Toilet phobia

(5 Posts)
Repetitiverobot Sat 02-Mar-13 18:54:01

Hi.
My DD is 6 and I'm quite concerned about her reluctance or inability to use a toilet out of the house.
She can literally hold it (wee) for about 8 hours at times and will insist she doesn't need to go or can't go.
I'm not sure if it started in reception year at school when they had an overflowing toilet and it freaked her out. But today we had a party at a play centre, so left the house at 10am. we then left the party at 1pm at which point I tried her on the toilet, she said she didn't need to go, so I went (to sort of show her its all ok) and we left to meet dh and ds in town. Ds then say he needed the toilet about 3ish so we all went. Now she hadn't gone since about 9am so she must have needed to go but wouldn't, just sat on it and said it wouldn't come out. I'm convinced its all in her head as when were at home she will go generally without much fuss. (But doesn't paeticulally like going)
Now we have issues with constipation so she will only ever poop at home, so were talking wee here. But im totally unsure of how to deal with this, I don't want to make things worse but know I've got frustrated with her after its been 6 hrs and I can tell she needs to go but won't.
She will rarely go at school, so again can hold it all day. I'm worried she will get a bladder infection. I've tried talking to her but she just says she can't go.
I'm so worried as tbh her reluctance to poop is stressful enough without adding weeing into it now. She generally just doesn't like using toilets, but that's not the answer!!!
Help. Do you think it's a phobia or could it be something medically wrong that's stopping her?

whimsicalmess Sun 03-Mar-13 16:31:06

Is there a reason e.g. anything happened in the past,?

my child fell down the toilet and is terrrified of the toilet in general hmm

Ineedmorepatience Sun 03-Mar-13 17:00:54

Hi, my Dd2 has been like this for years, she didnt use the school toilets all the way through secondary school and would hold her poo when we were on camping holidays and when away with school and guides.

I used to really worry about her and she has been really constipated many times.

I would recommend increasing her fluid intake for a start.

Is she able to tell you what it is about the toilet that she doesnt like, with Dd2 is was the smell usually and sometimes that she couldnt go if there were other people in there.

Dd2 is much better now, she takes a small body spray in to public toilets to get rid of the smell.

This has stressed me out for years and now Dd3 is doing it aswell and she has recently had a really nasty water infection. I would go and talk to your school nurse or GP if I were you, without her initially to see if they have any suggestions.

Good lucksmile

Repetitiverobot Sun 03-Mar-13 18:27:07

Hi, thanks for the replies. I've tried asking her if there is anything she doesn't like about the toilets, but she says she just can't go. She does go in and sit on them without much fuss but just can't seem to let go and go. She's suffered from constipation from a baby so I honestly would expect her to even attempt a poo outside of a home environment, as we can take some time to get an end result, movicol has just stopped being a daily requirement in our house since she was 12mths old (now 6!). But the weeing really concerns me. I know she said someone walked In on her at school recently and then waited outside the cubicle for her to finish. Tbh that would put me off, so that might have triggered it. Although she has always been a bit funny about it, not to the point if not going, just taking a while to relax and then it trickles out. Just can't put my finger on why!!
I'm trying not to make a deal of it to her, but again tbh I'm not the calmest when I'm worried for her/stressed. I just want to handle this in the correct way so she doesn't develop a full blown fear of public toilets.
At home she can hold it and needs prompting to go after a few hrs and generally doesn't really like going but can and will.
At a loss really?!

Repetitiverobot Sun 03-Mar-13 19:09:57

**sorry I wouldn't expect her to attempt a poo outside if the home.

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