This is definitely my experience too. DS (6) is, and always has been, very compliant - not to say he always does as he's told but it's usually because he hasn't understood, was not paying attention etc. He also hates being 'shouted' at (I very rarely raise my voice but I do get very stern) so does as he's told before getting to this stage usually.
DD (3) on the other hand has been completely different from the start. She has been much more willful and independent. She really seems to know what she wants and is prepared to put up a fight to get it. Even as a baby she REFUSED a bottle despite trying every tactic we could think of and was EBF until we weaned her. Whereas DS would still let me choose what he wears now and let me dress him, DD is really independent. If I do ask her to do something she doesn't want to do she will and frequently does challenge me.
I know it seems logical to have a 'party line' but we were advised to 'discipline' them in different ways as they were both so different personality wise. They do both have a baseline of what's acceptable and what's not, but whereas techniques like the naughty step totally mortified DS, DD could handle them (emotionally) much better. That being said we haven't needed to use these sort of techniques but we definitely have different approaches for both of them. Not sure that was much help but you're definitely not alone!
So I have a DS who is 3. Pretty good kid but not perfect. He's not dangerous, he's a pain every now and then, but I think we came to an agreement quite quickly.
Anyway DS 2 is one and just starting to understand the world around him, so time for a bit of right/wrong. He tried to climb on stuff which is dangerous ( I am pretty chilled but if might end up in A&E I draw the line) and with DS1 I would shout, he would be shocked, and would stop. DS2 laughs.
I thought I'd nailed the discipline thing, but I am going to have to learn a completely different method with my cheeky, destructive and strong minded number 2.