How do you deal with a 5 yr old who doesn;t give a toss

[mumofthreebeauties]

My DS doesn;t care about consequences. He's lying in bed now shouting, singing, keeping the other 2 awake. No matter how much I ask/tell him to keep quiet, he just doesn't care.

We can take away toys, stop him riding his bike (which he loves as he's just learnt to ride it without stabilisers), he just doesn;t care.

He winds me up so much (don;t let him see it) but what else can I do?

mo3b (2 at the mo!!)

[charliecat]

Did he eventually fall asleep?

[stitch]

ignore him

[GeorginaA]

ARGH... it's enough to drive you insane, isn't it?

Ds1 can be a bit like this - a lot of it is false bravado though. I've quite often walked out the room making a "well I give up, I've no more time for you" gesture once I've reached the end of my tether and that's when he's crumbled, sobbed and apologised.

A book I've found incredibly helpful for learning to talk to him in ways that's more likely to get his cooperation, though, is \link{http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1853407054/203-6732178-6548734?v=glance&n=266239%5CHow&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21 To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk}. It's a bit overly American in places, but overall it's a fantastic book with lots of strategies and cartoon summaries for when you haven't got much time but want to quickly refresh your memory. I found there were quite a few ways I was probably aggravating the situation and a bit of an eye opener. His behaviour is remarkably improved when I take a deep breath and remember their advice.

Finally, remember the mummy mantra: "it's just a phase and this too shall pass" :)

[charliecat]

My 8 year old dd has a few nights on the trot been humming loudly to keep her sister (5) awake and given that the humming child didnt sleep through the night till she was 5.5 it makes me want to strangle her as she must get a perverse pleasure out of not letting other people sleep....
I have stormed in the room saying sternly What the hell do you think your doing rah rah and the tone of my voice has let her know I mean business.
If she had of continued I would have make her sit on the step at the bottom of the stairs for 5 mins...is she moans/shouts/argues...1 min for every squeak. She knows the score.
however I did think to myself that I might set my alarm clock for some stupid time in the morning and wake her up and keep her awake when she was tired...see how she liked it LOL...I didnt but I thought it

[crazydazy]

My Mum told me when I was 5 and my sister was 1 that when my mum put us to bed, me in the bed at the side of her cot when she went downstairs I would give my little sister a nip so she would cry and we would both get taken downstairs, my mum said I did this for about a week until one night she peeped through a crack in the door and caught me at it!!!

Its really hard to believe of me

[edam]

This isn't particularly helpful, but you've brought back my memories of sharing a room with my sister. She used to shake the bottom bunk to keep me awake and talking to her! I was soooooo glad to move house and get my own room.

[crazydazy]

I know Edam not too good at giving advice most of the time, not sure why it reminded me.

[mumofthreebeauties]

He did eventually fall asleep.

If I ignore him he will still be awake at 10 or half 10 when I go to bed. Then his teacher complains he had a bad day at school.

It may be the heat or the light nights. He was better through the winter.

I have the book how to listen etc. Maybe its time to seek it out again!