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Behaviour/development

Too old for toilet assistance

4 replies

neon9 · 27/06/2013 21:43

Help! My 7 year old still asks for help 99% of the time if he's doing a number 2. This usually involves telling him to wipe his bum, sometimes reminding him how, and checking he's clean at the end.
He's only ever been once at school and he made such a fuss that the staff assumed he had a "funny tummy".
Today he needed to go while we were out. He was taking his time and there was a queue behind us. Apparently there was a bit of tissue stuck in his crack and he couldn't work out what to do, so I had to go to his rescue. It was embarrassing especially as he's quite tall for his age.
He starts juniors in the autumn.
We really can't carry on like this but I don't know what to do, his little brother had it sussed by about 3.5.
What can I do?

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NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 27/06/2013 23:27

Buy him some wet wipes for starters and just stop helping! It sounds more like an emotional need than anything. Does he have any other quirks? When he calls you just call back that you're busy and he has to do it himself.

If he continually gets messy but he's not got any special needs or problems actually doing a poo then I would just get tough. If on the other hand he is constipated then I would see the GP.

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DeWe · 28/06/2013 09:27

When one of mine used to ask for help when I thought they were too old, I would go and advise (and check they were clean) but not do anything. They soon were confident enough not to ask for help.

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blueberryupsidedown · 28/06/2013 13:46

I think you need to remind him what to do exactly. How much paper to take. How many times to wipe. How to hold the paper. Some children need a lot more specifics before figuring it out for themselves. Don't do it for him anymore but do show him exactly what to do. And give him three steps to follow with 1) take that much paper and fold it. 2) blabla you get the story... Boys can have very strange minds!

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neon9 · 28/06/2013 17:44

Thank you all for input. DeWe have been advising for what seems like forever! Just want him to stop asking.
Neo he has got a few quirks, but nothing to stop him doing what he needs to do.
Step by step is a good idea Blueberry. Thinking I might even write it down and stick it up in the toilet.
At least that way we won't have to keep repeating ourselves.
And if that doesn't work then back to baby wipes.