13month seems soo unhappy with life(9 Posts)
My lo seems soo upset with life. She is always whining or moaning about sth and can scream at a volume I didn't think possible for a baby!! I can't do anything around house as always shouting and crying for me. Everything is a huge drama and I'm at my wits end. She fights sleep at every nap but I know she needs it. She has been sleep trained since 4 months but still throws a tantrum. I will admit Some days are worse than others but I am slowly going crazy. I don't go to many mums groups etc as try and stick to her routine thinking its what is best for her but I'd really like to get out and socialise but working out the best time to leave house is a hassle. She naps from 9am to 9.45ish and then again at 1pm til 2.15 ish with meal times before hand. Most of the classes I find are morning so we miss out nap.. Should I just go for it ?? Finding this stage particularly hard now even though she has always been a difficult baby. Any books I should be reading??
Go for it. Don't get so het up about routine. I've have seen friends drive themselves crazy with routine. Just go with the flow and get out. If they get tired they will sleep in the buggy. If hungry they can snack. Maybe more stimulation is what baby needs. Me and mine would go crazy in the house all day.
My dd and ds had the same naps but we still made groups. I'd stick them in the buggy or sling and walk there so they'd nap on the way. Then home for lunch, down for nap then out in the afternoon to the park or library or something.
Travel somewhere during the nap, then wait for the group to begin?
Similar situation here! My ds2 is 16 months now and makes every day a long countdown to bedtime! It's horrible to hear the whinging and crying. He spends his days clinging to my leg, I pick him up and he wriggles and whinges to get down and play, I put him down and he's headbutting and clinging again. I try and sit on the floor to engage with him, he crawls away, turns back to look at me and then whinges again! I have the same problem with getting to toddler groups but not so much because of nap times but more because I have an older DS who I have to drop off at school and pick up at 3 so a lot of the groups start at 9 and finish at 11, by the time I've dropped DS1 off, walked (I don't drive) to the toddler group, it's 10am, he's ready for a nap around this time, then have to walk all the way home. Same with afternoon ones, all the ones here are 1-3 but it'd have to give DS2 his lunch there and leave early to get DS1 from school so there'd be hardly any time for any actual playing! DS2 is not good at napping in the pushchair either, will only have half an hour wheras he needs about 2 hours ideally which he gets in his cot. It's very hard work when you are stuck in the house and tied to a grumpy baby all day long so I do sympathise.
If it's any consolation at all, my DS1 was similar at this age too. I didn't really enjoy him at all until he was about 2 but he's 5 now and fabulous!
Same same here, I'm finding DS is fighting naps more than ever as he is starting to transition to one nap, but because he never sleeps long enough, I know one nap isn't enough for him, otherwise he gets so cranky and the sleep debt accumulates until he starts waking again at night from being OT.
So I am mostly battling 2 naps a day but in the weekend I let our family plans take over and if he has one nap only I just try and catch him up,as quick as possible following days. (have to rock him to calm him down first t avoid that horrible long battle)
If she is only having 45mins in am nap is it possible that she is going down too early and this nap time needs to stretch out later now, or even go to one nap? It's such a fine line, I find if DS has STTN, then he needs to go down a bit later in morn to get good nap, if he has woken during night or been OT from day before he normally goes down within 2hours of waking.
I am the same will go to mothers group etc but ONLY after his nap, my mother friends know us now and understand he is not like their babies that eyelids just start drooping and they happily snooze away in broad daylight with people shouting, music blaring etc...DS NEVER does that! Lol
Some of my Inlaws dnt understand this, but to me, my night sleep is so precious after a year of minimal sleep so I will do ANYTHING to preserve it!
I also think they are so frustrated at this stage cos they have cognitive development, leaps and bounds but may not necessarily have body skills to deal with it yet. DS is always whingeing and whining cos heis frustrated with his own limitations. I have noticed he is better this week, new toys from his birthday are keeping his mind satisfied (age appropriate, challenging toys) and he seems to be happier because of his new achievements. For example he has just learnt how to sip from a straw cup he is so happy and proud that he can finally be independent and control his own drinking successfully. (only problems now I can't stop him drinking!!!)
Also listen to them, DS loves to be outside so we spend lots of time outside. I get to hangout y washing while he destroys the garden...
Definitely try going out. My 14mth old is so much happier if we go out first thing. I recently pushed his naps so we could go to more groups and its so worth it even though it means he might only have one nap instead of two in a day. He is so much more whingey if he doesn't get to socialise that I'm happy sacrificing the baby-free time I would get with a second nap. Without the stimulation of going out he's ready to nap by 9:15 - 9:30 but will stretch to 10:30 if we're somewhere exciting. I've taken to rocking up at a toddler group or similar first thing even if I only stay 40 mins. Also means he's not wanting another nap at 1:30 so I can go out in the afternoon too. I was going a bit stir crazy before as he was asleep when most of the morning and afternoon groups were on and he was out of sync with he's peers so it was difficult to meet up with friends etc.
Hallelujah I'm not alone. My soon to be 14 month old DD has also turned into a whining, unhappy crybaby lately and it's driving me potty. I occasionally see glimpses of my previously happy, funny and charming child, but no where near as often as I would like!!
She has a distinct dislike for the word 'no', it's a gamble as to whether she will eat her tea on an evening (although is apparently happy eating for everyone other than myself), and I often think that she just doesn't like me that much!!
I'm lucky that her napping and sleep are as yet unaffected, but by heck, I wasn't expecting terrible 2's for another 10 months!!
Very interesting and helpful solutions , thank you! Interestingly enough, today I had to attend a funeral so my sister helped out at the last minute. She told me my LO was an angel all day and didn't moan once. I am beginning to think that it might also be healthy if we do have done time away from each other every once and a while ! I felt totally different when I got home and was greeted with hugs and kisses . So maybe there is a lesson in that! I need to work out how we can do this but it may not be a bad thing for both of us.
By the way, has anyone any suggestions on what groups are interesting ?? We are familiar with monkey music and toddler sense ( I'm on a waiting list for two mths now but confirmed for new season in sept!!!!!)
Thanks agilain !! Love this website and the forum
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