Was not sure whether to put this in work or childcare instead but starting here.... I am starting to worry about my back to work plans. DD now 4.5 months I start when sheis 6 months. She will go 2 days a week to a childminder & 1.5 days will be with my MIL. Currently she is EBF and is refusing all bottles I try for her. She is also a crap mapper & generally takes 4 1/2 hr naps a day but needs to take them in her sling if at home (she will nap in car or pram if out and about). She also has no routine as did decide to try to start one this week but she then decided to suddenly change her normal wakeful/sleepy times and so my original plan now bears no relationship to current timings. I would not be worried about any of this if the plan was for me to stay home with her for longer but I a, really starting to worry how CM/MIL will manage. Do I need to make some big changes before work starts? Any thoughts on how?
My DD went to nursery/granny at 9 months and I was really worried. She was also a crap napper. Needed cuddling to sleep etc. She was fine, my mum did a lot of pushchair naps and at nursery they just dealt with it. After a couple of months they told me she'd just go off and lie down on a cushion when she was tired - it was like she was a different child there! Wish I hadn't worried so much. Even days when she didn't nap well there she was still fine.
I dropped morning and afternoon BFs and gave her a sippy cup of formula in advance as I didn't want her to feel the withdrawal of bf an nursery were connected. In retrospect I worried a lot about that too... It took her quite a while to get used to the formula by the way, but she didn't seem as distressed about the bf as I'd expected. I know a couple of other mums who didn't worry half as much as me and their kids were fine after a couple of weeks. of course I also know one little girl who was not fine about being left and parents had to rejig their lives to avoid childcare, but that's far from normal
Babies often refuse bottles at first. How long have you been trying bottles? Stick with one bottle type and try varying the temperature of the milk - I have found that some children like it rather hot, whilst others prefer it cold! They are all different, so experiment a bit. Are you able to express enough milk, especially once you are at work, as time goes on she may start to drink a lot. Though over time more solids will get introduced so that may help a bit.
Some childminders will be fine with wearing a sling. If you are not too bothered about where she sleeps, she may nap in various - a cot, carseat, buggy, sling.
She will need to fit with the childminders routine to an extent... such as going on the school run. It's not as though the childminder can leave her at home. So not having a very strict routine is fine, as that routine does not need to be disrupted. Try to have an evening routine with her which fits with the time you would be getting home... so that she then settles for the night.
Thanks for the replies! I have posted in the CM/nanny section. I was using bottles once a week as was advised this was enough to keep her used to them....it wasn't & now have been trying again with a new bottle just this week. She is having none of it but is making some progress with a sippy cup. I plan to BF her morning and night and for her to have formula in the day as I am not very good at expressing much. I have no worries about where she sleeps in the day now or for the future, she just needs to sleep or she goes insane!
BF morning and night sounds like a good plan. To keep your supply going, express at work... donate it to a milk bank perhaps, or just dump it if you don't manage to express much. If you are going to go formula route, or the expressing route, then start doing it now every day... do big BF feeds morning and evening, then offer bottle for one feed. It will get refused, but keep trying. As you are not at work yet, you can offer breast whenever you feel it's necessary to top her up.
When she is in childcare she will have no choice about taking the bottle, so will at first try to starve herself... don't panic, it's normal. Feed well in morning and be prepared to feed immediately on arriving home (or in the car). The bottle strike can last a couple of weeks, but they do drink some. Try milk in the sippy cup... also try water.
May be a while until you get replies over on the childminders/nannies board. It can be quiet at weekends, though it does vary.
Just to say if she seems to be getting the hang of the cup forget the bottle and just go with the cup. If you're feeding outside of working hours and doing formula in the day there shouldn't be any need to express to "keep your milk up" - I did morning and evening only for a further four months after going back to work and then just mornings for another five after that, no issues with dwindling supply. Though of course everyone's different but I was also useless at expressing so never bothered.
It might also be worth asking MIL what she feels she will be able to cope with. Things change very quickly when they're so young, you might find she is suddenly happy to sleep in a cot if you keep trying gently to encourage that.
Thanks everyone I am feeling better already. Am pretending I didn't see the last bit of your 1st post though fifi! Agree she will change lots more again before I am working. Need to talk to MIL about it all as in some ways I am more worried about her than CM. she has been mentioning a few things she thinks the childminder won't cope with but am wondering if this more her!
Ha ha, it is all possible! I convinced my DD to sleep in the cot in the end at about 9 months when I couldn't really rock her anymore (incidentally, I still have to hold her hand at 2yr 1mo for naps though she has been self-settling at bedtime on her own since 6 months!)
As I said my DD goes to nursery which is a little different to childminder - like others have said childminder may have school run etc, but they are professionals and will probably cope fine. I'd think MIL is probably thinking of herself..! FOr what it's worth my DD is apparently always one of the first to settle for nap at nursery and eats all sorts of stuff there that she won't eat at home. With my mum she is more similar to at home, and even probably takes the mickey a bit more as granny is inclined to be indulgent...
Ds goes to a childminder-he's now a year old, he started when he was 10mo. He loves her and has a brilliant time but STILL howls every time I leave him there, and sometimes doesn't eat very well as its a minor act of rebellion! I did do some things to get him ready though: Made sure he'd drink milk from a sippy cup (tommee tippy cheapo ones are the best IMHO) i'll be honest that took quite a while to get him to do! He took a familiar toy to her house and a grobag for nap time He naps beautifully in the cot, in the pushchair or in the car with her, with me he can be a monkey...! Although all food and drink is included I've sent some things I KNOW he likes-eg pots of fruit or jars so she has them in the cupboard if he's being a bit resistant... A routine often comes when they are on solids, that's what happened with ds and it made life a tiny bit more predictable! Good luck, it'll be fine