when my baby isnt eating shes crying... where am I going wrong?(32 Posts)
I cant seem to make my daughter happy and its seriously starting to eat away at me. As in the title when DD finishes her bottle she remains contented for a mere few minutes and then shes agitated and crying again.
I burp my baby it isnt wind it isnt colic I play with her sing to her talk to her she has an abundon of toys, tummy time doesnt work ... nothing seems to make her happy unless shes asleep or eating. This wouldnt be so bad but she hardly asleep during the days and sleeps mainly during the evening and night.
DD is 7 weeks its really starting to upset me, listening to my baby be agrivated all day kills me and makes me feel inadequate as a mother..
Your message reminds me of my son who had terrible problems settling and sometimes we had to resort to a 4am drive around to get him off to sleep in desperation.
He had silent reflux for a whole year and I wish I'd been more able to hold him for comfort, but due to my own ill health at the time, was simply desperate to put him down so I could get my own rest .
Dummies helped a little but not a lot. In hindsight I'd have pushed for stronger medication to help with the reflux (learned afterwards that Ranitidine can be used if Gaviscon hasn't helped enough), and I'd have tried to keep him more upright for 30 mins after feeds.
It helped a tiny bit to feed solids which are heavier and so weigh down and stay down better than breast milk. But it didn't make a massive difference, we just had to wait for him to grow out of it.
I don't know if you had indigestion in your pregnancy but it can be excruciatingly painful - gives a little insight into how it can feel for a poor little baby.
The thing about silent reflux is that it's easy to doubt whether it's really going on. I used a wedge pillow (again, didn't seem to help a lot), and it always seemed to be vomit free - but I was shocked to see it recently (after loft storage), it was grey with mould all over 'obvious' sicky areas that had never been seen before. Kind of confirmed to me that he'd been trickling without it being easily seen; his clothes and sheets had always seemed dry.
Good luck diagnosing whatever it going on. I can relate to how you feel (bad Mum) as i felt the same. It's so hard to have a crying baby and have no idea why.
Aptimel isn't the most 'filling' of formulas. In fact its like coloured water. I wouldn't use that. I'd use Cow & gate or SMA.
I don't think you sound like you're being selfish in the slightest, quite the opposite almost - as you say, you've been doing everything in your will power to try and make her happy, almost trying too hard, give yourself some time and think wow, this is only so new and fresh, it's a crazy time!
I think that's almost the problem sometimes, apologies if making assumptions, but is it your 1st ? Suddenly life changes hugely and you've a tiny baby, at the end of the day, it can actually be quite 'boring' at this point, they really do just want to eat / sleep / snuggle down.. I'm limited on my own experience (only the one, 2yrs ago as above) but I vividly recall that many of my NCT group seemed to have frantic babies which wouldn't settle because they were always being interacted with. My sister (who had her 2nd at a similar time to my 1st) commenting when I mentioned DD was grumpy, she was like well how would you feel if you were constantly having this dangled in your face or someone trying to 'talk' to you when you could barely focus!
The other thing I always noticed which applies to my train of thoughts is that when I've seen friends with 2nd baby they're rushing round after a toddler, and happy little baby is contented gurgling away it's because with two you can't have these crazy intense times and I think therefore it stops all the over stimulation.
What you don't mention is going out and about with her tucked up in the pram? Fresh air?! great for you and her - when my cut had finally healed (well before but don't tell anyone as probably did myself no favours!) I used to always wrap up (it was a very bleak January) and head out when she got grumpy - cabin fever applies to both you and her, even if we could only manage a walk round the block it seemed to settle us (both).
All the best
DD is formula fed Aptimel stage 1 I will definatley ask GP about silex reflux and possible allergies.
Cheers for that ... I had considered it I do treat her like a mini adult guess Im pretty selfish in a way cause its just me and her . I saw how my partner interacts with her... which is hardly at all and I had thought perhaps Ive been over stimulating her I have toned it down and chilled a bit and it seems to have made a difference!
Have skim read, but just a thought.. your comment about playing, singing, talking, toys, tummy time etc seems quite 'full on' for a 7 week old baby..
I had a c-section and it got infected and re-opened so whilst all my NCT friends were out and having coffee and taking baby here there and everywhere (much to my frustration at the time!) But, I was pretty much stuck on the sofa. So really until 6 weeks all she did was feed, sleep, we'd put her in her moses basket and like other's have said cluster fed in the evenings..we were very chilled as I couldn't do anything.. my GP commented as did my health visitor who saw so many anxious, stressed out Mums and babies who didn't feed properly or were just hungry that we were doing exactly what we should be - sleeping, eating..
Don't worry about anything else for the time being, toys and tummy time seem far too overstimulating for a 7 week old. She will sense your upset too and anxiety, just grab chocolates, some good dvd's and try a 'sofa' day cuddled up with baby..
Sounds like my dd2 was as a baby- she had a cows milk protein allergy and silent reflux. Screamed all day when not feeding, slept only on me but once she was on Nutramigen she was a different baby almost overnight. Good luck- it's a worrying time but hopefully you'll find a solution. Word of warning: docs may be reluctant to prescribe Nutramigen as it is v costly on a whim. You can buy it over the counter and if it works, the doctors already have the proof.
isn't there something about bfing mums giving up dairy to help this? ie, the mum gives up dairy in her diet, and that in turn affects what's going into the breastmilk, which is having some kind of negative effect on baby. somebody i know did this I'm sure and said it made a difference. something on it here
Lactose intolerance is pretty rare. A more likely candidate would be Cows Milk Protein Intolerance.
* lactose intolerance that should say.
Could she possibly be allergic to the milk? Dsd was the same and it turned out to be a dairy intolerance.
Flojo Being 10lb is irrelevant. DS was 11lb 7oz at birth and EBF to 6m. He didn't need formula, hungry baby formula or weaning early because he was big.
Hungry baby milk just bungs babies up as it's harder to digest. If babies are hungry then they need more milk in order to get the calories they need, not clogging up with thicker milk.
OP my DS was a 10lb baby, I wasn't aware that hungry baby formula was for 6m+ ? He was 9 weeks when I switched to SMA hungry baby and 16 weeks when I introduced baby rice.
Moo, it is worth videoing an episode on your phone to show to the GP.
It sounds very similar to my little girl, and could well be colic, which I think is defined as more than 3 hours unexplained crying each day. Another possibility is silent reflux and it's worth trying baby gaviscon (available on prescription) which you can add to her bottle.
My little girl grew out of it at about 12 weeks but it was truly depressing at the time, I felt like a failure. I echo the sling suggestion as that was the one thing that made a big difference, she would happily sleep in it for a couple of hours at at time (although she did grumble going into it, but once I walked around for a bit she fell asleep).
Don't worry, this phase will end very soon. One day my baby just started cooing and smiling.
Sounds like silent reflux to me as well, dd was breast fed but was the exact same thing, I could not comfort her no matter what I did. Go see your gp moomoo and mega hugs because I remember just how hard it is...
Persevere with the dummy. I think it will really help in the end.
Mine has similar trouble at the same age. I changed to SMA Wysoya formula and within 2-3 days he was calm and happy. Good luck. Zx
I thought silent reflux or colic. Colic is simply unexplained crying - it isn't necessarily because of wind.
For us, it began with feeding issues. DD would take 1-2oz and then start screaming. She was very stiff, almost like a board, and clearly still hungry. Quite simply, the milk appeared to be hurting her.
It then progressed to hours and hours and hours of continuous screaming without any breaks at all. She would not be out down at all. The only way we could get to sleep was on the move - pram, sling, car, birth ball. The movement seemed to distract her.
She craved physical contact at all times, including at night. She just wanted to be held close all the time.
Silent reflux is when the stomach acid enters the bottom of the oesophagus and burns it. There is no or little vomiting with silent reflux.
Could it be cluster feeding? Not sure if that only applies to bfed babies?!
I remember feeding & feeding & feeding for hours from 6pm until DD eventually went to sleep at about 10pm. Heaven help us if she wasn't been fed...car trips, bouncing, rocking, just would not do!
ZuleikaD sling purchased and done delivered on weds! Ill let you know how it goes!
Flojobunny I thought this too as she was a bigger baby at birth at 8.9 but ive read that you have to wait till 6month + how old was your DS when you switched him?
stargirl701 Ive read a lot on mumsnet about silent reflux but never understood really the symptoms? my general understanding is that its like a sort or baby indigestin? any help there?
Thanks for responses!
She sounds hungry to me. My DS was like this and when I switched to hungry baby formula he was a bit better and when I weaned him it made all the difference.
Does anyone have a sling you could borrow to give it a try? Lots of places have sling 'libraries' where you can try out various types before buying.
Thanks again for the replies!
yeah Zuleika definate cuddles infact I'm sad cuddling isnt something she seems to enjoy this past week/s I have considered a sling but being as though cuddling is something she doesnt respond well to ie: pushing away from me , stiffening her body to a standing position, kicking and crying I thought it would be a usless purhcase? I love the idea of them though.
Pascha she was on dentinox colic medicine for a while, Im starting to regret taking her off these as it seems by popular response she may have wind problems still. I was just wary of the consequences of keeping her on these for extended periods of times...since shes not been taking these medicines she sleeps so much better evening nights and for much longer so I assumed the sleeping patterns ran in conjunction with cutting down on gripe water?
Again thanks for the replies shes napping now RELEIF!! I live in a semi-detached property sometimes I think my neighbors must think Im a horrendous mother!!! which just adds to the anxiety!
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