Good babies = bad toddlers and vice versa?(21 Posts)
Dd (4) has been hard work (wonderful, but hard work) since day 1
Ds (1) was easy baby but has got progressively difficult the more he has been able to move in terms of getting into mischief. He's still a lot more chilled out than dd
My DS2 (now 7) was sheer hell between 3 months and 2 years. Constantly unhappy, never slept, hated being out of the house, had temper tantrums where he'd hit his head in the floor - hard! I was at my wits end. But suddenly he turned 2 and became the most adorable, sweet natured, content and affectionate little darling! We always ask what the hell happened to make him the way he was. He's a completely different child now.
Pretty sure it's nonsense BUT if it makes you feel better my son was a born insomniac & is now sleeping through 7 til 7 (aged 2). If someone had told me how well he'd sleep eventually I'd have spat my double espresso at them
My twins are like this. The calm, happy, smiley baby is now a sleepless, clingy, wailing toddler. The hypersensitive, screaming round the clock baby is now a confident, funny, easy to parent toddler.
My sleepy baby (to the point he had to be woken up after 5 for a feed) is now a sleepy 17mo (most of the time).
I expect it will change though.
So, mine were both "better" as babies than as toddlers, but I just find babies much easier in general - far less negotiation required.
Babies - you just work out what they want and give it to them !
Very true for mine and I hadnt thought of it like that until now!
Dd1 - Horrible baby. Cried loads, didnt sleep well for a long time etc. Lovely toddler and now a lovely 5yo.
Dd2 - Fab baby, slept well, very easy to care for - Now a horrible 3 yo!
I think on the whole it's more the parents that can be good and bad at different stages/ find different ages easy or difficult.
I reckon if you did some scientific research you'd be more likely to find a straight-forward, positive, correlation between easy babies and easy toddlers, and between more difficult babies and toddlers ( than a weird, negative correlation )
Just my guess !
True for mine
Ds1 - horrendous baby, easy ever since
Ds2 - laid back baby, turned into a monster at 9months old
DS in retrospect was a proper high needs baby and a very high needs toddler. I've noticed he's become much calmer as the years go by (though my friends still think he's a complete handful compared to their kids) and now as a pre- schooler is just a joy of a child (maybe it's just in comparison!)
DD was everything I expected a 'normal' child to be like, fairly easy as a baby even though she was a terrible sleeper (and still is) and is properly having terrible twos at the moment.
Dunno I guess in answer to your question. A very few people are lucky I suppose and get babies with easy temperaments that grow up to be easy kids, but everyone else has sticky patches and it does always get better eventually!
Ds1 was a very laid back baby and toddler and still is pretty laid back.
Ds2 was an easy baby, but by 9 months I realised that he's very independent and busy and quite advanced with certain skills.
I wouldn't describe them as good or bad babies but I struggled a lot more with ds1's sleep and feeding as a baby, but had got things sorted when ds2 arrived so found it easier.
D3 was a very similar baby to ds1 (who I struggled with) and I used a completely different approach to his sleeping (strict routine!) which has made things so much easier for me to manage.
I used sleep training with my non-sleeping baby and it changed my life!
DS was angelic baby and toddler and hellish 4 year old although it seems a general 4 year old thing that they go batshit insane, so I don't know.
Nope, dd was a calm and happy baby and is a calm and happy pre schooler. She was and still is rubbish about sleeping at night.
I think that whether a baby is good or bad is the perception of those around the baby as much as anything else.
I didn't know the colour of my DS's eyes for two weeks after he was born. As a baby he slept a lot, smiled a lot, rarely cried and was the most laid back, easy going baby i've ever come across - you could literally take him everywhere.
He's 2.2 now and while I would never describe him as 'bad' or 'naughty' he is certainly high maintenance. He can be challenging, defiant, wilful, spirited, aggressive, emotional and extremely physically active. He's a jump in first, think later kind of little person. Essentially he's a very 'normal' toddler, though probably towards the high end of the activity/ challenge spectrum.
He's also affectionate, loving, bright, funny, talkative and outgoing. I wouldn't change him for the world but yes, a very different character to his babyhood!
Not in my experience. DS was a delightful chilled baby and is still a delightful chilled pre-schooler. DD was a grumpy high needs baby and is turning into a grumpy high needs toddler!
My sleeping calm cheery baby turned into a calm cheery toddler and is now a calm cheery nearly 13yo.
My stressy restless baby was a stressy toddler but is now far less stressy at 11, though a lot more stressy than dd1. I still sometimes wonder if she has adhd.
Easy dd3 was also an easy toddler. More stressy as she got older though but only as she got towards school age.
In our family, they have stayed more or less how they were at 1 day old, personality-wise.
I was an angelic baby and toddler apparently - and hell on wheels as a teenager.
I tend to work on the assumption you're due a shit patch somewhere along the line basically.
DS2 was 7 on Valentines day. He's an awful sleeper. He rarely seams to sleep for more than a couple of hours, he's always awake soon after 5. He just doesn't need masses of sleep.
He's a gorgeous intelligent, sporty, sensitive child.
The thing that has changed over the years is that he's learnt to stay in bed, not wake the household when he pops to the bathroom, play games quietly in bed when he wakes and not get out of it till others are awake. He's happy to go to bed at 7pm and has learnt to enjoy the quiet time/ how to doze.
I remember spending a fortune on eye creams trying to cure the major black rings that i thought were permanent. Fortunately things gradually improved and with better sleep the rings slowly reduced.
I love the old saying 'what ever it is its a phase'. Because every parent must have those days of exhaustion and frustration but with that there will be others where you're overwhelmed by how proud you feel in how far they've come.
I have a DD to go with my two DS's. She in sleep terms is his polar opposite. She slept through from day 1!
very random - I have known the very difficult babies turning the most delightful toddlers and preschoolers and "angel' babies - eg who slept through at 6 week being pretty difficult toddlers but also easy babies who carried on being so, and difficult -eg grumpy and/or poor sleepers who carried on that way -sorry no help
Was given this piece of 'advice' from a distant friend commenting on my baby who sleeps terribly.
I actually don't believe any child can be called 'bad' but I understand what they were getting at in terms of sleep/teething trouble etc...
Just wondering whether more experienced mums have found this to be true?
understanding the use of bad as the easiest way to explain what I mean and not a description of a child
Did your sleepy, calm babies turn into harder to manage
than the average toddlers?
Or did your non sleeping high needs babies calm right down as they got older?!
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