Could 2.5 yo be a bully?

(3 Posts)
Yonionekanobe Fri 11-Oct-13 18:40:44

DD is 2.5 and at nursery four days a week. Over the past weeks she has increasingly upset at drop off. There is a girl in her group who makes a beeline for her every morning and tries to hug her etc. The girl is younger than DD but physically much bigger - there have been a few instances of DD being bitten and whilst I know the testimony of a two year old is not reliable, DD tells me it is 'Ellie' who bit her (obviously the nursery staff don't name the biter).

However, at a recent party of another child, 'Ellie's' father told me that Ellie often cries herself to sleep at night saying 'no, [DD's name]. I was a bit taken aback and didn't really respond, but in reflection I wish I'd said something as he clearly thinks DD is bullying his daughter. I just muttered something about them being only two and moved on. To this point I had thought it was DD who was being pushed around a little.

The nursery have said the two girls are either best of friends or 'enemies'.

As it happens we are removing DD from the nursery in a few weeks time as we are changing our childcare arrangements partly because of DD's recent upset at going in and partly for practical reasons.

I realise these girls are very young and that this is likely to be one of many playground dramas that I will have to deal with over the coming years, but I wanted to know from more experiences parents whether I should have spoken to Ellie's father further to understand his concerns and how I can ensure DD isn't upsetting others?

ExBrightonBell Fri 11-Oct-13 20:44:01

I don't have a child of this age, so I may be talking b*ll*cks here, but I would be very reluctant to label a 2.5 yr old as a "bully". That implies a deliberateness that I don't think a child of that age could have.

If nursery have not said anything to you about your daughter's behaviour then surely she can't be behaving inappropriately towards the other girl? Rather than speak to the other dad, perhaps speak to the nursery and ask them to let you know what their interactions are on a typical day.

I think you missed the opportunity to chat to the other dad at the time he raised it. It could be a bit tricky to chat to him now, unless you know him quite well?

No if course not. You and the other parents plus nursery should give the kids ways of dealing with unwanted attention.
When my ds was at nursery last year, he was hit by another kid who was a "best friend". Nursery worked on it as did we and it was all fine in the end.

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