7 year old boys with a motivation/attitude problem

(20 Posts)
UKmum4 Wed 03-May-06 13:23:34

My 7 year old boy has a relatively bad attitude. He seems to be happy to always get away with doing the minimum possible, he moans about every task he is set, and constantly complains that life is unfair. He will cry easily when told he has to complete a task or challenged in any way.

At school he does as little as is necessary to satisfy his teacher (barely) and no more.

Any advice - is it a stage he is going through?

I feel bad because its really hard not to moan at him, I think he needs to be loved and reassured through this, but it is so frustrating to watch and live with.

UKmum4 Wed 03-May-06 16:23:26

no replies - i'm getting really worried he is the only one!

Bink Wed 03-May-06 16:38:26

No no no not the only one. I think other owners of 7yo boys, inc. me, just don't know what the future holds either. I find mine frustrating a lot of the time and puzzling most of the time - with rare fleeting flashes of grown-up-ness (which add to the puzzle).

mrsbang Wed 03-May-06 16:53:20

It's my 9 year old I have problems with. Same sort of thing.

He's a middle child and in our case this seems to have some bearing. My 11 year old is quite academic and he finds work easy, My 7 year old gets to where he needs to be by putting in loads of effort and working hard to good effect.

Middle one seemingly just can't be bothered, daydreams in class, gets upset at home when asked to do homework, maintains he can't do it so why should he?

UKmum4 Wed 03-May-06 18:19:54

mmm.. he is 2 of 4 so maybe that has some bearing - i get worried that he will never be an optomistic person who can see the bright side of life - his glass definately is always half empty.

stoppinattwo Wed 03-May-06 21:02:52

My 7yo leave his clothes where they drop, tuts when he has to do anything remotely energetic - unless its football/PS2 related.

I find it quite draining sometimes, maybe a few bribery incentives, pocket money challenges etc.

Hopefully it is a very short phase, but im right there with you.

Dont feel bad your not alone

UKmum4 Wed 03-May-06 21:07:34

we're with you on the ps2!

mjp185 Wed 03-May-06 22:05:06

My 6.5 yo is EXACTLY the same, Rolls his eyes and does the 'kevin and perry' thing at:
.Getting dressed
.Getting undressed
.Meals I cook
.Days out
.going to bed
.getting up
.and everything else...
Feels like absolutley nothing will please him or make him happy....so I've stopped trying and hopefully this phase will pass before he reaches 30!
If it doesn't .. see you in the asylum!!!

cheesecake Wed 03-May-06 22:06:28

So youve met my boy then LOL . I have an only child and often get " its not fair " my reply is usually "lifes unfair get on with it "

UKmum4 Wed 03-May-06 22:09:40

Thank you cheesecake and mjp.
I tell ds he'd better be glad lifes not fair (its a standard in our house too)- as its heavily waited in his favour!

cheesecake Wed 03-May-06 22:22:39

I asked mine the other day why he was or looked so miserable and he said it was fun to be miserable as you didnt have to do anything . I also asked him why he deliberatly aggrivated me when I was watching my favorite programme ( house of tiny tearaways ) he said all kids did that and it was a fun thing to do . I suppose as an only kid he has no one else to annoy . *just me* LOL

cheesecake Wed 03-May-06 22:24:00

*just me*

cheesecake Wed 03-May-06 22:24:27

why dosnt bold work for me "its not fair "

NotAnOtter Wed 03-May-06 22:26:26

Anything screen /football related my nine year old id like a different person.....it makes me wild!

Lact8 Wed 03-May-06 22:31:01

Definately a stage they go through. My next door neighbour has teo girls, her eldest is in the same year as my ds1. Throughout school her dd1 would come straight home from school and do her homework unprompted while WW3 would be going on in our house to try and get ds1 to do his. He would always 'forget' to bring his homework home too. Faff about for 3 hours to get any task done to teh point where I'd be itching to go 'forget it I'll do it because its painful to watch you make such a drama out of tidying your room!'

But now they are both 9, next doors dd1 has started to protest about schoolwork, chores etc. Whereas ds1 is getting better, slowly but definately better. I think its taken this long to drum into him that it's easier in the long run just to do it while dd1 next door is only now beginning to realise that she can say No to it. (This seems to be quite common amongst the mums I've spoken to relating to different behaviour in boys and girls}

UKmum4 Wed 03-May-06 22:59:25

hi nao

cheesecake bold doesn't work for me either

Glad I posted ladies - your all making me feel ds is normal

UKmum4 Wed 03-May-06 23:00:00

well normal ish

NotAnOtter Wed 03-May-06 23:01:09

Ukmom check out fatface!!!

UKmum4 Wed 03-May-06 23:02:45

not mom thanks ( see my post on what your kids call you!) and re fatface - already did - have you got my email?

cat64 Wed 03-May-06 23:43:30

Message withdrawn

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