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Wait for 5 yr old DS to show signs of being dry at night before taking off pull ups or not??(28 Posts)
I know there are tons of threads about this kind of thing so apologies for another but none seem to quite get to the bottom of what I'm wondering ... basically whether to wait for 5.5 year old DS to show any signs of being dry at night before taking off his night-time pull ups. I can't think of the last time he has been at all dry in the morn. I think he's probably been dry (ish) in the morning only a handful of times, ever, in his whole life. But am worried that surely they just get into habits and that if I never try to take his pull up off, how is he ever going to even begin to start to make progress? Or, is it really a case of waiting for a particular hormone to kick in that will enable them to begin to be dry at night?
DD was out of pull ups at night just after her 4th birthday and I can't for the life of me remember how we got her out of them, but I am pretty sure she'd been dry for a bit on and off and we just bit the bullet then and took them off. But it's a different matter with DS. He is also an incredibly deep sleeper and the few times we've taken his pull up off recently (mostly because he's been keen to) he ends up wetting his bed two or three times during the night. He just doesn't wake up to pee ...
Advice much appreciated as I do worry about when on earth we can get these pull ups off him. I don't think any of his peers are in them at night ... (not that these things really get talked about, though, so who knows ...)
Children all vary but most 5.5 year olds would be able to go without a pull up. With dd we used bed mats just in case, but took the pull up off and lifted her at 10/11 pm when I went to bed. For the first few nights she was deeply asleep, but she soon got in the habit of waking and going by herself at that time.
I'd try without pull ups. DS1's were soaking every morning, then when he was 4.5 we ran out one eve, bribed him with something in the morning (I forget what) if he didn't wet the bed, and he didn't. He did then have a few wet beds so we started lifting him when we went to bed (did this for about 2 months), but he got the hang pretty quickly really. I don't think he had any wet beds after the first month or so without pull ups. I'd planned to wait until he became dry to ditch the pull ups, but I think I might have been waiting forever.
You could try it for a week and see how it goes? At a friend's suggestion we made up DS1's bed with a sheet and waterproof sheet, then another sheet and waterproof sheet underneath so that if he had a wet bed during the night all we needed to do was take the top layer off, so all pretty painless.
We kept giving it a try from age 4 ish for a week every 3-4 months. Finally at 6.5 DD1 is reasonably reliably dry. DD on the same basis was dry at 4.5
We also do the layering, so not a massive faff when she did wet
Thanks for thoughts - thewarmestowl yes I do just feel that if I am waiting for him to be dry sometimes I'll be waiting forever ... but equally I just can't see him waking up to pee as he's such a deep sleeper - rewards'll have no effect either I shouldn't imagine as with the best will in the world he just won't wake up; it's out of his control surely? The few times we've taken his pull up he's very rarely even made it till 10 or 11 without wetting the bed, let alone getting through the rest of the night. But perhaps we just need to try it again - layer up the bed to make it as painfree as possible and just see how we get on.
It's just worth leaving it off. Mine is 3.5 he doesn't drink after 7pm, i ask him to go a wee before he goes to bed and MOSTLY it's been successful and his been dry but not every time. Make a huge fuss as well if they are dry in the morning, this seems to be helping with my lo.
I'd give it a try.
I didn't think DD was anywhere night training (very wet nappies in the morning) when she started taking them off by herself after we put her to bed! She's only had one accident in about a year since then.
I don't think she gets up to wee in the night, so perhaps the wet nappies were seeing while she was awake before sleeping or in the morning?
Anyway, I think it's worth a try, no harm done if he's not ready yet you can always go back to nappies.
Your Ds sounds just like mine, and he is 6.5.
He's a really deep sleeper. When we have taken the pull up off, we've found him fast asleep in a wet bed by about 9pm, so not only does he not register that he needs a wee, the sensation of being wet doesn't wake him either.
I don't really see the point in lifting. He can either go all night without a wee or he can't and whether I catch that wee in a pull up or in the loo, he's still not dry at night.
So he's still in pull ups. My HV friends reckons it's fine and more common than you think.
Ds1 had a couple of completely dry nights out of the blue just before his 5th birthday so we excitedly got rid of the pull-ups. He was 6.5 before he was reliably dry at night. That was a long 18 months, wish I'd waited.
He is a deep sleeper too - he didn't wake up when he wet the bed, I'd be up in the night for ds2 and I'd check on him, find him lying there soaking, and snoring!
Ds2 is 5.4 now and wearing pull-ups at night, no sign at all of being dry. He also has diabetes so wees more if his blood sugar is high, and if its low has to drink juice. And wears an insulin pump that shouldn't get wet. Think he is going to be in pull-ups for a good long while yet ...
i think you sould definately stop the pull up. make sure he goes to the loo before bed and wake up him after some hours to take him to the toilet again. children do not like to be wet you may have occasional accident but the longer you leave it the more he would rely on the pull up. does he wet the pull up?
We've just tried again with DS age 6. We lifted him before we went to bed, but he was wet every morning, so we've gone back to pull ups.
DD is 4.5 yrs old and we just got rid of the pull-ups a couple of months ago, as she was getting quite sore from being wet all night.
Its still hit and miss. She wet the bed most nights at first (plastic sheets and loads of washing!) and probably still wets the bed twice a week-ish. She still never wakes up in the night to do a wee, but seems to be able to hold it in most nights. We dont let her have drinks for an hour before bed and make sure she uses the loo right before bedtime.
Worth a try, I think.
Not a huge help here, but I waited until both my DSs were dry (and had been for a while) before I took away pull-ups. Both of them were around the 4.0 mark. I know one of DS1's school friends (5.5ish) is still in pull-ups.
I don't see the point of putting a child in a situation where they will wet the bed when they can't help it. If you think your DS is 'lazily' wee-ing in the pull-up (i.e. he wakes up, can't be bothered to get up and wees in his pull-up instead), that's one thing, but if he's wee-ing when he's fast asleep, I don't think removing the pull up will help. I think Jojay speaks sense here.
If I were you, I'd contact the enuresis (sp?) charity and discuss with them, rather than forcing your DS into a potentially bad situation.
My ds is 7.6 and has always wet the bed so wore pull ups we ran out of them 2 weeks ago so thought we would try again and hes been dry since so now hes obviously ready to not wear them. I dont see the point in pushing dcs to be dry at night before there bodys are ready it just causes upset all around.
I would say worth a try but don't make a big deal of it.
We have tried on and off
for ever with DS (7.5) and he is still in pull-ups. Once he was about 6 we let him decide whether to wear them or not. Often he is dry in them for 3 nights, takes them off for a night or two and is wet so he decides to put them back on. He definitely has the bladder capacity now and we have talked about getting a bit of help to get him to wake up when he wees - an alarm or whatever is the method of choice now! He is quite interested in this now whereas he wasn't 6 mths ago. I'm sure he will get there but just to let you know 5.5 isn't the latest and I doubt he is the only one.
FWIW DD was dry at night by 3 but had been much harder to get dry in the day. DS was dry in the day by 2.5 and did it overnight!
Jojay yes my DS does sound like yours - he just sleeps so deeply and doesn't wake up to wee -he's certainly not weeing in his pull up when he's awake. The few times we have tried to take it off he's been soaking by 10pm mostly, and if he's got past then (when we've lifted him to wee) then he's wet again around 3 or 4. His pull ups are pretty wet each morning although a bit less so if we lift him. He's not at all bothered by any of it I might add - he's not upset by still wearing them - though I am half waiting for him to decide that they are babyish and he doesn't want them any more.
Another one here. Dd1 is 5.3 and soaking wet in the mornings. She also doesn't wake up and has wet the bed and not woken on the couple of occasions we've forgotten the pull up.
I would just leave it on until he is dry. Ds3 (6.9) wears one at night. He is only wet now about once a week and I'm sure he won't need it for much longer but I think the less fuss the better.
Nighttime dryness is a hormonal change that happens by itself, at an age when the brain is ready.
The best thing is to wait until dry for a week of nights. Then do the training, toilet last thing before bed, no big drinks before bed etc.
They really can't help not being dry at night until they are ready!
OP read the Eric website www.eric.org.uk
DD is 6 this week. Very heavy sleeper. Dry daytime age 2 so early by modern standards. Never not once dry overnight. Like others she would just sleep on in a wet bed.
We followed Eric advice to the letter, kept a diary of fluid in and fluid out, and then insisted on a referall to consultant. He prescribed Desmopressin. She is now dry at night and can't wait for a sleepover.
There is a family history for us which may have swayed doctors referring as in the most part, they won't refer until age 7. And you have reminded me to update my Desmopressin thread!
Minimaxkids thanks v much for Eric website info, very interesting and useful and will look through carefully ...
Ds 6 was dry for 2 weeks before starting school age 4. Then was wet every night. Age 6 and 2 months, he just started having dry night pants every night and he now wears nothing. The health visitor and school nurse told us not to worry and she was right. They do seem to do it in their own time.
Really really best to wait until they are dry. Peeing in your sleep isn't a 'habit', by and large, it's just something they do when they're little.
And I say that as someone whose children were dry at night by 3.5. Not through 'trying', just because that's when they were hormonally ready.
I would leave it for a while. DS2 has only recently been dry consistently and he is 7.5 . He hated pull ups from about the age of 5 .5 and we did a lot of faffing and lifting and bed mats. We were referred by the GP only when he was 7 and by then was a bit better. If your DC doesn't mind the pull ups then let it be for now . I wish I had kept going with them as it would have saved on a lot of washing. They get there in their own time.
Leave until the pull ups are dry.
ds is 6.5 and saw a paediatrician for something unrelated and the paed was completely unconcerned that he wets the bed. I wish now we had never taken him out of pull ups.
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