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i dont know if its me being really intolerant or dd being a nightmare but im struggling to keep my cool.
when we go upstairs to get ready for school, i put their clothes on their beds and ask dds to get dressed. dd2 is 2 and will take her pjs off run to bathroom as ask for help washing, which i do. dd1 sits on her bed and stares about doing nothing. i offer help, she sits there. i end up nagging and nagging. she will make silly comments "i cant get dressed as im in my pjs" so i say get your pjs off get a wash and il help if you struggle with tights or whatever. i end up shouting and removing whatever toy she is aimlessly fiddling with and forcing her to get washed.
i have tried no nagging, just getting on with getting myself ready and helping dd2 a bit, i looked in after 15 mins hoping she would take it on herself to get dressed. she was stil sitting looking at an ornament
at dinner, we ask her to sit on chair, facing table, eat with cutlery. every day she kneels up, sits down, kneels up, sits down, swings her legs, sits sideways, eats with her fingers, swings her arms round, sings loudly, asks for pudding when noone has finished so dd2 then starts wanting pudding. at least once a week at dinnertime she falls off her chair. at least once a week she spills her milk everywhere. every day she drops food all over the floor as she eats while facing sideways/kneeling up.
today after being reminded to sit down, she knelt up, leaned to fiddle with her shoe, slipped off chair and smashed her face/nose into dps chair causing a massive bruise on her nose and her screaming.
last week she wobbled off a chair while watching tv and smashed her mouth off the tv unit. she doesnt learn.
bathtime, every night she runs off and hides and is hysteriacl laughing, despite us telling her its naughty behaviour and just get in the bloody bath. tonight i left her hiding and just bathed me and dd2. after we got out she came in demanding a bath, i said she was too late so she screamed the house down.
i know she wants the attention of being nagged, told to stop petty stuff, found at bathtime, but its past a joke and she gets plenty of attention.
am i being intolerant? is this normal for a 5 yr old?
Well, I tried a different approach today. It's lots of detail, sorry!! Ds didn't go in for tantrums at all when younger, so I havent had any practise with a 5 year old going into meltdown. ( dd is calm and gets on with it, she is 3)
Served food, ds went ballistic as he was expecting chips. I did home made chips. He knew this beforehand. He thw himself about, screamed at me, marched to the freezer and threw open the door pointing out the perfect oven chips etc. he sat at the table bashing his cutlery and shouting about the injustice of it all. Dd and me calmly ate and chatted. She did blow him a raspberry but I was very calm. I said " if you can't calm down and sit and eat quietly, you will have to eat alone in the kitchen( we were in the dining room) He shouted some more about how horrible I was as a mum not cooking the right sort of chip and how i ruined hs day. So I picked up his plate, and put it in the kitchen with a quiet" you can sit in here, because you can't talk to me like that. It's very rude" . More shouting then calm. He asked to come back, sniffed and moaned for a minute, but after a stare from me asked dd about her day and was so normal it felt like nothing had happened.
The only thing was he rewrote a bit saying I had shouted. I normally would have escalated really fast but I didn't! No idea how I didn't though. I didn't shout either.
I gave him loads of cuddles as well, and love. I think he is exhausted. I certainly am. It's one for our memories book anyway. It's not all feeding the ducks you know
OP I could have written your post . Dd1 is 5.6, also in year 1 and dd2 is coming up to three. With us dd1's behaviour seems to have got worse in the past few months and I think it's her age, more demands being made in year 1, and the fact her sister is getting much more assertive and will not be bossed around any longer . I am hoping for a miracle over the Christmas holidays...
DS2 is 6 and I'm still trying to convince him that his bottom and the chair are best friends. Honestly. It's like they are the same magnetic pole and cannot possibly adhere to each other.
He has said before, though, that he doesn't know where to start when faced with a "big" task (like tidying up and changing - I have a very articulate 6yo ) and things tend to only get done if it's broken down into smaller tasks (by mutual consent). Sometimes he and DS1 make a plan and then it goes like clockwork. Yes, miracles do sometimes happen.