What age do they get sex ed at primary school?

(19 Posts)
shebird Wed 12-Jun-13 21:56:26

DD(9) has been asking some questions about puberty. I have had a basic chat about puberty, body changes etc. but don't feel she is ready for too much in depth about sex just yet. Just wondered if they do this at school maybe year 5 or 6? Also can anyone recommend a book that I could read with her explaining the facts of life but in a appropriate way for a 9 year old.

lastnightidreamt Wed 12-Jun-13 22:02:34

Our school starts in a very gentle way from the beginning (reception) and gradually builds up to the 'full facts' in about year 5.

I think it differs from school to school though - one of my friends' DDs was taught about blow jobs and condoms in year5, plus was shown a DVD of giving birth (shudder).

shebird Wed 12-Jun-13 22:06:04

shock blow jobs and condoms is a bit much in year 5. I hope it is not as full on in our school. I think I'd better start preparing her with the basics before next year.

lastnightidreamt Wed 12-Jun-13 22:11:22

I agree - I think there are some things a teacher really shouldn't have to go through! Let alone the poor kids!

Has your DD not asked where babies come from yet? If she does, I would just be honest at a basic level, and let her ask any questions.

shebird Wed 12-Jun-13 22:22:40

Yes she has asked and I explained it on a basic level in a no big deal kind of way. I think there is some talk going on among themselves at school which has prompted her questions. I've asked her to come to me with anything else rather than relying on playground talk. I just want to get the balance right between her age and appropriate knowledge.

Sam100 Wed 12-Jun-13 22:25:08

Ours have it in year 5 and are shown a bbc video which parents can view first so that they can deal with any questions arising. The video does include a short section on pregnancy which is mostly animated but then cuts to a film of a birth including full shot of baby crowning (2 - 3 seconds) then baby born.

Usborne do a good book called "what's happening to me" which I think was pitched at the right level for 10 to 11 year olds.

JiltedJohnsJulie Thu 13-Jun-13 07:45:55

We've just bought What's happening to me for our DS who is also 9 after having lots of questions recently smile

First started in year 5, got more proper first year of secondary but we did learn about periods in year 6 (10/11) so she's not far away from that. smile

That was 13 years ago though so it could be very different now.

ThreeTomatoes Sat 15-Jun-13 09:25:34

Got dd this book when she was 6 or 7 and used it to help me explain about periods, sex, babies etc.

They only just yesterday (yr 5) had their puberty talk, looks like it was mainly about puberty & menstruation etc, the leaflets she's brought home goes into more detail than what we'd already talked about perhaps, dd said she knew some of it but other bits she didn't know, and when I asked if they'd taught them anything about babies, she said not much, there was apparently a video that they didn't have time to show. hmm to that -not time to show something as important as that?! Maybe they'll revisit it...

In a nutshell, I followed my mum's rule of "If they're old enough to ask the question, they're old enough for the answer." I must admit I put off answering for a while though, but i was open as to why "I need some help explaining this to you, I'll find a book we can read." I am really glad she'd already absorbed it all before the school took it on, I would have thought it's much nicer to learn with your mum, where you can ask questions in a comfortable, safe setting 1:1 and be sure of honest answers. Also you can make sure it's all been understood properly and no gross misunderstandings have occurred!

MadameSin Sat 15-Jun-13 09:40:00

Our school (Surrey) started in year 4 and will continue through the facts from here in. Yr4 was about body changes and 'how' babies are made, all illustrated with cartoon like video. This year (5) they show a real baby being born.

NotWilliamBoyd Sat 15-Jun-13 09:40:42

Y5 is when schools cover the real nuts and bolts of it I think (ha! No pun intended).

Dd's class have just had the puberty session, Dd was fine (came home full of questions about tampons!!) but apparently 2 of the girls were horribly upset by it all and felt ill and had to be taken out, which is unfortunate. There shouldn't have been any surprises for Dd as we have discussed it at home and she has the Usborne book (I think it's pink!).

meditrina Sat 15-Jun-13 09:42:39

If you mean wider SRE, that happened from reception onwards.

The lessons on actual reproduction were in year 6.

And it's all recapped in secondary, where there is far more about contraception, STIs, and more general 'role of sex in relationships' etc. I think these aspects have to be done a bit later on because there's still quite a lot of children who see the ins and outs as rather incomprehensible until they themselves leave the latent period and hit puberty, and at primary you need to at least start the curriculm in the middle ground IYSWIM, only going further if pupils ask. That must make for a difficult balancing act for top primary teachers, as some pupils (mainly girls) will be into puberty, but most are not.

NotWilliamBoyd Sat 15-Jun-13 09:44:00

Yes yes to wanting to avoid gross misunderstandings!

I was told how babies are made by a friend when I was about 7 (my mum never has discussed this with me at all; clearly my 2 Dc were virgin births.........) - my friend got the basics right about what went where, but insisted that this had to take place standing up in a corner of the bathroom, for 24 hours (without moving).

I was very bothered by this - what about going to the loo???? What about anyone else in the house needing the loo (at that point houses with more than 1 loo were unthinkably posh).

ah, happy days.

NotWilliamBoyd Sat 15-Jun-13 09:45:28

Most not into puberty by the end of Y6, really?

A friend's daughter is currently in Y6, there are 12 girls and 8 of them have started their periods - no idea how she knows this, mind you!

TrinityRhino Sat 15-Jun-13 09:46:45

none at our primary which I htought was crazy

dd1 is now going into her second year at secoundary school and has had some very basic period and safe sex talk which she thought was useless

I'm quite frankly, shocked by how little they think they should teach the children

mine already know so I don't mind, I'm quite happy to teach them but there are other parents that are assuming or expecting the school to do it

meditrina Sat 15-Jun-13 09:52:20

Our school is co-ed, and none of the boys (amongst DS's friends, and from what I saw at sports day, in playground etc) we're showing signs of puberty by 11. Some girls had definitely started a growth spurt, but not all.

NandH Sat 15-Jun-13 09:53:49

Not sure I'd want my dd or ds watching a birth video in year 5!!!

ThreeTomatoes Sat 15-Jun-13 11:05:56

2 of the girls were horribly upset by it all and felt ill and had to be taken out, which is unfortunate

Hence my post "I am really glad she'd already absorbed it all before the school took it on..." Those poor girls!

I think I agree about the birth video, I'm not sure I would like to watch one myself let alone dd! (Although I have seen snippets of One Born Every Minute).
dd is aware though that labour & birth is painful and can involve complications, and being in hospital etc etc.

NotWilliamBoyd Sat 15-Jun-13 17:17:25

I also felt sorry for the girls who had to be taken out - the mum of one of them is a friend of mine and had definitely discussed it all with her Dd before, in some detail, so tbh I'm not sure quite why she was so upset by it.

I found out today why Dd was freaked out by the idea of tampons, the nurse had popped one in a glass of water to show how they expand - Dd's mind was totally boggled, as she thought that meant they expand to that size in situ during normal use!!

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