My little boy is 3 weeks - should I be doing more?

[Newmumsuchfun]

Hi all

My bundle of joy is 3 weeks old. I have been busy recovering from C Section, breast feeding him and snuggling him. He mainly eats, poos and sleeps.

So - should I be doing more at this stage re: development?
Should I be doing this 'tummy time' thing I have heard of yet? Reading to him? Etc...

I have ordered a play gym mat - anything else I should be doing?

Thank you in advance.

[Bunbaker]

No. Three weeks is way too early. At that age all they do is wee, poo, feed, sleep and cry. Put your feet up and recover.

[Bumpsadaisie]

Bless you! Concentrate on recovering from the recent (lovely) bomb that has gone off in your life and don't need to think about any of this stuff till he is at least 3 months or so.

And even then all he will really need is cuddles, perhaps a bit of time playing with you. Perhaps tummy time too (tho mine both hated it and we never did it, they still crawled just like all the other kids out there).

Its really 6 months plus when they start to benefit from more stimulation etc. You will know when, because your baby will be interacting with you and it will be obvious.

[MakesCakesWhenStressed]

Cuddle him and do as little as possible. I wish I had

If you're worried about tummy time then get a good quality sling, either a stretchy wrap or something like an Ergo, then you get cuddles that also count towards tummy time! Win win

[LadyWidmerpool]

Tummy time, yes, just pop him on his tum for three seconds or however long it takes for him to start roaring! No need to worry re stimulating development yet, he is taking it all in and his little brain is working madly already, even if he doesn't seem to be doing much. Just enjoy the lovely cuddly closeness. That's what he wants and needs most of all just now.

[TheThickPlottens]

Nursing and looking after yourself and your new baby is all you have to do. Everything else will come with time.

Do things that you enjoy. If you want to read to him, then do. He'll just want to be close to you and feed for comfort and hunger.

He mainly eats, poos and sleeps. Yep, sounds like mine too. Got a bit of a smile by 2 months. I didn't bother with tummy time with dd2 and she developed the same as dd1. Playmat is fun. I can't remember when I put them down on the ground. Probably around the 6 week mark or after.

Congrats.

[DoIgetastickerforthat]

Sing, stroke, nuzzle and sniff him. Babies that age don't need much else by way of stimulation. From about 3 months he'll start 'playing' a bit more but until then just enjoy the tiny baby snuggles.

[MakesCakesWhenStressed]

Ps, tummy time is important because it helps then develop head/neck control and lessens the chance they'll get a flat head from bring lain down all the time in a bed or a bouncy chair, so cuddles actually count

[Newmumsuchfun]

thank you everyone - i shall relax a little then. know it sounds silly - but sometimes worry he's bored! but i am sure he's having a grand old time.

[LeonardoAcropolis]

You will know when your lovely DS needs more interaction - I remember DS1 was 3 weeks when he started to use good eye-contact with me and tried to smile. He won't be interested in toys/playgyms for a while longer, just enjoy snuggling with him

[blueberryupsidedown]

I'd say fresh air - I know the weather is terrible but it's important for babies (and for parents) to go out in the fresh air every day! Either in a slink or pushchair, probably in a pushchair if you are recovering from c sec.

Some babies are happy to look at black and white images, such as these books or other images: <a class="break-all" href="//www.amazon.co.uk/Faces-Babys-Very-First-Book/dp/0333994175/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1363781766&sr=8-2&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">//www.amazon.co.uk/Faces-Babys-Very-First-Book/dp/0333994175/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1363781766&sr=8-2&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

[flossy101]

Don't worry he's so tiny! If you want to do tummy time I used to just pop mine tummy done on my chest to snuggle.

I had a c section too and DS was about 10 weeks before I felt ready to go to any baby groups etc. just a walk round the block when your feeling up to it for a bit of fresh air.

[HappyJoyful]

I had c-section and 'overdid' it and cut re-opened.. it's major surgery so do take time to heal and in hindsight it was sort of perfect to lie on sofa and snuggle up with baby and feed on demand etc. We didn't get stressed and generally she's now 2 and always been good sleeper and generally happy contented little thing.. no idea if my hibernation played a part, but it meant we both got rest etc as is needed.
I did go a bit stir crazy - maybe it's you and not him that's bored ? and in the last few weeks set about organising a big party for the 6 weeks mark when I knew I could drive again! It gave me something to focus on..

[MortifiedAdams]

He is fine, and totally happy to go along with whatever you need at the moment whether thats snuggling in bed, out for fresh air or just chilling on the couch. They dont even know they're born yet.

[minimuffin]

Oooh no - he is doing is all he needs to do. Just enjoy him! If he is your first, this is time you won't ever get back. If/when you have any more children then at 3 weeks old they will be dragged along to playgroups/music groups/on school or nursery run along with your little boy. So just snuggle up with him, gaze at him, call your friends, take him out in the pram and walk in the park, treat yourself to coffee, cake and a magazine. All these things you won't be able to do as easily in 6 months time. I so wish I'd spent less of the first 6 months of DS1's life feeling anxious, as if I should have been doing more with him, and worrying about what my NCT mates were doing, and more time just relaxing, treating myself and enjoying him. I did drink him in and loved it, but I felt as if I was being lazy too. 7 years on I know the guilt trip was completely unnecessary - you will be run off your feet and he will be tested/challenged/occupied for the next 18 years at least! Just step off the merry go round for a few months and enjoy it.

All he needs is you and to adjust slowly to being in the world, and if you feel well and happy just to hang out with him then it will be a lovely golden bubble of time that you'll always be so glad you had

[TerrariaMum]

Agree with everyone else. He is doing everything he needs to and so are you. I read somewhere that they call this period of time the 'fourth trimester' so he will still want to be as close to you as possible.

And he will let you know when he is ready for anything else. Babies are not shy about telling you what they need. Just enjoy the snuggles and recover yourself.

[xyla]

oh you are all making me want a snuggly little baby again! I can hardly manage DS though.
why is there no icon?

[tazmo]

No enjoy and sleep when baby sleeps. Take the 6 weeks to recover and then start thinking about all that!

[Newmumsuchfun]

minimuffin - what a lovely post. making me well up. and thanks to every1 else. yes he is my first and i dont think its a case of me being bored - its more probably a feeling of guilt that i appear not to be doing much. although breastfeeding is particularly difficult! and draining. and he stares at me sometimes and i feel i should b 'entertaining him'.

[duchesse]

More than lying in bed with your baby, sleeping, getting up only to pee or change his nappy? No! You are recovering from major surgery.

You can sign to him, read to him from whatever you're reading at the moment, tell him stories and nursery rhymes, do this little piggy, walk him around the house telling him what everything is called, wandering up to the shops if you want to and feel up to it. All he needs at this point is you, close by. You're doing a brilliant job.

[Newmumsuchfun]

thanks duchesse. i hope i am

[minimuffin]

Now I'm feeling broody too! But it's never like the first time again, because you are making that huge transition yourself to being a mum and you have no other distractions. You need to give yourself a lot of time and space for breastfeeding if it's difficult. It can seem like there's so much pressure from to be up, out and back to normal (like you can even remember what normal feels like 7 weeks after your first baby!). If that's what some people need to feel sane, then fine, but you have quite enough on your plate already.

I remember reading somewhere (might have been in the otherwise dodgy Eat Pray Love now I think of it) that in Bali babies' feet don't touch the ground until they're 6 months old, when they have a special ceremony for it. They are considered half human half angel until then - or something like that, i.e. not quite earthly beings - and are just carried everywhere, close to their parents until they're ready to be on the earth. I love that idea!

Right, must step away from the baby threads - 3 is quite enough!

[Newmumsuchfun]

Brilliant. Love that book. Not the awful film.
Thanks for lovely posts.

[BertieBotts]

Upright cuddles or lying with him on your chest count as tummy time! :) So does sling time. Any position which allows him to practise holding his own head up for a few seconds, basically.

But, nothing is important at 3 weeks apart from nappies, feeding as much as you can, and grabbing sleep when you can

[fostermumtomany]

aw when he stares at you, he is getting to know you!
babies love nothing more than to sit and stare at special people. the little one i am currently fostering is now 5 months, and at 3 weeks all he did was eat, sleep, poo, wee and scream lol. by 2 months he was a bit more active but not much, we just added puking to the list!

by 3 months your little man will be smiling, you might get a laugh and he will be stronger physically. tummy time is not important as long as you make sure he isn't always on his back laying flat. sit him up on your knee, hold him belly to belly.

talk to him, I whitter to my foster babies constantly, they love hearing your voice and it doesn't matter what you talk about, it could be the weather, or whats happening on Jeremy kyle or that you're just putting the washing on, whatever, the topic doesn't matter, its the tone you use. plus it will make him a good talker!

I have fostered lots of babies and raised my own kids too, the best advice I can give you is trust your gut. if it feels right, then your doing right and don't let anybody else tell you any different.
seems to me you are doing a fab job, now feet up, rest and heal. take this time to enjoy your baby because in 10 minutes, he will be 18 years old and borrowing your car lol xxxxxxx

p.s have you got a copy of birth to five? if not let me know and I will put a link on to the online version. it gives loads of advice plus it has a chart that gives a hint to when babies usually do things developmentally speaking.

[MakesCakesWhenStressed]

Oh yes, Wonder Weeks is a great resource book, too. Kept me sane when we hit developmental leaps! I highly recommend looking out for a copy.