angry eight year old

(12 Posts)
swallowthree Sun 05-May-13 09:22:11

Recommendations needed for books my eight year old boy can read to give him some methods of coping with his anger. Yesterday we had a terrible episode where he lost it after losing at football and ended up punching, biting and kicking at me and my husband. I know the theory but its not working. Any suggestions welcome. Any good simple books or resources also welcome. Help.

MogTheForgetfulCat Tue 07-May-13 20:14:07

Sorry, no help but bumping for you as I am at my wits' end with Ds1 (7). He was absolutely lovely, but has been incredibly grumpy, touchy and angry for quite a while now. The bickering with his brother (5) is epic, and really wearing me down hmm. I initially put it down to hormones, but several months - really? Not sure where to go from here and very tired and down about it all.

I bought a book recently from amazon called What to do when you worry too much. Obviously this isn't one for your son but I'm pretty certain there is one in the same series in managing anger. As a book I thought it quite useful as it is aimed at the child, and helps them to manage and understand why they worry/get angry. Might be worth a look.

Jacksterbear Tue 07-May-13 20:54:23

I think the one sebastian is referring to is "what to do when your temper flares". It's a really good series. Also, "the explosive child" is good, aimed at parents not the child though.

Queenofknickers Tue 07-May-13 21:07:56

We have a punchbag in the garden for DSs (age 7 and 9) and in theory they are supposed to take out their aggression on that but they still fight! My two are better when they've had a good long session of sport or a walk (like dogs). My DH is a rugby coach and he gets out the practice tackle bags for DSs (and others if their parents are desperate!) and lets them barge at those for a bit. My DH works with children with anger management issues who have been excluded from schools and rugby really seems to help (I realise the season has just ended) but it seems more disciplined and respectful than football. I think there is a definite surge of testosterone at this age.....

HauntedNow Tue 07-May-13 21:17:38

Hi My son is another one who sometimes retaliates or hits out when he gets frustrated/cross, particularly when he feels slighted - he is a Yr2 and big physically.

This book has been really good http://www.amazon.co.uk/Talk-Work-Out-Learning-Along/dp/1575421763 and there is another in the series called "Cool down and work through anger" which I've just ordered. Good luck I've been on this journey and on the receiving end so can understand what you're going through

HauntedNow Tue 07-May-13 21:24:22

Oops and now with a proper link..... www.amazon.co.uk/Talk-Work-Out-Learning-Along/dp/1575421763

You can link to the anger book further down that same page.

HotheadPaisan Tue 07-May-13 21:26:46

Huebner's 'What to do when your temper flares', perfect for this age, full of practical strategies.

OutofFashion Tue 07-May-13 23:42:11

Hi, a good book is 'volcano in my tummy', great for this age group, think it is still in print. Have to say though that most books focus on anger management BUT i think we need to focus on management of strong feelings in general, like frustration, anxiety, fear, and so on, all of which can often precede anger. Anger is great as it shifts the more unpleasant emotions like anxiety, but we need to understand how to cope with all of our strong feelings not just the biggest, loudest one.
If you find the book, then just switching 'anger' for 'strong feelings' does the job nicely.

Ghanagirl Thu 09-May-13 10:20:15

So glad I found this thread my little boy is six next month and has been having problems controlling his temper, he is apparently fighting with other boys at school at first I really thought it was others as he's generally bit babyish at home quick to tears has a twin sister who can wind him up and he's started hitting her too, he's much bigger than her, have tried getting him to count to three walk away etc, but getting fed up hearing how he's been behaving at school everyday

swallowthree Thu 16-May-13 14:04:32

Thank you so much for these suggestions. I will have a look at the books. I thought we were getting somewhere with him but yesterday he had another flare up because his sister had a biscuit he wanted. Ended up with him punching my husband in the face, throwing boxes of toys down the stairs and biting and tearing at a sheet (better that than me). He has gone from lovely boy who can be a bit stubborn sometimes to a real nightmare but then fine in between. Wondering whether there is something going on at school and he has mentioned a boy hitting him a couple of times this week so going into school to find out what all that is about. There is nothing different at home and we really do try our best for both our children. I liked the comments about football because I have been having similar thoughts about football and footballers being such a bad influence (maybe explaining the biting) but this time can't blame that. Great to have such supportive comments from people on Mumsnet and to know we are not on our own with this.

swallowthree Tue 04-Jun-13 14:41:36

Three weeks on and he has been great. The book When Your Temper Flares was a great help so thank you for that suggestion. Tackled the suspected bullying issue at school and that appears to have been sorted. Hoping that is going to be the end of it. Mysterious creatures, children.

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