Temper flare-ups in 1yo DD - help please!

(5 Posts)
MolotovCocktail Tue 07-May-13 10:53:51

Hi, my wonderful DD2 has just turned 1yo. For the past couple of weeks, she has exhibited a quick, hot temper over certain situations e.g. If something is taken from her; if she is given something she does not want. She actually lashes out and hits things with her tiny hands.

Usually, she's placid and extremely affectionate. I'm not really used to this, err, rage. DD1 (4.2yo) had her moments, but they weren't as extreme as this. Also, DD2's outbursts are upsetting for DD1 (1 sometimes accidentally gets a whack from 2).

I guess this temper is born from frustration but please advise me how to best let her know that this isn't okay, and how to handle the sibling situation.

TIA.

somanystripes Tue 07-May-13 11:25:55

My 13 month old DD has been doing the same for the last couple of months, I do think it's just a phase as several friends' DDs are doing the same. She objects to any aspect of not getting her own way (e.g. having something taken away, not being allowed to go out of the door, having to leave somewhere before she's ready...). She will throw herself on the floor, bang her head against the wall, hit out at us, fight to get out of my arms etc., all pretty dramatic.

I've found the best thing to do is ignore her as much as possible. I explain in a calm voice that she's fine and she can't always do what she wants to do and then don't intervene, unless I'm really worried she's going to hurt herself of someone else, in which case I take her away from the hazard, put her down again and let her have the tantrum. The crisis is usually over in under a minute and she just forgets whatever the problem is. I was advised not to try to distract her, comfort her or bribe her out of it as she won't learn to cope with the frustrations of life later on. I felt that was sensible advice.

Good luck. You are definitely not the only one!

MolotovCocktail Tue 07-May-13 15:26:03

Thanks stripes that approach is worth continuing with, as it's similar to what I'm already doing smile

Does anyone know how I can help DD1 to cope with DD2's 'angry' moments?

MiaowTheCat Tue 07-May-13 20:17:39

Same phase with my 13 month old... sheer outrage when the world doesn't 100% go the way SHE wants it to at the moment. I figure it's just a crap phase for them - they've just cracked all these abilities which get them mobile and able to explore (well mine's not anywhere near walking yet), but then parents stop them doing it sometimes and they've got little to no language to explain what they're after and it must be pretty shit sometimes to have ambitions that exceed your capabilities.

fififrog Tue 07-May-13 20:58:11

My DD did that, with the whole head-banging thing. I ignored it and told distracting White lies ("oh look there's a dog, oh sorry no it's gone now....") and it only lasted a couple of months. We now have proper terrible twos phases of constant whinge and furious rage, but it is a little less inexplicable and doesn't usually go on for 20 mins with no way of calming her down... Basically, one can reason with her a bit now!

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