2 yr old DD genital play

(12 Posts)
philosikos Mon 18-Mar-13 22:06:12

Hello,
My DD (it's dad writing) will be 2 in a fortnight. DW and I have noticed some genital play in the bath etc., but recently we have noticed that it has become more intense. In the bath, she occasionally appears to be attempting to insert small toys. Tonight, my DW called me upstairs to observe the following behaviour: DW had undressed DD and left her to play in the nude. DD was kneeling down with her Po (teletubbies) toy and pulling it towards her genitals shouting 'in, in' and laughing.
Highly academic (i.e. google) research seems to suggest that genital play is normal at this age, but I think we were worried because we found her play and vocabulary so specific. One other factor: last week, I took her to a farm, and we saw a sheep give birth to a lamb, so this may be a contributing factor.
What I'm looking for is a general feel as to whether there is something unthinkable to worry about involving carers, or whether this is all within the normal range. I'd google a bit more, but I'm nervous about having too much of this topic in my search history! Any help greatly appreciated.

HerNibs1980 Mon 18-Mar-13 22:19:59

I have 2 boys and a girl and the boys have been playing for as long as they could get hold of it. My little girl, just turned, 3 fiddles about but doesnt say anything specific like that. I can see why your concerned. I would be too. Have you spoken to Health Visitor or Doctor about it or asked her why she does it? Is her vocabulary good enough to explain if anything has happened??

eightytwenty Mon 18-Mar-13 22:27:38

I'm not a worrier, and didn't panic when I discovered dd (2) articulating what she was doing as she tried to insert her toothbrush. She gives me a running commentary about most things - as far as I'm concerned this is just normal development. Obviously though I didn't let her!

madwomanacrosstheroad Mon 18-Mar-13 22:28:30

Have five children. All would have played with their genitals, been told about concept of provate etc. What does concern me about yout dd is that she appears to br acting out penetration of some kind. In my opinion that is very alarming and distinctly different from normal and expected behaviour. You have to speak to hv or gp asap!

HerNibs1980 Mon 18-Mar-13 22:35:39

Exactly my concern too...madwomanacrosstheroad...its the attempted penetration that i find worrying...my daughter doesnt do that. She just fiddles about.

philosikos Tue 19-Mar-13 00:07:22

@HerNibs, @madwoman,
Thanks for the advice. We haven't spoken to anyone yet as it just happened tonight. All the stuff in the bath before seemed fairly exploratory/normal, so wasn't worrying.
She is reasonably articulate, so next time we may just, as you suggest Nibs, ask her what's she's doing, and take it from there. I should clarify that tonight, with the teletubby, it didn't seem to be an attempt at penetration so much as just a pulling towards herself while saying 'in, in'.

@eightytwenty, thanks for the reassuring reply. We're not massive worriers either, but the behaviour was quite new. I think it's really difficult to find the right balance between trying not to see perfectly innocent behaviour through adult eyes, and being cautious about the rare but nonetheless existent dangers to small children.

ChippingInIsEggceptional Tue 19-Mar-13 00:42:41

Girls of that age do put (or try to put) things inside - it's not unusal (I lost count of the times I said things like 'don't do that with barbies leg, you'll hurt yourself' <not something you imagine yourself saying when you coo over a newborn is it!> so no playing/investigating surprises me, BUT what would concern me a little in your situation is the 'in in in' BUT if there was something unthinkable going on, that's not really a likely phrase is it?! If it were me I'd just keep a quiet eye on her and not interrogate her.

Who else cares for her other than you and your wife?

matana Tue 19-Mar-13 15:52:14

I wouldn't necessarily be too concerned. Two year olds try to insert numerous things into various places chanting "in, in". Your DD may just realise that it's another little crease on her body where she can insert/ conceal small objects, similarly to the nostrils and ears. I don't think they differentiate between orifices. Plus, toddler thrive on touch and sensation, so if it feels nice to her, she'll do it until she gets bored or finds something else that feels equally as nice. My 3.5yo niece plays with her tummy button while sucking her thumb.

You are right to query it though in case it's more than natural curiosity. You should never ignore your instincts, so it's worth talking to someone about.

matana Tue 19-Mar-13 15:54:29

Oh and DS has an obsession with pulling his willy around. Sometimes it looks very painful, but doesn't seem to bother him. I try not to react as i don't want him thinking that touching his willy is wrong, but i do sometimes say to him that he will make it sore if he pulls it too hard! He's 2.3.

Misfit13 Tue 19-Mar-13 18:27:50

I think the lamb thing is probably significant - she saw it come out; it must have gone in somehow!
My just turned 3y old DS has started off every day for a year by announcing that he "has got a massive winky" A few days ago, said winky was used to repeatedly access the Phonics song on YouTube on my phone! I also think they don't differentiate between orifices/digits..

evertonmint Tue 19-Mar-13 18:44:55

I would watch and wait. Playing with genitals is entirely normal (just been observing my own 2yo DD have a good, contented fiddle on the sofa!) I'd be a bit more concerned if mine said "in, in" but as this is the first time your DD has done it I'd be hesitant to flag it with professionals at this stage. Keep an eye on her and observe what she does over the next few weeks, but don't panic at the moment. There could be any number of innocent explanations for what you observed.

philosikos Wed 20-Mar-13 22:33:29

Thanks everyone. I think the general tenor of the views was not to worry overduly, but to keep our eye on things. So that's what we'll do. You've all been terrific, and we really appreciate your reassurance and sound advice.

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