6 month old hates me

(64 Posts)
joanna1985 Wed 27-Mar-13 20:45:47

Im a first time mum and My 6 month old is teething and crys with me like he crys with no one else. When its just us two in the house unless i entertain him all of the time he gets irritable then he wont let me put him down. Wants to be held all the time and screams when i put him down. It's making me think i don't give him enough good attention but sometimes i just want to have a minute to read a paper or make a cup of tea. Does that make me a crap mummy? Honestly? Then when i bring him to my mums hes all smiles and laughs and she says i dont know how lucky i am to have a good baby. Today he screamed cos i put him in the pram and walked for 20 mons. I couldnt lift him out cos it was snowing and he got in such a state and was sobbing, my mum was so shocked said dont let him cry like that. Its making me think he must just hate me sad

mummy2lola Sat 30-Mar-13 15:27:07

Know ow you feel. My dd (5mo) is teething and has become clingy for me, as well as grumpy, but smiley for others- makes me feel exactly like you described. X

JiltedJohnsJulie Sat 30-Mar-13 14:35:09

That's such good news. The discomfort must have affected his behaviour, perhaps a lesson learned for next time? smile

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Sat 30-Mar-13 10:21:40

Glad he's feeling happier!

joanna1985 Sat 30-Mar-13 09:00:59

Los 1st two teeth have appeared think that must have been making him worse! He seems in much better form

Iggly Fri 29-Mar-13 11:36:10

Agree Yellow. Not sure why you wouldn't give a 6 month old baby a cuddle on the premise that they're manipulating you into doing so.

When do babies get a sense of "self"? I thought that came at 9 months +?

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Thu 28-Mar-13 23:17:10

I read the article but I still do not understand how it is relevant to a 6mo baby with toothache.

CognitiveOverload Thu 28-Mar-13 23:01:21

Yes. But you have to be a member to access them. Here is a free resource. Dont shoot the messenger. Its accepted knowledge. http://synapse.org.au/get-the-facts/abc-approach-to-behaviour-fact-sheet.aspx

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Thu 28-Mar-13 22:56:10

But presumably you mean the articles that inform your psychological work?

CognitiveOverload Thu 28-Mar-13 22:48:30

Or you could just Google? Its not a new fangled thing. Been around for a while and like I said its evidence based and therefore used widely by professionals.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Thu 28-Mar-13 22:20:04

I am open minded, would happily read more, as you have stated there is loads of research surely you could just share it?

CognitiveOverload Thu 28-Mar-13 21:17:11

Nothing like a bit of open mindedness. I pointed you in the direction. If you are not interested, just say so. Don't try to put the blame on me. I'm sure you are capable or research. smile oh mn is full of enlightenment.

Iggly Thu 28-Mar-13 19:15:05

There's a surprise Yellow grin maybe they were using reverse physicology tactics on newborns or summat.

Glad you're feeling better OP. you really need to get out of the house when you've got a baby!!!! Otherwise you go md.

joanna1985 Thu 28-Mar-13 17:52:48

So my mum took him last night and he was out and about all day today and hes loads better and i feel better to. Think i needed a wee break tbh. Being cooped up in the house together this week with the snow has probably bothered him as much as me! Thanks for all your replies. much appreciated smile

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Thu 28-Mar-13 15:51:55

Iggly - yes, I was hoping to be enlightened but the poster who knows all about this behavioural stuff doesn't want to elaborate.

BlissfullyIgnorant Thu 28-Mar-13 14:34:30

(((((You poor thing)))))

Try singing to him - something with the same rhythm as a heartbeat. He won't care if its out of tune, but he will like your voice.

Iggly Thu 28-Mar-13 14:29:21

Behavioural pyschology for 6 month old babies confused

Babies main way of communicating is by crying. So you respond by comforting. You don't think "oh that baby is trying to trick me into picking him/her up so I'll teach them" hmm

Or maybe you do.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Wed 27-Mar-13 22:48:45

Thanks for the tips.

CognitiveOverload Wed 27-Mar-13 22:40:47

I would love to spend time doing your research for you so that you can tell me its a load of rubbish...smile. What you choose research and believe is up to you. I'm only here to give OP support. There's a lot of literature on learned behaviour. Antecedent, behaviour and consequence. ..abc of behaviour may get you started. Used routinely in schools, prisons, hospitals and with children who have SEN. Appears to apply at quite a basic level, even with animals. Its how our nervous systems have adapted to environmental stimuli. Again though, ultimately up to you what you believe.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Wed 27-Mar-13 22:28:09

Would you be kind enough to post the links since you know this stuff?

CognitiveOverload Wed 27-Mar-13 22:26:08

Do some reseach. Behavioural psychology.

mummybare Wed 27-Mar-13 22:24:41

You could try going down to baby's level and comforting/playing without picking him up to see if that helps him feel more comfortable and maybe realise that he can feel good and have your attention even when he's not being carried. I think this may have had a similar effect on DD when I had a bad shoulder and just couldn't physically carry her around all day. Might be worth a try? (If he's teething and in pain, he will probably only settle for a cuddle, but if he carries on crying to be picked up and nothing seems to be wrong, perhaps...)

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Wed 27-Mar-13 22:21:34

What evidence?

CognitiveOverload Wed 27-Mar-13 22:19:52

Its not easy... first child is always trial and error. But dont listen too much to us lot. Do what works for you both.

joanna1985 Wed 27-Mar-13 22:17:09

Yeah maybe.

i dunno this is my first baby.. I just want him to stop crying at me and being nice to everyone else lol

CognitiveOverload Wed 27-Mar-13 22:17:08

Its evidence based.

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