Nearly 3: Potty/toilet training in 2 weeks

[gourd]

We use a childminder so we can only potty train when on annual leave to allow plenty of time to get reasonably dry before going nappy-less at the CMs. We have two weeks holiday (at home) coming up in August and LO will be 3YO mid-Sept. No more leave after August then till end of October and that will only be a week, so think two weeks in August will be a good time to try.

At the weekend daughter wanted to use the potty/toilet and didn?t want a nappy, wanted to wear knickers. Result was on Sat: 4 x wet knickers, 2 x poos in knickers. Not one thing in potty. Each time she seemed to go to the potty AFTER the event. The 2nd poo she seemed aware beforehand and went to potty, but sat down on potty in garden forgetting to take down pants first - there was nothing I could do, it was too late to get her to stand up again to take down pants. It was actually quite funny, but she was trying so hard, so I didn?t laugh as I didn?t want to upset her or put her off trying. I do think taking down pants is yet another thing she has to learn/remember so think bare bottom might be better - but she wanted to wear pants and made a terrible fuss when we suggested she didn't need to..

By Sunday she was not even trying though. She wanted to wear knickers with no nappy, yet didn?t want to go to potty or toilet. She wasn?t worried about wet pants, but did seem quite distressed by the poos in knickers (not surprising really) yet this still didnt seem to make her want to use the potty. It's such a shame, as she was really trying on Saturday, and I was so proud of her for wanting to use the potty/toilet. I am really hoping the trauma of the accidents has not put her off. I'm happy to let her practice again this coming weekend too, if she wants to, but I am really worried that after Sunday's not wanting to use potty/not being bothered about wet pants, it looks like her enthusiasm has already waned.

In the week (until August hols), she has to wear a nappy, as she's at the CMs with two other little ones, a baby and some older kids at the moment too with it being the school holidays. It doesnt help that CM has carpets (we don't have carpets, so it doesnt matter if the floor gets wet/soiled at home)

I am still hoping she will want to try for the full two weeks in August but that's only two weeks away - do you think in two weeks time it will be any different? Was really hoping she would be nappy-less in day-time at least and reasonably consistent going to potty/toilet by 3YO.

[ladypop]

We are currently training our 3.5yr old. Have you actually discussed it with your cm? I only wonder as surely you won't be the first to toilet train one of her little ones that she looks after.
All I can say is keep encouraging her and go for it during those two weeks but take away the expectations you have that it has to all fall into place (she may pick up on your desperation for it to work) and just see what happens.
You can't hurry this and they need to go at their own pace - she certainly won't care you only have 2 weeks to play with, and why should she?
We intentionally left or DS until this age as I just had a baby and didn't want to attempt it just before or after the birth. However, he is moving at quite a good pace with it and I am not sure he would have done so 6 months ago.
This is obvs just our own experience, they are all different aren't they!?
Maybe just go for it and see what happens - good luck xx

[catherine19]

I hav no experience of this but wud pull ups help at cm? Maybe she could prompt to try the potty every so often to back up ure hard work?

[gourd]

We'd still pack some pull-ups or nappies (same thing IMO) for CMs, for trips out etc plus changes of clothes(she already has those anyway as they do water play and she gets messy at mealtimes too) but we wouldnt want her to wear pull ups or nappies at CMs unless they are out and about, if we were trying to get her to use the potty as I doubt she'll notice any difference and will just carry on wetting/not using potty. I think it's best to go for pants/bare bum at home and pants at CMs(except for playgroup etc) once she has started going to potty reasonably consistently at home - CMS will obviusly sit her on potty at regular intervals which may help catch a wee/poo, but really our daughter needs to be able to go by herself when needed at the CMs as CM cannot help undress her in a hurry when she has other small children to look after. We dont expect her to - daughter needs to be able to get to potty and take down pants and use potty by herself really. I cant see how else it can work. We will also do the sitting on potty after meals/before bed and first thing in morning thing too just as CM will do reguar potty visits, but this only catches the odd one. She needs to be starting to go and attempt to use by herself (i.e. aware she needs to go before the event) before she can go nappyless at CMs I think. That's why we thought we'd start her off in the two wees off so more chance of her being able to do it at CMs - it will be harder for her to do there with so much going on. So far she will not wear pull ups anyway. She wants a nappy, or, as at the wekend, pants. She doesn't seem to like change!!

[WhereBeThatBlackbirdTo]

I'm a CM and I seem to constantly have a LO potty training! It's part of my job.

Your CM will probably be more than happy to help with potty training - have you discussed it with her? Whilst it isn't the easiest of things when you've got other LOs around, it isn't insurmountable. We treat using the potty as 'you're teaching the others how it's done, aren't you clever', sort of thing.

I am quite happy to miss a few toddler groups or classes whilst a mindee is still learning.

I think you should stop worrying and talk to your CM.

[WhereBeThatBlackbirdTo]

Sorry, that sounded a bit sharp!

Read it using a West Country burr and it sounds how I meant it

[gourd]

I'm sure CM will support us - although she says she needs pull ups for trips out (but she has a lot of experience and we probably will find we need them too). I think I was just hoping to get LO started on it with no distractions at home for two weeks, before trying it at CMs where she is much more likely to get distracted and have more accidents.

I was just a bit concerned that LO seems bit uncommitted/not bothered about using the potty despite wanting to wear knickers with no nappy- she likes the knickers and keen to wear them, but she didnt seem to link having wet knickers with not having gone to the potty and didnt seem to care when they were wet either, it was quite difficult to persauade her that she ought to put some fresh ones on even when the ones she was wearing were soaked through!

The first day she was really trying and was going to the potty, even if a bit late, but by second day it was like she'd given up trying or just wasnt bothered so I am hoping she gives it a fair go and doesnt want to give up just cos of a few accidents on one day. She hates change though and is generally cautious by nature despite being fairly independent in other things like choosing her own cothes and dressing herself, cleaning her own teeth etc. We've seen it with her balance bike, she tried it once, was going well but when she stopped she sort of fell over sideways as the bike is quite heavy and think she didnt realise she had to hold it up, and she has never tried it again. Sane with speech - she has speech delay too but no obvious reason given everytign els eshe is capable of yet she whispers new words and wont say them aloud. This is what worries me. It semms like cos she didnt get it "right" straight away she gave up. She is a bugger for doing this with lots of things so I suppose I was looking for tips on encouraging her not to give up and to keep trying with it - she's hardly started but seemed to stop trying as soon as she realised that it isn't easy...

[WhereBeThatBlackbirdTo]

Perhaps she's really not ready. They all like the idea of 'big girls pants' but some of them haven't made the connection between potty and puddles.

My most recent potty trained little one resisted two attempts (by mum) over several months. He is a spirited soul, an 'I'LL DO IT' kind of person, likes everything to be on his terms. They left it for quite a while and didn't mention it. When they tried again, he was dry almost immediately - just a few minor accidents because he was busy.

I talk to them about how much quicker it is to wee on the potty than take time away from playing to have a nappy change, how much more comfy it must feel to not have a big nappy on, etc.

However, I would take your time. If your DD isn't ready you can't rush her. Ignore any puddles, praise like mad when it works and if she doesn't want to go any further, take a step back and leave it for a while. When she is ready, she will be dry in days (well, hopefully).

Good luck - potty training generally isn't as daunting as you think. Get the sticker reward chart and treats ready.

Oh - and most of my LOs have regressed about two weeks after mastering the potty, so expect that as well. It only lasts a few days!

[gourd]

Thanks to all for your replies. If she really isn't ready then I guess we'll know after a week if she isnt making any progress. I do hope she is ready though. She went through a phase seeming ready just before she was 2 actually - telling us before she did a wee or poo, but lost interest so that stage has long gone but I find it hard to believe she isnt ready at 3, particularly as she seems to be reasonably aware of her bowel and bladder movements. It doesnt help that she is so much bigger than other kids her age - she looks about 5 and this has been commented on. She wears age 5-6 clothes, 6-7 in some cases and this means she stands out at the park/playgroup etc as being the ONLY child her age and definitely the ONLY one her size wearing a nappy. Even the other children notice this. It also means she is already wearing the biggest nappies Aldi sell and we think their pull ups are actually already too small. We bought a pack last week to try, thinking she might prefer them to nappies (after my sister suggested this) but she doesn't like them at all. It was really hard to persuade her to even try a pair on, and she hated them so only wore one pair - but that might be because they seemed very tight fitting and very difficult to actually pull up over her bottom. I assume this means they are too small, but I dont know how tight they are supposed to be-they aren't suposed to be all that difficut to pull up though, right? I hope other brands make bigger ones, but since she doesnt seem to want to wear the pull-ups anyway we haven't looked for any others as yet. The most convenient supermarket for us is Aldi and they dont sell any bigger sizes. We will need either bigger pull ups or bigger nappies soon though, as I know that she may not be dry at night for another year or so, so we will definitely need to find some bigger nappies, if only for night-time use and stock pile them so we (and CM) dont run out. Anyway we'll be trying with the potty again at the end of this week, so will report back in a few weeks time...

[sarahloula]

Reward charts. I've made my own with a picture of a little toy she can get after 10 successful trips to the potty. Also bought Peppa Pig stickers to put on it which she loves.

[Happypiglet]

Read Gina Fords book on how to potty train In a week.... I don't agree with any of her other stuff but this book is brilliant. If you have two solid weeks at home it can be done with her methods. I used it for all three of mine who were dry in that time frame.
It boils down to her being ready, you being ready and staying at home a lot for first few days....and NOT using pull ups which confuse them... Plus reward charts, praise and no fuss for accidents... Seriously it's a fab structure to use...

[CharlotteBronteSaurus]

we have just potty trained dd2 (2.8) in a week. no accidents since day 3.

whilst this is obviously mostly down to her,i think the two key aspects are:

• going cold turkey. no pull-ups, apart from at bedtime. too confusing for them. obviously this means house arrest (or just visiting very understanding friends) for a few days
  

and
- bribes. Big, delicious, chocolatey rewards for each wee or poo that lands in the potty. you can "run out" of these whenever you feel the positive reinforcement is no longer required.

[maillotjaune]

DS3 was 3.4 before he would even consider it - earlier attempts started by us led to many puddles and soiled clothes.

Then one day he agreed willingly and after 1 day that was a bit hit and miss he was sorted. That was at the start of March and he has had NO 'accidents' since.

Obviously they are all different but try not to get too worried about sorting it in 2 weeks - if ready it may only take 2 days which could be on your holiday or another weekend.

[breatheslowly]

We've just potty trained DD (2.10). We are 2 weeks in and still have the odd accident, but she is pretty good. I agree with CharlotteBronteSaurus - we have gone cold turkey and have chocolate buttons for success. Pampers pull ups are quite good if you want to go down that route, but I don't think they are significantly different to nappies. The thing that has been most successful for us is DD's nursery. She has copied the other children and also they have smaller toilets so she doesn't need much help. She also doesn't really want to use a potty, just the toilet with a toilet seat and step to get up. I think she struggles with potties as they are a bit small as DD is quite big for her age. She has been known to wee over the top of a potty because it was too small. I don't think it is reasonable for your CM to expect you to get your DD trained in your holiday and then have her back - is that really what she expects?

[gourd]

breathslowly - this is the proibken with ours too, as she is so big the potty sticks to her bottom when she stands up unless we hold onto it and kind of pull it off her bottom, so it probably isnt very comfy. It isnt the lowest, as we deliberately got a potty that is a bit higher than some so she isn't struggling to get down onto it, but the actual shape of it is still very small. She cant get on/off toilet by herself though, even using the step. She can get onto the toilet lid without the step by going onto it forwards on her knees and then turning around to sit on it, but obviously when the lid is up and the non-fixed (wobbly) child's seat is placed on top of the ordinary one, she's got to back onto it, so this will make it harder for her to get to the toilet on time. Thought potty would mean she could just go by herself and would be easier for her, and she did actually do this all by herself the first time she told us she wanted to wear knickers and no nappy. This is also why I thought she was ready -we didnt have any say in it, she wanted to do it one day but then wasnt so keen the next which is why I was thinking the initial experience put her off, but maybe I'm reading too much into it and it's just normal toddler fickle behaviour..

[breatheslowly]

DD is able to get on the toilet using a step and toilet seat. We have this seat which isn't wobbly at all and two steps from Ikea - a normal height one and a double height one. She can get on on her own using just the small step, but I do help her quite often. She also uses this potty quite successfully, but she is probably a bit smaller than your DD (mostly in 3-4 clothes, about 98cm tall.

I wouldn't want to use a potty that then got stuck to my arse - it must be a bit uncomfortable.

We tried toilet training about 2 months ago, but it didn't go well, so we stopped and started again and it has been much better this time.

[breatheslowly]

Although as she just demonstrated, she isn't always able to do it and carpet in the downstairs loo was not a great idea (it was here when we arrived).

[gourd]

Thanks - that posh potty does look taller, so easier to sit down on and get up front, but the bowl size looks the same or smaller? Our toilet isnt a normal shape one. It's a very slim toilet and isn't as round as most, it's a bit more square/rectangle with rounded corners. We chose it as it's smaller than usual so fits our miniscule bathroom. Do those trainer seats actually clip/fix to the toilet? It's hard to know if they would work with our toilet, with it not being a standard shape. The trainer seat we were given does not clip on or fix down in any way, it just kind of sits on top of the existing seat but not very well (wobbles) but that is possibly 'cos our toilet seat isnt the usual shape...

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

Get a Baby Born toilet seat. It is ridiculously expensive, but it has adjustable bits which lock it firmly to toilet seat. Sounds like your wee one is way too big for a potty, but a shoogly toilet seat is pretty off putting.

[Maggietess]

Have a look online for a toilet seat that also has a built in kids seat which folds up into the lid when not in use. We got one on recommendation of friend and its fab. You can put the little seat down for the kids then put it up into the lid and lock it for adults.