Temper tantrums/outbursts with a 6 year old

(9 Posts)
ButterflyWings14 Thu 13-Jun-13 13:17:38

Looking for an advice help from other parents about how to deal with my son's temper tantrums/outbursts. He is 6 years old and is generally a happy and creative boy. This past week has been really hideous with massive temper tantrums and outbursts when things don't go his way. This happens generally with me after school. I use the 'naughty step' with a timer for a time out/calm down technique and stickers for good behaviour but it is more difficult to deal with this behaviour out of the home.
He recently had a massive temper tantrum after a school activity, shouting, screaming and crying because I had said 'no' until I managed to get him in the car and home. This is the third day on the trot of this sort of anger and aggressive outbursts and am looking for some guidance. I really try to keep calm and explain the rules. Can anyone please offer any advice to help us?

CalamityGin Thu 13-Jun-13 14:31:03

What does he say about it? Do you talk about what might be bothering him rather than just saying "this is unacceptable, 5 mins on the naughty step"?

Is something bothering him about school? people not playing with him/teasing, struggling to get to grips with something new they are being taught (maths/reading etc), is he worried about moving up to Y2 - they'll have started talking about it now in class.

I would say talk to him, at first he might say there is nothing bothering him but if you gently persist - maybe through play? - you might get to the bottom of it.

The other biggie is being tired - is he getting to sleep early enough? the long light nights are great for adults but the kids find it really hard to get off to sleep because "it's not night time". Could be that?

Poor you, it's no fun is it?

ButterflyWings14 Thu 13-Jun-13 16:41:04

Thank you so much for your great advice. We do normally have a snuggle at night after stories at night and talk about 'stuff'. I do ask are u worried? what's being going on today? but...last week he kept waking at 5:30/6 all week and maybe this has built up. He's off to bed at 7 but as u say the light evenings make it hard to go to sleep.

You're right there is lots going on and the teacher thing might be a factor for year 2 and he has already said one teacher wonderful and the other one horrible and he doesn't know who is going to have. this is the second year he has a split teacher with one nice and one hard on him and it took him a term to settle in again. maybe this is just how he reacts to an unsettled time. he is mega sensitive to people and routine is important to him so will look at that too.

CalamityGin Thu 13-Jun-13 18:27:08

it could be couldn't it. My dd started worrying about moving from reception to Y1 during the christmas holidays (those kids with older siblings had obviously filled her in on how it all works). The next year she managed to hold off til the Easter holidays smile. It is a big thing to them, they just get used to it and then it's all change isn't it? Children do adapt easily but sometimes the build up to the change can be a worrying time. The early starts are probably not helping things. I'm sure someone will be along shortly to say something about testosterone - doesn't it spike around this age? so that could probably be a factor too.

sad hard on him at 6? boo to that!

ButterflyWings14 Fri 14-Jun-13 12:12:40

Thanks again for all the advice. My husband had a little chat with my son last night and he has got a list of worries to do with school, name calling, year 2 and whether or not he gets the 'nice teacher' and work expectations at school. he is a split year group with older children and has found this up and down all year. Feel so much better with a little plan and putting it all back in perspective again and we both did a thumbs up to each other this morning and no arguments about fiddly socks and pocket toys! Light at the end of the tunnel! I am also having a chat with one of his teachers after school.

CalamityGin Fri 14-Jun-13 15:24:47

Brilliant news!

Rowgtfc72 Fri 14-Jun-13 18:09:04

Was just about to write this post myself! My reasonably easy going dd is an absolute nightmare at the minute. I never even considered it could be going up to year two thats bothering her. Will have a chat with her later.

Wannabuyawatch Sat 15-Jun-13 14:39:43

I have definitely noticed a rise in temper tantrums in my ds(6) too and have read in several places that there is a hormone surge at his age. Does anyone know if this is true? Would explain a lot. My ds is a pretty self-confident settled little boy usually and I find this anger really unsettling.
We talk a lot and he doesn´t seem to have issues at school. He has lots of friends and seems to be happy there and at home. It makes me feel guilty that maybe it is my fault for telling him off and getting a bit shouty sometimes. Always something to feel guilty about!

He really shouts at his little brother and slams a lot of doors. I usually let him calm down on his own which he does pretty quickly, I just really hope this is a phase rather than who he is turning out to be!

Sorry to hijack, Butterfly Wings14, sounds like you did a great job chatting to your ds. Has settled down a bit now?

ButterflyWings14 Mon 17-Jun-13 09:50:41

He has settled down from the massive temper tantrums of last week but I smiled when I read your post. You have just described my son's behaviour. He is generally happy and sociable but there has been a general rise in temper recently (as well as the big blow outs!). I am a working mum and do my best but the guilt factor is always there, esp if i get a bit shouty and stressed on our rush to school. I would be interested to know if this is normal behaviour? Not many people tell you about the tricky bits only how wonderful their child is! My son tends to do the shouting and anger at me mainly. I too am really hoping its just another phase like the 2s and 3s ones!

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