Why Is this happening? Sorry could be a long rant

[jambuttie]

My head is all mashed up, feeling like I can no longer cope.

We are currently awaiting a diagnosis for DT2, possibly to be either dyspraxia or cerebal palsy, we will get a diagnosis I hope when we return to child development centre in August.

Thing is his twin is and has always been rather boisterous. We always were like "ah he's just a typical wee lad" or "oh dear terrible 2's" I'm afraid it has gone beyond all this.

A few examples are

yesterday I went to the loo coming back down stairs I could smell gas yes you guessed it he had turned the cooker on(no ignition this time though he has ignited in the past) went to the freezer and took out some smiley faces abd a crispy pancake and put them in the oven what a fright I got.

He has climbed uphis brothers bunk bed top bunk and jumped off, stood on the wardrobe that was at te bottom of the bunk bed and jumped from that too.

He has tried to jump down the stairs(all 14 off them) and also attempted to push his twin down the stairs. If he get a telling off for things eg list above he physically attacks me or the person nearest to him, bites all the times and totally freaks out-MAJOR MELTDOWN.

If you touch him without prior warning eg give a cuddle he looses control it has to be his terms or you 1st saying x can mummy have a cuddle please and he will do it.

He is very very independant to the extent he has to empty his own plates/bowl after meals if I/dad does it again MAJOR MELTDOWN.

We have done sticker charts, naughty step. We have a good home structure and routine for the boys nothing seems to help. We praise him when he does good so it ain't even like "god they only tell me when I am bad" we tell our boys numerous times a day how much we love them too.

Health visitor is coming to my house on Thursday to do an assesment on him prior to esclating his issues further eg child development centre.

I am at my witshe is up anything from 6-12 times in a night, jumps on his brothers head etc to wake them up, hits out constantly, if he wants a tpy he WILL get hell or high water, whether he has to be physical or not to get it that doesn't matter to him. He has the consentration span of a gnat

I am so stressed an worried incase he too has special needs like his twin how am I to cope?

Sorry it was long folks just had to let a bit out too

Will also post this on SN board to see if anyone can give me some advise.

We have now done viaual picture for him as it appears he ain't processing the information given to him regardless of little info we give.

Thanks for reading/listening to my cries

Jam

[jambuttie]

hi

the diagnosis we are expecting is either dyspraxia or CP.

we share our time with the boys equally, obviously there are some things that DT" need help with but we dont make a fuss of it if that makes sense

fingers crossed it all works out

[Spagblog]

That sounds tiring. He sounds very active for sure. Hope someone can offer you some advice.

[Nikkinoo]

no advise but hope that you can get the help you and your family need. x

[Rodeo]

How old is he jam?

My ds is 4 and does a lot of things your ds does with regards to meltdowns, endless energy, climbing up stuff, breaking things, lashing out, concentration span of gnat, ferociously independent etc.

We've been at our wits end too but have been just ecouraging all the things he's good at, like his physical ability (he seems to respond really well to this and says he wants to be a stuntman) and trying to ignore the bad. We've been trying to give him as much exercise outside as we can too, and this helps with his mood in the house (he's much worse in the house)

He sounds very 'normal' to me, and pretty intelligent too, maybe you see worse than it because he's got a twin who is quite different? Also waiting for DT2's diagnosis must be v. stressful for you both and the stress may make it seem his behaviour is worse than it is - I know when I reach a low point ds's bad behaviour seems 100 times worse.

Hope things get better for you and good luck with the diagnosis :)

[jambuttie]

Thanks folks for all your advice

the twins are 2 and ds1 4

though his antics are beyond the terrible 2's

[Aimsmum]

No advice, I'm afraid, but it sounds very hard for you.

I hope you get on well with the HV on Thursday and get a bit of support.

[purplefraggle]

wow, special needs is such a special area, of course you will cope, it may seem daunting but if you can cope with one already, two will be worked out just as you have already done. you already seem to be handling this in a good way. really hope this all goes well for you, will be thinking of you x

[jambuttie]

Thanks folks, it's nice to know I can share this with "neutral" people and not feel like I am being judged if that makes sense