I had a similar problem my son wouldn't wee outside but i ended keeping him back from nursery for about a week going out everyday and getting him to wee in a bottle and then showed him me tipping it down the toilet and saying thats where it goes and asking if he wants to try next time and asking if hes going to be a big boy etc i think i would hold off getting him to poo in the toilet until you have sorted out weeing but if he does go behind the sofa and curtains, get him to help you clean it up (not the disinfecting part) and say this belongs in the toilet doesn't it? and if he says yes then say well done and ask if hes going to be a big boy and go to the toilet next time etc. good luck.
I just remembered I saw an episode of supernanny and she said to put them on the loo and read them a story when he needs to go. The idea is that you distract them and create a nice association. No idea if it works, I never tried it.
I didn't let her poo in a nappy as she was dry otherwise and I didn't want her to regress to weeing in them. He can't hold poi in forever, so make sure it's as easy to go as possible with high fibre intake and lots and lots of fluids. Good luck I hope you have some success soon.
Thank you NumTumMum. Good idea about the potty, I'll take it tmw and see how it goes. Ds's poohing issue has gone on a while. Similarly linked to bout of constipation I think. Just not improving at all. Did u put your dd in a nappy to pooh during that time? My instinct says not to do that as it'll cause further issues! He gets himself in such a state, holding a pooh for over a day - I'm worried it'll make poohing an even bigger issue!
I had some similar problems with dd. She refused to poo. In her case it was because she had constipation a few times and it had hurt her. She was therefore convinced it would hurt every time she went. It was basically psychological and it eventually passed. I just made sure that she was never constipated and had high fibre food and praised her whenever she did a poo and did a sticker chart. I tried hard not to go on at her when she refused (initially I would make her stay on the loo longer but realised this was counter productive pretty quickly). Eventually she seemed to get it, but it took a while.
As for nursery, could you take in his own potty for him to use?
It will get better. But I remember my own tears of frustration and I sympathise.
Ds is 2.10 and we have been toilet training for 5 days. Seems to be going ok with a wee at home but have hit 2 issues -
1) he's always been a hiding pooher (behind the sofa, curtains etc) but WILL NOT poo in the toilet or potty. He's getting himself in such a state! Just holding it in, saying not in pants. He only poos every 3 or 4 days and I don't want him to get into a habit of holding it in. Do I put him in a nappy to poo and work on that once we've conquered weeing?
2) having a wee in the toilet at home has been fine for past 4 days. However, ds went to nursery today and I now have 4 sets of wet washing. He had one wee in the toilet at nursery and when I picked him up I asked him why he didn't wee on the toilet at nursery. His reply was "I'll have a wee in my toilet". I really don't want him to become a child who won't use a toilet elsewhere!! How do I overcome this?
I'll be grateful for any advice please. It's getting a little traumatic at certain times!!!!