Starting to think there's something wrong with my aggressive 2yo

(5 Posts)
ThreeGoMad Fri 11-Oct-13 12:56:37

DS is just over two and constantly hits, kicks and pushes other children (and hits and headbuts me). I'm completely at a loss.

It seems to be completely random - sometimes it's obviously a dispute overa toy or something, but sometimes he'll just walk up to another child at toddler group or wherever and hit or shove them. It is absolutely mortifying. I've just had to leavea class early because he kept pushing other children and have spent the whole journey home trying not to cry. I feel like we can't be around other people a all.

It's only children about his age or slightly younger. He loves babies and is really kind to and gentle with them. He also likes his older DD's friends. Power thing maybe?

I've just been googling and the Internet reckons it's normal but talks about frustration and trigger points etc. His speech is pretty good and he generally isn't angry, he just likes to hit. He thinks it's funny. I'm beginning to worry he's actually a sociopath.

I tell him no, I physically remove him, I demonstrate things he can do instead (pat, stroke etc). No effect. Help me.

StrawberryMojito Fri 11-Oct-13 13:07:32

How do you punish him when he does it?

Could you confiscate his favourite toy/give him time out?

When DS went through a stage of randomly pulling my hair really hard, not out of malice but because he thought it was great fun, the only thing that worked was putting him in his bedroom with the gate on and walking off for a couple of minutes. I would then return but would only let him out if he said that he was sorry and wouldn't pull hair anymore. I did that a few times and he doesn't really do it anymore. He may have just grown out it anyway but I felt it helped that he saw consequences to his actions though.

brettgirl2 Sat 12-Oct-13 07:24:36

Nightmare but I'm sure it's only a phase. It's really common at that age I think.

hardboiledpossum Sat 12-Oct-13 09:05:51

I am not really a fan if time outs but I do use for aggressive behaviour. if at a playgroup or out first offence is a timeout, second is straight home.

ThreeGoMad Sat 12-Oct-13 21:47:29

Thanks for the replies.

I'm not really a fan of time outs etc either, for this age anyway. I tell him no firmly and take him away from whatever he was doing and go and sit down and talk, so a timeout from playing if not a timeout from me. I try to give him alternatives, I talk about consequences ("Look, that boy's sad now because you pushed him"). I will start taking it a step further and leaving, though tbh I'm starting to feel like we can't be around other people at all sad

By contrast, we had a really lovely afternoon - met friend and her 2 DC in a more or less deserted park and had a walk and a play. DS was delightful, gentle with both her children, kissed and cuddled them when we left smile

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