Surely all 5yo's are like this? (silly GP comment - I hope!)

(29 Posts)
GoldFrankincenseAndTwiglets Mon 10-Dec-12 15:58:40

My DS is very active, quite hyped up a lot of the time, running around and generally acting crazy. We saw our GP this morning (about something completely unrelated) and DS was pulling faces at his sister, mucking about with the curtain etc. The GP said "and he's 5?" I said yes and the GP seemed very surprised and asked "why is he acting like a 2yo?!" I was a bit taken aback and he continued "usually by the time they go to school they calm down a bit - but he hasn't". I asked if he thought I should be concerned and he didn't really answer me.

Surely loads of 5yo boys are like this, aren't they?! I thought it was perfectly normal and it unnerved me somewhat to hear a comment like that. He's not crazy all the time, he does really well at school and is able to sit down and concentrate when his teacher asks.

lljkk Mon 10-Dec-12 16:03:38

Just ignore GP. They aren't experts on behaviour & all aspects of development.

OvOinAManger Mon 10-Dec-12 16:06:45

Sounds like my 5 year old. Or my 8 year old in fact. GP is clueless.

Floralnomad Mon 10-Dec-12 16:10:48

I'm not saying its not normal behaviour but perhaps the GP thinks that by 5 you should be able to realise that there is a time for messing about and a time for behaving yourself . Probably says more about you than your son and that's not a criticism of your parenting just an observation that everyone is different and parents differently.

neolara Mon 10-Dec-12 16:14:10

My friend, who is a GP, said that before she had kids she was completely clueless about stuff like this. I wouldn't assume you gp is an expert on child development.

thursdaynight Mon 10-Dec-12 16:17:04

Sounds very normal to me & how rude of the gp. Ignore!

unexpectediteminbaggingarea Mon 10-Dec-12 16:19:37

that sounds fine. my ds is very nearly 5 and is often totally bananas. It's why we love him. Other times he sits so beautifully that a GP once asked me if I am a teacher because he was so well behaved. It's hit and miss. I think it's sweet that he wanted to make his sister laugh. Your GP sounds like a grumpy old bastard.

ThursdayWillBeTheDay Mon 10-Dec-12 16:20:17

No, not all 5 yr olds are like that. Some are. Yours is.

I agree with FloraInomad. By your own admission your son is "hyper" and running round and acting crazy a lot of the time. Maybe it's time he was told that a GP's surgery isn't the place to be doing it.

And rather than immediately slagging off the Gp's lack of knowledge, I'd venture it's a leedle bit more than those of us with no medical training.....

madwomanintheattic Mon 10-Dec-12 16:21:08

If you had asked him to sit down/ given him a book/ toy/ snack and he ignored you and continued to act like a loon, then the gp may have been slightly concerned that he was unable to listen and follow instructions/ behave appropriately for the context etc, and may have had some developmental questions buzzing in his head.

Had you asked him to stop messing about in the gp's consulting room?

My ds (who does have ADHD) sits still-ish at the docs. grin

I guess it depends on your own instructions to him though - ie if you felt that his behaviour was entirely appropriate, and you see nothing wrong with it in a clinical consultation, then ds wouldn't either (and you wouldn't have explained to him how we behave in doctor's surgeries etc) so it isn't really a red flag. If you had explained to ds that we sit nicely, and wait our turn, and you have to be quiet and let mummy talk to the doctor about x, y and z, and you mustn't mess about, and he was unable to comply with those instructions for five minutes, then I would say that was more of a concern.

Generally speaking though, if five yos have the situation explained, they can sit still with a book or play on the floor with a car quietly whilst a consultation takes place with a parent or younger siblings. and I assume he could, as he manages it at school.

So I guess he didn't know what the expectations were in that environment. No biggie.

madwomanintheattic Mon 10-Dec-12 16:23:14

(But, yes, maybe it is time that you told him? He understands that school requires a certain level of behaviour, why not another professional setting?)

imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas Mon 10-Dec-12 16:26:05

My four year old is the same and I dispair of her behaviour at times but have no idea where to get help from!

She will run round and round the doctors waiting room and I cannot get her to sit down without physically holding on to her at which makes her upset, at which point everybody thinks I'm hurting her!

She has me in tears sometimes with her silly behaviour but all the "experts" say is that she is intelligent and high spirited.....

SamSmalaidh Mon 10-Dec-12 16:27:20

I also think if you'd told him to behave and he continued messing, the GP was wondering if he was unable to listen or follow instructions. If you hadn't, then maybe it was more a comment about parenting?

OvOinAManger Mon 10-Dec-12 16:29:17

The Op didn't say her DS was hyper or running about like crazy at the doctors. Probably saves that for home. wink

All he did at the doctors was faff with a curtain and pull some faces at his sibling. How is that out of the ordinary behaviour for a 5 year old? If he was swinging from the curtains like Tarzan, shrieking and ignoring his mother then yes, there's a problem.

GoldFrankincenseAndTwiglets Mon 10-Dec-12 16:30:24

Of course I told him to stop mucking about but he does take several times and increasingly 'angry mummy' voice before he takes me seriously. The GP did say that children often behave like that when they are shy and this did seem to ring a few bells.

madwomanintheattic Mon 10-Dec-12 16:36:34

Then it's fine. And you were content. So the thread was for....? Checking up that the doc was right about ds's behaviour and development?

Apols, you had missed the bit about the gp discussing typical 5yo behaviour with you - the op said he didn't really answer you. Obviously the subsequent discussion about being shy etc explained it adequately.

Yes, ds is perfectly normal.

No one is having a go. There are plenty of folk who do let their kids rampage around the clinic. And if the kid hasn't been told it's inappropriate, how are they supposed to know?

Yes, 5yos can be crazy.

Yes, sometimes they need telling twice.

DoIgetastickerforthat Mon 10-Dec-12 16:45:33

My 5yr old generally is very well behaved but randomly 'gets one on him' and behaves like a total nutcase. Whilst I'm strict about appropriate behavior in public places, he is always decidedly less responsive when he's in that kind of mood - normal I would hope say.

GoldFrankincenseAndTwiglets Mon 10-Dec-12 16:47:04

Then it's fine. And you were content. So the thread was for....?

I was merely asking if other people also feel that this was normal behaviour and felt that the GP's reaction was strange. The conversation about shyness didn't explain it at all - he mentioned this to me but he went on to say that he still thought that DS was unusual. Sorry if you felt my thread was a waste of your time hmm

Ineedpigsinblankets Mon 10-Dec-12 16:49:13

imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas

I would recommend that you visit your nearest children's centre and ask about a tripple P parenting course.

It is supposed to be a really good coursesmile

Sorry for the hijack Gold, oh and for what its worth my GP lacks understanding and always wears his judgy pants toohmm

Ineedpigsinblankets Mon 10-Dec-12 16:50:02

Sorry that would be *Triple P*blush

winnybella Mon 10-Dec-12 16:51:48

Tbh it's hard to tell from your posts- does he have ADHD? Is he just a very lively boy? Your parenting is not quite strict enough?

I would expect a 5yo to be able to sit down calmly for few minutes at the doctors. I know my DS could at that age and he was rather a challenging/hyperactive child. 3yo DD can as well, no problem.

I am a GP. IME you can tell exactly nothing about a child's normal behaviour in the 10 minutes in the consulting room, particularly when they are not the patient/have waited any length of time/are tired and/or ill/it's Tuesday/Full Moon or any other number of variables.

Your DS sounds to me quite normal - whatever that is. Re more like a 2 year old - my 2 year old still shows strong psychopathic traits - I can only hope he outgrows them before he starts school.

I have 4 insane boys - the eldest is 9, academically v bright and usually lovely, but still has his overactive, mad 5 minutes. Several times a day.
All of mine are not what you would call 'biddable' hmm - I blame their father's genes btw because my parenting is of course faultless wink...

firawla Mon 10-Dec-12 16:57:42

I actually dont think that's very normal for 5 years, running round pulling the curtains etc shock so I kind of get why the gp would be suprised. whether its a medical thing or disapline issue etc I wouldn't have a clue, but don't think most dc do this?? unless it was a one off, but then you would know its a one off and not that normal for your dc.

mercibucket Mon 10-Dec-12 17:00:37

A 5 year old should be able to sit still for 5 minutes during a GP consultation, so I imagine the GP was sounding you out to see if he is also like that at school or if it's just with you. Or it could have been a way of drawing your attention to his behaviour in the hopes you'd get him to stop it. Or maybe the GP was just a bit grumpy this morning.

madwomanintheattic Mon 10-Dec-12 17:13:04

<shrugs>

No skin off my nose. I had a look as it assumed you were concerned/ the doc was concerned about ADHD, and I've been there and got the t shirt. But then after heading off down the ADHD route, you drip fed shyness after apparently not having discussed his behaviour with the doc.

Mn is for wasting time, isn't it? I was just trying to clarify whether or not you were concerned that your child had ADHD. Apparently you aren't concerned. That's all good. Bit it seemed like you were, in the op. Obviously that was a complete misreading on my part, for which I will be orf and castigate myself thoroughly.

<or I might just put the kettle on and wander back to sn>

CatchingMockingbirds Mon 10-Dec-12 17:21:04

Maybe the GP was hinting that he was getting frustrated with your sons behaviour too which is why he brought it up. Tbh I'd be mortified if my DS wouldn't sit down quetly for 5 minutes while I spoke to the GP and instead was hyper, ran around, and pulling curtains, especially if I had to tell him repeatedly and he ignored me.

But everyone's different and your parenting style is obviously very relaxed. I'm sure the school would bring it up to you if there were any major behavioural issues.

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