Sudden onset of separation anxiety at 3 1/2

[hannahsaunt]

Ds2 (3 1/2) goes to kindy three days a week from approx 0845 to 1600. He has been there since last Sept (though Sept - Dec he just did one half day a week) and absolutely loves it. He loves his main teacher person and happily chats away about the other children, what they do etc. Gets excited when he spots it from the car if we happen to drive past.

All until yesterday. I had a phone call at 1000h from Jill saying that he was inconsolable, had been since I had left and maybe I should collect him. I didn't get the message until 1130 (was at a work meeting though not clear why they didn't try my mobile) by which time he had settled and I said that I would pick him up as soon as his nap was finished (he sleeps there but not at home). He was fine when I collected him and we played in the park, he ate dinner twice, had a good night's sleep and ran around like a mad thing this morning following a good breakfast (so he's not sick). Happy to be in kindy until I had to leave to get ds1 to school. Popped in again 15mins later after dropping ds1 and he was still sobbing. Jill arrived as I did and he went to her and settled reasonably so I decided not to disturb him. Called kindy just now (1030) and she said that he took a bit to calm down but had become interested when they started finger painting just after I left the second time (he didn't see me the second time) and seemed fine.

So he's not sick, there hasn't been an incident at home or kindy that anyone can think of, how can we help him run in without a backward glance again???

[hannahsaunt]

What are you doing up at this time??? At least I have a reason . Hope everything is ok.

He knows that we're going back but I don't think he (or ds1) have any real idea of what's involved. There is an underlying stress associated with moving on my part but I'm not so bad (yet) I think that it should be rubbing off on him. Could be though...

[threebob]

He's picking up on your stress and it may be better if Jill and you both talk to him about it (sorry I don't know what's involved) but he's maybe got confused about the going away part.

[hannahsaunt]

Hi threebob - you may well be right (dear help him though because it's only going to get more stressful!). We're moving back to the UK from Oz in 9 weeks time. Between now and then I need to get my research project completed (hence the kindy days), get the house emptied and everything sold, sell the car, deal with all the usual things associated with moving and get us back to the UK in one piece ready to start work on 1 August...

He was 2 1/2 when we moved and I'm guessing has few, if any, memories of 'home'. I didn't think that it would be that big a deal for him to go back in that I'm not sure he understands the concept of leaving here but maybe I'm not giving him enough credit...

(Jill is his kindy person)

[threebob]

My ds is 3.5 and would have an idea of what moving to England was, he also overhears things but because he doesn't understand all of the conversation jumps to the wrong conclusions.

[tassis]

so sorry to hear he was upset though today sounds a lot better and great that he likes Jill. She sounds sensible.

he could easily be picking up on your stress, who knows?

hope tomorrow's better again.

WW posts/emails in the middle of the night so we all get excited that she's in early labour. it's an attention thing. best not to give her any...

[tassis]

sorry WW

[hannahsaunt]

WW - I was but I was hiding as I still had 200 words to write before doing other things

He was better yesterday inasmuch as he only cried for 25 mins and seemed better again today when I left but don't know yet what happened. I'm just trying to make sure that he feels as secure as possible.