Can anyone offer help?
We moved DC to own bed she is 2.4, she was climbing out of cot and we will need cot in 6 months for new dc anyway.
She was an ok sleeper before, usually 8.30 - somewhere between 5.30 and 7, rare to wake us in the night and usually linked to illness or nightmares.
Now she struggles with all of it. We haven't known how to deal with it, so have not been very consistent. She won't stay in the bed, and if she wakes in the night gets straight out to call for us. We have put a stairgate on the door to room, but she just comes to it and cries for us, so I'm not sure what the point of it is.
After 3 weeks of struggling with getting her to go to sleep when we first put her down and her crying for hours or being repeatedly put back to bed and getting out, we have sort of solved this one - I now sit with her in the chair next to her bed and wait for her to go to sleep. This takes 30-45 minutes but is cry-free and pretty easy. I can see I might be able to do gradual withdrawal over time.
But in the night this technique doesn't work, she goes back to sleep very lightly and wakes the moment i try to leave the room, no matter how long I wait. And if I don't sit with her she just cries - I cracked after an hour the other night.
I think she is anxious and maybe scared, not sure what of but she has a long list of things that scare her generally and is prone to nightmares. Somehow losing the security of the cot has made her familiar room very unfamiliar. Btw she has always slept really badly if we've gone away, and this matches that behaviour.
Last night ended up co-sleeping in her big bed, which isn't very comfy for me and in the long run I will have a new DC to look after so that won't work.
Anyone have any good suggestions? Please help! Am exhausted and starting to dread the night time, and the general sadness.
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sleep probs with toddler after moving to big bed (sorry, longish)
upsydaisy33 · 05/08/2013 11:48
Have you considered letting her have a nightlight? DD2 had dreadful night terrors about this age and post those we got her back into her bed and a full night's sleep with a little nightlight (battery) that she chose.
I'd also suggest trying to get her to go to sleep at bedtime without you in the room..the old in out method and re-tucking but not staying permanently so that you can return her in the night and she gets the same routine as at bedtime iyswim
I'm not much help I'm afraid as we're in exactly the same position! Ds is 23mo and suddenly started having major issues at bedtime - so we took the side off his cot to see if this helped. Now we are where you are.
Tried rapid return for one night. 53 returns later (!) dh gave up and we co slept that night. We too have discovered the solution of staying with him until he falls asleep. My technique is to sit with my back to the bed in the gap between the cot end and the bed guard (to stop him climbing out). This also means we are ignoring him and he (touch wood) generally quickly goes to sleep. We do have to wait for him to be properly asleep though, otherwise he just gets out as soon as we leave the room.
We're only one week in, and hoping we can withdraw gradually. Left him to cry one night for 20mins, and that was enough for us (longest we've ever left him to cry) so we won't be CIO.
Same issue with night wakings - he ends up in with us, which is not ideal. My solution for the time being is to buy a superking size bed when we move shortly - at least we'll all have a bit more room 
This is all from a boy who self settled and went down awake from 5mo until 2wks ago... I think the cot bars make them feel a lot more safe than we realise. Still, they have to go at some point!
Will watch with interest.
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