Come tell me dd isn't really behind for her age...

(111 Posts)
BeaWheesht Fri 01-Mar-13 17:32:19

Tool dd to doctors today as she's been unwell - when nurse listened to her tummy she was aghast to see she's still in nappies and told dd she was far too old to be wearing nappies.

Dd is 2y5m - I had planned on potty training at the start of January but we've all been ill with various things since then.

So, tell me, is she really 'far too old' ????

BeaWheesht Fri 01-Mar-13 18:26:34

Thanks for the Advice / opinions everyone grin glad I'm not holding her back - we are starting soon if we're ever well

Ashoething Fri 01-Mar-13 18:28:08

maja-you are sooooooooooooo funnygrin My ds is nearly 4 and not toilet trained-is only just beginning to show signs of being ready. Am not in the least bit concerned-dd was dry by 2.5 and my other dc is bed wetter at 10-are you clutching your pearls in horror?

MajaBiene Fri 01-Mar-13 18:34:58

I'm not horrified, I just find it odd and unfair to leave a child of that age in nappies. "Not ready" seems to mean "won't train themselves with as little effort/input from me as possible".

elah11 Fri 01-Mar-13 18:37:43

Ashoething still in nappies at almost 4 with no sn? Sorry but that IS unusual and smacks of laziness on your behalf.

CelticPromise Fri 01-Mar-13 18:39:01

No, it means not capable of telling me if he has a wet or dirty nappy, no evident dry periods day or night, and no attempt to use the potty at all when put in pants. At the last attempt I cleaned five accidents from the floor by lunchtime. Will be trying again at Easter but I won't be pushing if he's still not ready.

Ashoething Fri 01-Mar-13 18:39:40

Is my 10 year old who still wets the bed lazy then? Oh and do fuck off with your sneery judgy pantsgrin

LadyWidmerpool Fri 01-Mar-13 18:39:47

All. Children. Are. Different. Sheesh.

AvonCallingBarksdale Fri 01-Mar-13 18:41:27

I "did" both DS and DD when they turned 3. It took 2 weeks for both of them. I have never thought of that as being lazy smile Why would any of us want to spend months having accidents trying to train them before they were really ready confused

Ashoething Fri 01-Mar-13 18:43:05

Exactly ladywid but some people like to feel smug over stuff that really is not that big a deal-its a bit sad really.

Goldmandra Fri 01-Mar-13 18:43:06

Why does training have to be a long hard slog with lots of effort Maja?

I introduced the potty to DD1 around her second birthday then made it part of the bathtime routine until she was 2.5 and appeared to be ready. When I put her in pants she was dry barring a handful of accident immediately.

Surely that's the best way to do it?

I could have started earlier and, with far more accidents, possible upsets and washing to do, had her trained months before 2.5 but it doesn't seem like a more desirable alternative to me confused

....or am I just lazy too?

MajaBiene Fri 01-Mar-13 18:43:28

Ashoething - bed wetting is a slightly different issue as it is partly to do with whether a child starts producing a hormone that stops urine production at night. A child of 10 who is still bedwetting should probably be seen my a enuresis clinic though if they haven't been already.

Celtic - children have accidents. Giving up by lunchtime does sound lazy.

TheSecondComing Fri 01-Mar-13 18:45:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MajaBiene Fri 01-Mar-13 18:45:11

Goldmandra - of course it doesn't have to be a hard slog, but it does often require a bit of parental effort, especially if the child hasn't trained themselves by 3. Your child was out of nappies by 2.5 which is completely normal confused

formallyknownasloveydarling Fri 01-Mar-13 18:45:11

In colder countries of Northern Europe hardly anyone even tries in the winter as kids are in tights and trousers, making it harder for them - and everyone else! And who wants to rush outside to the loo or have to whip the potty out in a park at -10 degrees?
Most kids are 3 before starting. One persons normal is another persons weird I guess!

elah11 Fri 01-Mar-13 18:45:33

Ashoething enuresis is entirely different to not being tt, they are controlled by different hormones etc so they are not to be compared. I most certainly do not think a child of 10 who bed wets is lazy, thats an entirely different issue. And I do not think a 4 yr old who is not tt is lazy either, I think the parent who chooses not to tt them however is a little . But feel free to chuck expletives around if it makes you feel better grin

Cakecrumbsinmybra Fri 01-Mar-13 18:45:57

I don't understand people saying it is "laziness" not to potty train. I'm sure they would rather not be still changing nappies. I also hate the term potty "training" - you point children in the right direction, etc, but you do not train them like a bloody puppy. DS1 was dry at 2.5, including at night, the night bit being completely of his own accord. He asked for a nappy to poo in until he was exactly 3. Then using a few ideas we progressed from potty to toilet quite quickly. But in those 6 months he was adamant about the nappy and what was the point of making everyone miserable to insist he did it in a potty instead? It was not out of laziness though, that's for sure.

Ashoething Fri 01-Mar-13 18:46:10

Yes maja- my dcis attending a clinic-I havent just been letting him piss everywherehmm

Was I not "lazy" when my dd was trained-never had 1 accident-by 2.5 then? or could it be because all children are ready at different stages?....

MajaBiene Fri 01-Mar-13 18:49:37

If your child has a medical issue then obviously it is not parental laziness.

Some children train very easily with no accidents. Most children it takes a week or two with some accidents. Some children find it harder and there are lots of accidents.

Not bothering with a child who is more work is lazy.

akaemmafrost Fri 01-Mar-13 18:52:31

It doesn't need to be an "effort", I truly believe if it's an "effort" then they're not ready.

Both mine trained a few weeks after 3rd birthday. Dry during the day within days and dry at night within two weeks.

They were ready.

CelticPromise Fri 01-Mar-13 18:52:48

maja that is of course not the extent of what we have tried, just an example, and evidence that he's not ready- he doesn't know when he needs a wee! I just don't think it's necessary to push him. Incidentally he sees an army of medical professionals for follow up because of serious health problems as a baby, and none of them have ever mentioned it so it can't be that big a deal. I hate the thought that people are judging us because he's in nappies.

5madthings Fri 01-Mar-13 19:02:23

I agree with akaem my ds1 was out of nappies at 18mths, just did it himself.

Ds2 was just three as was ds2 and ds4 was 3yrs 5mths. All of them were dry within a few days, literally no more than a few accidents.

Dd is 26mths and not ready at all, if she shows signs I will try this summer but if not we will wait.

All of mine have had 'nappy free' time, everyday from birth, and we have a potty about so the opportunity is always there if they want to give it a go. But it was very obvious watching them that they didn't train till they were ready and had awareness etc. Dd will look down in surprise when she sees with no nappy on, she is no where near ready to train.

sockmonkey Fri 01-Mar-13 19:04:02

I waited till all mine were 3 before potty training. It's a LOT easier when they can tell you, and can pull trousers up & down on their own.

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 01-Mar-13 19:04:16

'I truly believe if it's an "effort" then they're not ready.'

If after a week/2 weeks of 'effort' they're potty trained, then surely they were ready? If they weren't ready they wouldn't be able to do it would they?

ChunkyChicken Fri 01-Mar-13 19:05:01

My DD is 2.10. I tried potty training in the summer (at 2.4) & failed. She asked to go back in a nappy to do a poo sad However, DS was born when she was 2.6 so didn't want regression issues or to be even more stressed out doing it with a brand new newborn.

I'm planning to try again in a couple of wks.

Clearly, judging by some on here, I'm lazy & she's backwards.... Or perhaps its that every child & situation is different & one size doesn't fit all??!!! hmm

akaemmafrost Fri 01-Mar-13 19:06:27

Did you read my post? It took US a couple of weeks. I just didn't consider it an "effort"

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