Whingey 6yo boy

(5 Posts)
OneManOneShed Fri 11-Oct-13 21:43:05

Hello all

Time to tap into the wisdom of the collective mind.

DS is just 6, has become the most whingey, whiney little boy if he doesn't get his own way instantly. It's a recent development, getting worse since getting back from hols in August. He used to be fairly happy, ready to have a discussion and suggest a compromise ("I know Dad - I've got a good idea!"), and got over disappointments quickly. Now we seem to have a tantrum every 15 minutes after school and all weekend. He also creates scenes by asking for things when he knows the answer is going to be "no". It is absolutely wearying and spoils any time we spend together. He's also started making threats e.g. "If you don't let me play another game I'll throw this in the bin!"

He has a new baby sister, 8 months old, whom he likes very much, and we've been really careful to give him lots of attention and time. He had a real bromance on holiday with another kid and was very upset when we left, and I wonder whether that has shaken him. He has started year 1 at school and seems to like it, within the normal parameters. Always happy to go there in the mornings as far as I can see.

We are careful to give 5 minute warnings when leaving playgrounds and so on, have done for years. Again this used to work in the past but now we get the tantrum again.

It's incredibly difficult and tiresome and no amount of persuasion, reasoning, discussion, distraction seems to change things, and we end up yelling at him.

Is there anything we can do? Are we doing anything we shouldn't? Has this happened to others? What did you do?

Help, please! I love my little boy but I don't like him much at the moment.

Oscar

ICameOnTheJitney Sat 12-Oct-13 08:57:34

Is it possible there are too many restrictions on him? I only ask this because for a child to tantrum every 15 minutes...asking for things he knows will be refused, seems an excessive amount of things he's not allowed.

justwondering72 Sat 12-Oct-13 17:46:17

No advice but I have one too., just going on six. He's always been fairly highly strung but Lordy, the whining! And yep threats if we don't give him whatever he is whining for.

Watching with interest.

Kiwiinkits Mon 14-Oct-13 15:15:48

There's a tip in the fabulous book How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And Listen So Kids Will Talk. It is to first sympathise with their emotion ("it sounds like you really don't want to leave the park Johnny. It must be hard to leave when you were having so much fun on the swing."). Then, give them their wish in fantasy ("I love the swings too. I wish I could swing to the moon! Shall we race to the car?"). This trick works so well for us it's staggering. If you haven't got the book, get it now. Best child instruction manual ever.

Kiwiinkits Mon 14-Oct-13 15:17:34

Also, find ways to give him responsibility. Works better if your kid is a cooperator. ("Johnny my bag is so heavy. I need a strong boy to carry it for me.")

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