking at her body because I was curious! I think I was around the same age.

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