I've got 25-month old twins (b/g) and my H recently walked out so I'm managing them alone (though he will stay a strong part of their lives). Being toddlers, they are adamant about how and when they want to do a lot of things, and as I work 4 days a week a lot of my interactions with them in the week are very task-orientated and completed with time pressure. Getting up and going to bed, dressing/undressing, washing, nappies, putting on coats etc.
Part of what worries me most about being a single parent is enforcing discipline because I feel very wishy washy about what my ground rules are.
I find myself phrasing everything as (e.g.) "Shall we change your nappy?" to which the obvious reply is "No!" and they clearly think it's great fun. So each request is repeated maybe a dozen times per child, and because there are two of them I find I constantly change tack and rather than focusing just on getting one ready in sequence I am switching back and forth between A and B if A refuses.
So I know I'm being played by them and not being very efficient. Please help me set some ground rules - what are your non-negotiables, and how many times do you ask something (or do you actually just tell them rather than asking?) before you treat it as time to get tough?
Also when out and about - things like holding my hand, not wandering on ahead etc so they stay safe - this is not only tricky with two to watch but also liable to lead to histrionics if I insist on something. I guess I worry too much about tears/acting up to be really disciplined even on something as important as safety. Can you help me with some strategies please?
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Behaviour/development
I'm too soft... What are your basic ground rules for behaviour?
5 replies
Cerubina · 31/03/2013 11:58
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