HELP - DS starting to bully other kids

[youhauntingme]

My 19 month old son has just started a new creche & I was told by the staff today that he was bullying (pushing & grabbing) the other children for toys.I've seen him do it a few times at playgroup too and when I have intervened it sparks off an almighty scream-fest. He's always been really chilled out & good at sharing, I really don't know what to do, does anyone have any handy hints that work????

[Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads]

They told you he was "bullying" at 19 months???? FGS!!! Utterly ridiculous.

There is nothing you can do about him grabbing at creche-he's too little to understand you talking to him hours after the event. They need to react appropriately with him at creche.

If he does it in front of you, give the toy back to the original and try and distract with another toy. If the other child finishes playing with the toy give it to him saying "john has finished now its your turn".

It'll take him ages to understand, but a consistent approach will work eventually.

[oops]

he's only 19monhs old ffs!
I am really really surprised at the staff that they are saying he is bullying
are they not trained at all?

they should be dealing with it there and helping you- not labelling him

Anyway, children this age do this they just don't understand, if they want something, they just get it...

you have to try to behave like the UN .. if he grabs something from another child, you tell him that is not nice and ask him to give it back. If he doesn't then you tell him that you will take it and give it back-
but you also try to help him out by teaching him to ask othr children and adults for the things he wants, and to take turns.
Just be kind and firm and help him to learn how to behave more sociably.
It will come slowly- my ds1 is nearly 3yrs old and still struggles with this, we all do!

Still shocked at the creche staff tho'.
does he have to go there, isn't there anywhere where the staff seem to understand children a bit better?

[oops]

oh, yes, distract him too with another toy, that helps alot.
and ride the tantrums out- you don't want him to think that a tantrum will get him what he wants.

[Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads]

yes agree about getting both to share, but I only do that with my kids, or with close friends- just in case he's taken the toy off someone with a -well certain type of mother :o i'd rather then play it safe and just take the toy off him until the other child has finished playing.