He's bright, clever, funny, reads a lot and has a great creative imagination - writes amazing stories and poems, reads loads. He gets anxious - his active imagination is his worst enemy - he lies awake worrying about bad things happening to dh and I, or stranger danger etc. He has big trouble sleeping. He's also chaotic and disorganised, gets distracted incredibly easily, always late, has trouble finishing his schoolwork (which is messy), always losing things.
Anyone recognise this child, and if so, any hints about the best way to help equip him to function in the real world without completely stifling his creativity? We've just started a points system as an incentive: responsible, organised behaviour gets points, and when he's got enough he can cash them in for pocket money or presents. But not sure yet how that will work.
any advice welcome - books for me to read so i can help better, techniques to try etc
thanks
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Behaviour/development
Too much going on in his head - 9yo ds
RozzieR · 17/03/2013 17:16
My ds (12) is similar in many ways. Not so anxious maybe and manages to get himself to sleep by singing (at the top of his voice weirdly), but every other aspect echoes your ds. Last year when he started secondary school he was diagnosed with Dyspraxia. This was missed earlier on because he met all his physical milestones as a baby and later was just accepted as the non-sporty, absent-minded professor type. Everyone said it's a boy thing etc but I always felt there was more to it than that. He has no sense of time or organisation and the big leap to secondary school highlighted these problems.
I think many adults have struggled with this and found coping strategies on their own as it is only fairly recently recognised, much like Dyslexia used to be.
We used to use a points incentive system on a wall chart and thought it was working. In hind sight the reason it worked was it served as a reminder list for him of what he had to do next!
We now have a few systems for remembering things (like going to a piano lesson) in place, so when one fails there is usually a back up.
He is now allowed to use an alphasmart (small word processor) in class to help him keep up in class. His writing is slow and messy especially when he tries to speed up.
He finds it hard to follow a list of instructions unless given out one at a time, he usually just remembers the last thing on the list.
He uses one large backpack which holds his PE kit too, he would lose it otherwise.
I write key messages on his hand so he sees them every time he uses it.
I've taught him to make and use mind maps although this can be hit and miss because he forgets to do them unless prompted and then sometimes even forgets to follow what he has planned!
Routine is key. If something can be part of a routine it has the best chance of success. Eg: All notes, reply/permission slips, cheques to school etc. get slipped inside the clear front cover of his organizer so that all he has to remember is to look there every morning in form time rather than remember the odd day when something is needed.
I'd suggest you have a little look at Dyspraxia, if for no other reason than to have look at some of the different suggestions for helping a bright but disorganised child manage themselves. Celebrate his creativity, humour and eccentricities and remind him that we can't be brilliant at everything.
Sorry for the super long post, much may be irrelevant as your ds is still at primary school but I hope it helps a little.
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