Wise people, please offer your opinions on 10mo behaviour(20 Posts)
O wise ones, please offer your opinions, as I'm a first time mum, and continue to be sadly clueless.
DS is now 10 months; I've posted previously on his demon-child ways concerning food refusals, but I feel I've been sticking my head in the sand.
He's, to be blunt, a total pain in the arse. I love him, oh how I love him, I would cheerfully crawl with open festering sores across acid-covered broken glass for him, but he is just such hard work . He screeches and squeals (o, the squealing ) and cries, as I'd imagine a toddler would.
And I problem solve: is it that you're hungry? Nope, just fed.
Is it that you're tired? Nope, just had a big sleep.
Is it that you've got a shitty bum? Nope.
Is it that you're constipated? Nope.
Is it that you're bored? Nope, don't think so, out for walks, play on floor, carry in sling.
Is it one of those 'wonder weeks'? Nope, as it's constant.
Is it an intolerance? Nope, not manifesting any other symptoms.
TBH he's been like this since he was 7 1/2 months. I've been to the GP et al for check ups and the suchlike, and all is fine and dandy.
He's kind of crawling, in that he's 'inch-worming' across the floor, or rolling, so he can more or less get to things. He's not standing / pulling himself up / cruising. He's cut a tooth, but whilst he was doing so, behaviour didn't change, even when I gave him analgesics. He doesn't sleep through the night, another issue, but not new.
And so we get to the heart of the issue....is this normal behaviour for one so young? Am I tenderly nurturing a child with behavioural problems, or is he simply being a 10mo?
I worry, you see. When I was 5 months pregnant (and this is a thread for a whole other section) 'D'H decided to tell me that he was totally freaked out by the baby coming, that he felt rudderless and directionless, and that he didn't think we had a future together. Without dwelling on it, I did what it would appear a lot of poleaxed women do, and run around, trying to make things right, appearing strong and supportive of this 'crisis' on the surface, but completely and utterly falling apart behind the scenes. I cried every day, so unhappy and stressed and worried. And therefore I'm paranoid that I have caused this in my DS.
Cn you offer your experience and opinions? Am I being stupid and stressing un-necessarily over completely appropriate behaviour in a small baby, or do you think he is manifesting the beginnings of behavioural issues?
You're not being stupid but I don't see how you could have caused this behaviour. It sounds very difficult but also quite normal. Your DS may be frustrated because he can't get around and can't communicate. The world is fascinating and a bit scary and he is just starting to work out he is not at the centre of it! I would talk to your HV or GP just in case. Some babies are like that but it will almost certainly get a lot easier when he is a little bit bigger. Don't compare your boy to other babies - that way madness lies!
This is typically quite a frustrating age for them, and usually gets better once they can crawl/walk. And some babies are just grouchier than others. Sounds fairly normal to me I'm afraid.
Basically your baby is... Being a baby. Sounds normal to me - mine is a constant source of
delight whining / wanting to be held / screaming. I believe this too shall pass.
Nowt to do with your pregnancy
Both of mine were nightmares at that age. They wanted to move around properly and were cranky as fuck till they worked out how to.
Stop worrying about it, it's not your fault. Just get on with helping him to learn, for both your sakes!
Yep, totally normal for a 10 mo. I remember thinking that things should be getting better by now, so why was my ds still such a pain in the bum??!! I think it's the movement frustration thingy. I resorted to waterproofing ds and letting him crawl in the park, mud, water, sand, whatever. Once he walked he was soooo much happier! I actually let him crawl on a quiet pavement on the way to our park
He was so desperate for independence. And to be brutally honest, things didn't get really really get better until talking started (at 20mo mor or less). It's frustrating to be a baby.
Are you and H together? It's very tricky when you have other issues going on.
My ds has been the devil incarnate since 6 months, he is now 1. He is like a bad boyfriend I have to keep making excuses for. Screams when caged in highchair, car seat, cot. He is dairy free as I thought it could be a tummy issue but things not getting any better! I swear he is just bloody bad tempered. Like you say I love him to DEATH but he is torture!!!! You are not alone. Good luck (to us allllllllll. Siiiiggghhhhhhh) xxxx
I bought this, I'm no too far throughout it is reassuring to know other people have brought up marry buggers. Also ask about what you and dh were like as babies. Apparently both of us were intolerable. Karma.
Thanks everyone, always comforting to hear that things sound 'normal' & that I'm not alone....it feels that way sometimes but as I keep observing on MN - this shall pass?
I am still with H, yes. It's funny really (in a not really that funny at all kind of way, meh) in that it only started getting 'better' when I stopped giving a shit about him. H, that is. Too fucking tired .
Oh, and yeah. As a baby, I was apparently a total bastard. But a lovely toddler. Hope springs.....
um all sounds totally normal to me. just doing what babies do. prob some separation anxiety in there too.
It shall pass, and then you may find yourself wanting another one, and trying to remember the horror and thinking 'but this time it'll be different! I'll know! I'll be prepared! And then doubting your sanity...
Glad you are with H, it's that extra bit easier.
I also was bad, although my patents aren't sure it ever changed
I think once his mobility improves like up cruising around or crawling faster on all fours he may be easier to manage, they can get really frustrated and it can make them irritable. Don't worry about behavioural problems he's only 10 months and nothing you said sounds out of the ordinary, it can be a hard stage though. Hopefully once the weather improves and he is running around, it may be a bit easier - you will have more options for keeping him busy, anyway cos you can take him out more places and let him run around and that can make a difference to both your moods
My previously wonderfully sunny natured 11 month old is doing this at the moment - it's like dealing with a very very grouchy toddler and it's sooooo wearing!
I'd agree that it all sounds pretty normal.
My ds1 didn't start crawling til 10 months. He was an exhausting baby (as was ds2) but it does pass.
I think they also pick up our panic etc a lot
like dogs so if you're stressing and panicking about what might be causing his upset, he is likely to feed off of that.
As much as I think the whole process of illumination is good when trying to figure out why he is distressed, sometimes all that checking in a short space of time can be further distressing.
A gentle hug and rock, maybe a song or soothing story, whatever it takes to calm your inner self and relax and he might relax a bit too.
Maybe try some toys very close to him so it's not hard work to get to them and everything else completely out of sight and try not to overwhelm him too much.
This will pass and soon.
What am I trying to say?
Sounds normal to me. DD1 was a very, very clingy, unsettled baby and I worried that stress in pregnancy had caused it (my DM had a stroke when I was 5 mths pregnant and it was pretty awful for a couple of months.)
Needn't have worried, she's a wonderful, thriving 7yo now.
This will pass I'm sure
Again, hugely comforting to know it isn't just me / us / him.
Just sitting here now
rocking whilst I silently and fervently implore him waiting for him to go to sleep for his nap. He is a total crabmeister today, felt very sorry for myself last night and was a bit 'ffs, here we go again' this morning, but he's come down with a cough and snot-pedos exploding from his nose so might join the 'worst parenting fail' thread.
Yep, totally normal. My dd cried until she could walk. I was watching a video the other day of when she was just working out how to crawl and was having a good whinge and I thought 'oh no, why am I filming and not rushing to comfort her?!' And then I remembered that she did that all the time and that I'd probably just tuned it out by that point
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