I feel guilty my 17 month old loves tv so much

(76 Posts)
Cupcakemummy85 Mon 17-Dec-12 22:28:28

I feel so guilty about this and don't have a go at me all at once lol but my dd loves watch tv. Mainly peppa pig and Ben and holly. I try and make sure we r out once a day but I'm 32 weeks pregn and starting to feel rather tired now. My friends say don't worry it's fine but I can't help feeling bad especially when my dd has a massive tantrum after I switch her programme off. It's not all day she watches it but a bit in the morning and afternoon. My dp puts her programmes on for her all the time, even when I ask him to play with her. I feel like I'm going to loose sleep over this. I've got so many things to worry about with her, not sleeping through, not eating too well and now telly addiction :s if I don't have it on she sits by the gate to the kitchen and screams whilst I'm making a coffee or something like that. This evening I even read her favourite book 20 times (litreally!!) so she wouldbt watch tv. Lol am I really doing a bad thing by letting her watch tv. Please tell me it's not that bad :/

ZuleikaD Thu 20-Dec-12 06:36:47

Just saying.

Bibs123 Thu 20-Dec-12 07:57:19

Extreme parenting is not for me, i would like to teach my daughter to enjoy things in moderation. I would be worried that by banning things you could cause uneccesary guilt or anxiety in the future. No medals from me for the no tv brigade ( i do wonder if they watch it themselves).

SleighbellsRingInYourLife Thu 20-Dec-12 07:58:13

I know exactly what it's like to be heavily pregnant with a toddler.

I've done it twice.

SleighbellsRingInYourLife Thu 20-Dec-12 08:00:13

Not putting the TV on for a child under 2.5 causes no issues at all.

How could it possibly?

TV can be great. But not for small toddlers.

give yourself a break, you're pregnant. and TV will be a godsend once your baby is here.

If you weren't aware it may be a problem then i'd say you need to do something about it, but as you are conscious and aware that too much tv isn't so great and do other things with her then you're fine.

My dd was the same at the same age, she still loves TV now but she also reads at yr 2 level while in yr 1 and the youngest in her class.

Cupcakemummy85 Thu 20-Dec-12 08:33:50

I've definitely started being more relaxed about the tv. I thought my dd was getting addicted to it. Getting upset when I turned it off but actually she does that a lot when I've had enough of reading the gingerbread man for the tenth time lol. She has that kind I personality, whenever we stop doing anything she hates it. Tv is something she enjoys and many of her friends her age do to but like most of her friends she gets out and does other things too. I'm sure just like me when i was younger, once she is at nursery and school she will be busy with hobbies etc and won't have time for that much tv.

ZuleikaD Thu 20-Dec-12 09:48:04

There's no question of 'banning' it - we just don't have it. The children don't know there is such a thing as tv. And no, I don't watch tv either - we don't have an aerial or a licence.

Bearandcub Thu 20-Dec-12 09:53:53

It's fine, really. Do what you need to do to get through the difficult patches and then look at it again if you're still concerned.

Jakeyblueblue Thu 20-Dec-12 10:53:51

I wouldn't worry op.
Goodness me, there's far worse things a parent can do than let the kids watch tv.
I let ds 18 months watch tv. He loves it and has learnt no end from it. I agree that things like the Disney channel are just mindless noise but cbeebies is fine. IMO it's quite educational. Ds loves bob the builder and Thomas and knows all his machines as a result. Points out trains and diggers and cars and can say them all. He also loves show me show me and will try to sing the songs and knows some of the signing from something special. Obviously I don't use tv as my sole method of education / entertainment. We do crafts and cooking and masses of reading but theres also a place for a bit of tv.
I think calling people lazy for allowing toddlers to watch tv is harsh. All op wanted was a bit of reassurance that it was ok for her little one to be watching a bit of tv whilst she was so tired. And let's face it, it's perfectly ok.
Most of us will have grown up watching tv and are all ok. In fact I watched loads of it and I've just completed a masters degree. smile

Jakeyblueblue Thu 20-Dec-12 11:11:43

Oh and also tv will be a god send when the new baby arrives, especially if you are breastfeeding. That's unless of course, you are like some of the super mums on here, that can breastfeed, cook and make crafts with toddlers all at the same time. grin

LaCiccolina Thu 20-Dec-12 11:28:31

ur on the later stages of a pregnancy. U are not suggesting this will continue always. It's very much "of its moment". Therefore ignore everyone on this thread, it won't harm dd if its a short term thing.

Dd has been sick for 3wks and I'm in last leg of preg. She's watching more tv than usual but once all settles down ill sort it back out. It won't fry her brain or make her dumb in 12wks.

Anyone who thinks otherwise to that is a fool, and plainly hasn't read the ops words properly.

Ionasky Thu 20-Dec-12 11:28:58

My DD loves it too - if you've got to cook dinner/make coffee/shower (and she also can throw tantrums when not getting attention) then what can you do? I would say that I've found a lot of books that have been recorded on youtube, might be an idea to mix it up a bit (bear hunt, tiger who came to tea, gruffalo) so you can get DH to show her those instead of TV - at least slightly different and gets her used to the stories.

These studies on TV watching are dealing with the average child and my daughter certainly finds it comforting. It might be harder to break less desirable habits when the new one comes along. You can only do your best, I'm sure but they will stop the tantrums eventually if you make it clear that watching TV is a treat and it happens at set times and not at other times. Parenting - it's really hard eh? The no TV at all thing would require super-human commitment - I think it's unrealistic unless you have absolutely fantastic family/friend support and who has?

Snazzyfeelingfestive Thu 20-Dec-12 11:49:55

I agree with the poster who suggested a limited amount of tv each day, eg 30 mins twice a day. I also think setting up a routine for the evening time when your DP is in charge of her would help - say that she gets 3 stories before the TV goes on. It isn't particularly fair that wheneve he's in charge he defaults to just putting the TV on. We all (with the exception of posters who have no TV etc...) use it at times to allow us to get on with other things like cooking dinner, but you put in the effort at other times with her. It doesn't sound like your DP does.

Fazerina Thu 20-Dec-12 14:22:04

Hello OP! I haven't read through the whole thread and sorry if someone already posted this, but I just loved Prof. R.Winston's reply on the live chat yesterday:

"Hello Prof. Winston!
Does watching TV for an hour a day have a negative effect on a child's brain development? If a young child never watched TV would they be more advanced than one who watched TV a little bit each day or one who watched TV constantly? Do you think 'educational' programmes make a difference with regards to how much TV a child watches?
Thanks

Dear milkyjo. I would have thought that watching tv for an hour a day is more valuable than staring through a dining room window. I would add that in general prolonged watching tv without parental supervision is not a good idea for any child of a young age. RW"

Like you, I have been concerned about my 19-month-old DS watching too much and I asked a SALT at my children's centre about this. She told me to obviously try to restrict it and to try to make it as interactive an experience as possible by commenting loads on what's going on on the screen, asking DC questions etc. I enjoy watching Something Special every morning with DS and together we point at things around the room and say 'Look, an X, Y, Z' etc. [Grin]

Fazerina Thu 20-Dec-12 14:22:53

Hehe, that was meant to be a grin!

Cupcakemummy85 Thu 20-Dec-12 14:49:03

Thats very interesting to hear what an expert is saying. And I do agree with him. Also as I was reading 'each peach pear plum' for litreally the 20th time I thought to myself, this isn't that different to tv. My dd is sitting completely still looking at pictures. Not tht much difference in it really. Lol. I do put cbeebies on a bit more as I can interact with the programme a bit more than peppa pig.

Cupcakemummy85 Thu 20-Dec-12 14:51:01

Oh and we tried painting today and it was fine for two mins and then my dd tried to eat the paint and use it as face paints. Not quite the crafty morning I had in mind lol. Perhaps I should wait a little longer until she's a bit older lol

Houseworkprocrastinator Thu 20-Dec-12 14:52:13

I have a friend who read the study about not letting under 3s watch telly, she was not aloud to watch it at all. her daughter is now 4 and completely obsessed with the television. If asked what she wants to do it is always watch television. Mine have been aloud to watch as much as they want and really can take it or leave it. There are a few programs they love to watch but other than that they go and play.

so i think that by banning something completely you can turn it into a big deal.

i wouldn't worry OP everyone has lazy days and i think there is too much pressure on parents to keep their children entertained and do stuff with them every moment of the day.

naturalbaby Thu 20-Dec-12 15:02:41

heavily pregnant with 2 toddlers sounds painful wink.

Seriously, well done to anyone who has managed to survive pregnancy and looking after a toddler. I only survived because my toddler and preschooler still had afternoon naps when baby did so I got a bit of peace and quiet every day.
You don't have to make other pregnant mothers feel like crap because they are struggling.

I thought at least ds1 gets a few days without t.v because he's at school full time, and then he comes home telling me what movie he's watched at wet play time!
I was hardly allowed any sweets, crisps, chocolate when I was a child and now eat so much sugar I have huge fillings. Everything in moderation.

CecilyP Thu 20-Dec-12 15:26:20

I am heavily pregnant with two toddlers and we still don't have tv

No wonder!

DinosaursOnASleigh Thu 20-Dec-12 15:29:10

My ds3 has Noddy on most of the day, I'm 34 weeks pregnant and understand the tiredness. But, to be honest I'd probably have it on even if I wasn't pregnant.

Karoleann Thu 20-Dec-12 15:31:32

Does she have and aquadraw? My DD loves hers and she's the same age. I wouldn't worry too much, more than a couple of hours is bad, but you're bound to be tired at the moment.
I imagine you'll watch much more when you have a secnd one.
DC1 would at that age watched Tv from 5.30am-7am and then from 6-7pm at that age. Interestingly neither DC2 or DC3 had any interest at that age, DC2 was probably 2 and a half before he showed an interest and DC3 just ignores it.
It is easier to keep LO's entertained when you have another for them to play with.

CecilyP Thu 20-Dec-12 15:38:03

^Not putting the TV on for a child under 2.5 causes no issues at all.

How could it possibly?^

Obviously it is not going to cause 'issue' as children managed for generations without TV.

TV can be great. But not for small toddlers.

I think it can be great for children too. A lot of programmes are very engaging and specially useful on these dark winter days when you can't get out so much. The level of repetition is appealing too and, as another poster said, not so very different from reading the same story for the 10th time. I thought TV was just wallpaper for babies until my 8 month old was watching Playschool then crawled away as soon as the Conservative Party (I'm sure it could have been any political party) Conference came on straight after.

happydad02 Thu 20-Dec-12 15:42:53

Try other things to distract your child away from the TV like drawing or painting etc. I can understand how exhausting it is as I have two girls only two years apart. If not try Cbeebis as Mr tumble and numbertums are interactive and educational at the same time.

ellesabe Sun 23-Dec-12 19:55:49

OP, my dd1 was exactly like this.

Then overnight (at 24mo) she decided she didn't like telly any more and preferred playing with her toys instead.

This happened to coincide precisely with the arrival of dd2 which is a bit inconvenient!!

She now had her favourite programs which she prefers to watch on the iPad.

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