Self exploration / masturbation

(46 Posts)

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nataliesmile Wed 25-Dec-13 13:59:56

We have just found a video on my step sons blackberry tablet of him masturbating and saying "hello ladies". He appears to be filming himself. He starts at his face and then films his genitals. He is 6 years old. We are obviosuly concerned about this and i wondered if anyone else has experienced this?

We know children do touch themselves as they learn about their bodies but it is the fact he has filmed himself and the languge he uses "hello ladies" "my name is xxx" that we find concerning.

Any advice greatly appreciated xxx

lljkk Wed 25-Dec-13 14:27:33

Sorry, I laughed.
I think I would ask him about why he chose those words, and be a little concerned what he's been exposed to in video format.
What it means that he filmed self kinda of depends how used he is to filming self or others doing other things, already.

goshhhhhh Wed 25-Dec-13 14:38:56

Have you got child settings on his blackberry? I'd be wondering about what he is watching. It is a little odd for a 6 year old. They r curious & we found that my dd had watched some inappropriate material that led us to tighten up the parental controls & did mean we talked to her about it. She was older though. What have you said to him?

scaevola Wed 25-Dec-13 14:46:11

Does he need a phone at all?

If so replace with basic brick.

Have DP talk about rules for Internet access in both households.

It's a side note but it's relevant: a 6 year old does not need a blackberry. I wonder what he's been watching on it that has introduced him to this 'format'?

MostWicked Wed 25-Dec-13 15:17:11

You need to have a serious conversation with him. He has obviously seen something similar so has decided to copy it, without having any real comprehension of what it is. Delete the video and make sure there are no copies. He needs far more supervision when using the tablet.
Masturbation is fine, but filming himself id most definitely not fine, under any circumstances.
You need to discuss this with his mum too. She needs to be aware. No blaming or accusing, but she needs to know.

fusspot66 Wed 25-Dec-13 15:22:06

sorry, no, this is not age appropriate behaviour. this little boy needs help. someone has been taking his innocence. please get him some help via HV, SS or GP.

msmiggins Wed 25-Dec-13 15:23:00

Why the surprise? He is 6 ffs. The issue is that fact that he has a blackberry. I don't think it's a side issue at all- it's the crux of the matter.
Some six year old masturbate, all 6 year olds don't have adult judgement.

Giving him the ability to film himself masturbating is the problem, not the fact that he had actually done it.

PacificDingbat Wed 25-Dec-13 15:24:00

No this is not age-appropriate 'self-exploration'.
He's seen this somewhere would be my concern.
Does he have internet access on the blackberry?

Gawd, I hate the easy access to horrible imaginary angry

PacificDingbat Wed 25-Dec-13 15:24:56

No, of course the masturbation is not the issue.
It's the filming of it and the phrases he uses - he is copying something/someone IMO.

BrianTheMole Wed 25-Dec-13 15:26:40

The phrasing and the filming is concerning. Where do you think this might have come from?

msmiggins Wed 25-Dec-13 15:28:16

Internet access presumably.

BrianTheMole Wed 25-Dec-13 15:44:03

Internet access presumably.

Not necessarily. Its never wise to simply presume in cases like this.

oldbaghere Wed 25-Dec-13 16:01:49

Why on earth does your 6 year old have a blackberry?

BrianTheMole Wed 25-Dec-13 16:17:09

To play games on I would imagine oldbag

oldbaghere Wed 25-Dec-13 16:19:12

Blackberry isn't really the best for games

A six year old does not need a blackberry. I'd venture to suggest in actual fact it's A Very Bad Idea for a six year old to have a mobile phone of any description. I'm looking at the six year old next door out on her bike. No way does she need a mobile phone.

Pointeshoes Wed 25-Dec-13 16:38:03

The op said it was a blackberry tablet not a phone so I'm guessing for playing games on.

Very worrying with what he said. He could of seen something on internet and is copying it or something more sinister is going on.

Yon need to talk to him.

oldbaghere Wed 25-Dec-13 16:40:18

O I misread I thought it was a phone.

Even a tablet. He doesn't need one. He's very young for one.

And the op needs to up the parental settings and start supervising his Internet access

BrianTheMole Wed 25-Dec-13 17:42:39

Well the tablet thing is another debate really. Both my young dc have one and I'm happy with that decision. But I agree she should up the parental settings, if she hasn't already done so. Although she hasn't actually said dss has access to the internet anyway. Everyone is just assuming he has because he has a tablet. But he might not have access.

oldbaghere Wed 25-Dec-13 17:48:33

Well if he didn't have a tablet he wouldn't be filming himself wanking and saying hello ladies, would he?

BrianTheMole Wed 25-Dec-13 18:10:53

Its not the access to using a recording camera thats the problem, the problem is the adult behaviors and where it has been copied from. Which could be inappropriate access to the internet possibly on the tablet, possibly somewhere else or it could be from another person. Both my dc has access to recording equipment, yet they don't film themselves masturbating and using adult language.

GimmeDaBoobehz Wed 25-Dec-13 18:18:58

I'd be worried that he has watched something similar and copied it.

I am pretty tech savvy and only 23 years old but I still don't think a 6 year old should have a tablet. Anyone under 12 I would say shouldn't have their own, though could borrow a parents or older siblings with parental controls for a while.

Ask him about it. They don't tend to lie too much at that age, just don't come across as aggressive or angry about it and he should open up. Say you aren't cross, you just want to know.

gamerchick Wed 25-Dec-13 18:20:55

No its not normal to tape themselves.

All kids like to fiddle because it's nice for them.. They don't connect that feeling with sexual.

You need to ask for help.

BrianTheMole Wed 25-Dec-13 18:23:27

I am pretty tech savvy and only 23 years old but I still don't think a 6 year old should have a tablet

Why shouldn't they have one? Do you have some valid research as to why 12 years should be the magic age? Or its just because you think so?

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