Ever had your child really praised and been very suspicious of it?/

[drosophila]

DS has been doing tennis at the local courts for about a year. The coach is a proper coach and I understand he doesn't do it fot the money (get's very little if what the parents pay is anything to go by). Anyway a couple of time he has told me how good DS is but yesterday he went up a gear and said he was 'unbelievable' the way he could hit a ball. He went on and on about it and talked about him putting top spin on it etc. He is 6. I normally watch but yesterday I was on a bench basking in the sun nd later when I asked DS had he hit many balls he said no just a couple.

My own assessment of him is that he is pretty good and I was shocked at hw quick he learnt to hit the ball but to me he doesn't seem unusually good. I used to play a lot in my teen and was pretty good but was largely self taught so not sure how good a judge I am.
DP thought the coach was trying it on with me ( I do have my good days) and my suspicious mind wonders if he wants me to book him for extra one on one coaching.

My question is are we parents who don't want to accept praise for our DS or are there people out there who tell us we have stars to get something from us when our kids are pretty ordinary.

[nicnack2]

i would take it as a compliment. If you were goo then there was is a chance that your ds is too. i think yiu have your feet on the ground and would be these pushy parents.. If Ds is enjoying it see how it develops over the next year or so. HTH (I,l keep an eye to for the MN badge on wimbledon

[stoppinattwo]

Im a very suspicious person when it comes to people paying my DC compliments. I think the media has made it this way. If this guy is genuine then great. Let your DS be the judge of how much tennis he wants to play. Just make sure the guy has had all his checks done CRB etc.
Dont mean to worry you but if someone doesnt show an interest without reason, either
your DS has genuinely got potential
he thinks you have got potential
he wants extra money for teaching
or other more nasty reasons

sorry i dont mean to cast doubt on this chap, I am a very suspicious person and could be totally off line as you know him far better than any of us, just giving you my honest opinion

[nicnack2]

you have a point stopinattwo. It is awful these days that we have to think like that.

[edam]

Maybe your ds is really talented and this guy is just trying to tell you that? I'd take it as a huge compliment to ds, personally.

Agree with let your ds decide how much he wants to play.

[dinny]

take it for what it is - praise, imo! and enthusiasm. why send him for coaching if you don't want feedback on how hes doing?

is it at TBC courts?

[drosophila]

No not TBC courts. I took him to tennis cos I used to love it and you think they should do some activity or other. I am a bit like stoppinattwo. I've been thinking about it today and I think it was more the manner he said it in rather than what he said. He was so enthusiastic. Perhaps he thinks I don't appreciate what DS is doing and wanted me to be more encouraging or maybe DS is really as good as he says.

I've asked DP to go along next week for his opinion. I have got the feeling that this coach is very committed and really wants to get to underprivileged kids. Every so often he moans about the LTA and how little they do to promote the game. If you think about it he has access to an untapped resource. Thanks for your thoughts. Funnily enough when DS gets praised by his teacher I am more than happy to think it is genuine probably cos there is no money involved.

[drosophila]

No not TBC courts. I took him to tennis cos I used to love it and you think they should do some activity or other. I am a bit like stoppinattwo. I've been thinking about it today and I think it was more the manner he said it in rather than what he said. He was so enthusiastic. Perhaps he thinks I don't appreciate what DS is doing and wanted me to be more encouraging or maybe DS is really as good as he says.

I've asked DP to go along next week for his opinion. I have got the feeling that this coach is very committed and really wants to get to underprivileged kids. Every so often he moans about the LTA and how little they do to promote the game. If you think about it he has access to an untapped resource. Thanks for your thoughts. Funnily enough when DS gets praised by his teacher I am more than happy to think it is genuine probably cos there is no money involved.

[Piffle]

he would not say it if he did not mean it
My ds went to tennis camp one summer cos her really wanted to do it.
coach told me, hope he's good academically

[florenceuk]

Drosophila, the AELTC runs an initiative for promising kids - it's called the Wimbledon Junior Tennis Initiative, and it covers Wandsworth and Merton. Basically they visit schools, get them to play with a racket and select 6 kids from each school for free coaching every weekend at Wimbledon! If your coach is serious, maybe he could see if they could come and see your DS - you're in Wandsworth aren't you? Or find out if your school is on the list for a visit.

[DominiConnor]

That's just the way games teachers think. They believe that "commitment" and a "positive attitude" is the most important thing in any sport, and this often becomes their natural mode of expression.

Almost no one is good enough at sport to make a living at it. This is fine, just so long as you don't let your kids get sucked in by people who will screw with their education or make their lives a misery.
For every David Beckham, there are quite literally hundreds of kids who dropped out of school to "take the sport seriously" who never aplyed one professional match.

[drosophila]

DC I agree. Funnily enough there are professional sports people in my family. My niece swims for her country and a cousin played professional hurling (bit like hockey) for years and is considered by experts to be the best player ever must do a google and see if it still the case) so I like to think the genetics are there but I honestly don't think he is as good as the coach says. More importantly I don't think I have the energy or money to propel a child through that sort of thing. I see how much effort my brother puts into it and frankly I think it is excessive. I think sport is very important and I want him to be as good as he can be.

With all this football I will have to enroll him in something but I don't like football so I left that for Dad to arrange and he has never go around to it. I feel guilty cos I think it is probably a good thing for boys to do from a social point of view but I really don't like football.

Florenceuk I will defo look into it. The tenns DS goes to is run by Wandsworth.

[peachyClair]

I'm with DC also (thats twice in a week- blimey). Just finished a course at Uni on mentoring, all my course (RE) were really laid back, go with the flow, relax about it.... the sports studies degree were go for it! put your energy in, set new hard targets and actually almost aggressive.

Suggest reality is best met somewhere in the middle, but there you go