One month old will not sleep - day or night!

[VienneseStrudel]

Our new(ish) arrival, Rebecca (just over one month old), seems to refuse sleep completely. She gets very tired in the morning, early afternoon and then again at early evening and at night, but refuses sleep at every turn.

I have tried putting her down when asleep - she wakes up the minute she's in her moses basket or pram top. Not only does she wake up - she screams pretty much straight away.

I've tried putting her down awake to try to get her to "understand" that she can go to sleep safely with me or OH there with her (in view). We've tried this rocking her and not rocking her.

We've tried swaddling her - she goes spare when she's restrained like this, but it's the only thing that keeps her arms from flailing wildly, which is something that wakes her up (when she finally does sleep). The last two nights this has been the only thing that has got her to sleep - and I honestly don't know whether it's because she has cried herself out, hasn't slept in the afternoon or if it's because she's swaddled (which she doesn't seem to like in spite of herself!).

We've been trying infacol in case it's colic, but it doesn't seem to have any effect. She is clean, changed, fed, winded and cuddled so I am at my wits' end to stop her crying.

Would be great to know if anyone else has had this sort of problem, and if you did how (or if!) you managed to solve it. I just want her to feel safe to go to sleep when she's tired and make sure that she gets the rest she desperately needs - any help/tips would be very gratefully received!

[Traceymac2]

Silent reflux perhaps? All three of mine had it and it does bother babies a great deal when they lie flat.

[Lambster76]

My DS was the same & he had reflux, we elevated the mattress so he wasn't lying flat which helped. During the day he would sleep in his bouncer seat or I would pop him in a sling which really helped. I could infacol was useless but gripe water really helped.

[dwagdays]

Stretchy wrap sling? they snooze whilst you cuddle hands free. She is too little to get the idea of being safe to sleep with you watching etc a sling helps transition babies and the sleep stuff gets easier as they get a bit older and more predictable.

[Traceymac2]

We used gaviscon initially with my dd's and then had to use Zantac and a thickened formula. Dd3 is now 7 months and still needs them, I tried to cut the Zantac dose and she began crying continually again until it was reinstated. Definately worth considering as a possible cause.

[FannyBazaar]

Maybe she just wants to sleep on you, which would be a fair thing to expect because she is only a month old and not used to being on her own. When you say in her view, remember she can only focus about a foot in front of her.

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

DD2 is only 5 weeks and has mild silent reflux. When she is bad I let her fall asleep on my chest and then put her down on her tummy. Maybe your DD would prefer that in the day.

At night I always make sure she sleeps on her back though. I do suspect she just needs to be close to you. You cant spoil her!

Its not uncommon for me to be sitting on the sofa from 5pm to 11pm with her. (My back has been sore since the birth so cant use a sling.)

[orchidee]

Read up on sleep here www.parentingscience.com/baby-sleep-tips.html

Also you may find info on Hugh needs babies useful.

[orchidee]

That should be high needs babies

[diyqueen]

Dd was like that and it was exhausting. We ended up co sleeping at night for several months and I spent a lot of time sitting on the sofa with her asleep on me, or walking round with her in a sling. Don't worry about setting up bad habits though - dd will nap in the day if tired now (20mo), and at bedtime brings me her pyjamas and goes to sleep happily in her cot by herself - this just kind of happened, no sleep training or anything. Do whatever it takes to get you all some rest for the moment, do try a sling or enjoy the excuse to sit on the sofa with a good book or tv programme.

[bellarose2011]

My dd slept on my chest for at least the first 3 months. The second i lay her down asleep or awake she would scream until i picked her back up. She then slept in my bed for another yr. there was nothing wrong with her she just needed to be held at all times!
In the end i could hoover, cook dinner and have a shower whiles holding her as it was the only way to get anything done.
Just go with it, it will not affect her when she's older and she will grow out of it. In fact my dd is now really independent and loved moving into her big girl bed.
I know nothing about reflux but its worth ruling everything out.

[Bumpsadaisie]

Does she sleep if you are holding her?

[VienneseStrudel]

Thanks everyone. She doesn't sleep if i'm holding her, she just screams. I think the problem is that she gets to the point where she's overtired and then can't settle without basically crying herself out no matter what i do. Have ordered a sling so will see what happens with that.

Thanks all, it's comforting to know others have been in the same position and got through it; i know it sounds melodramatic but I really had no idea what to do. Been a long time since I felt like that!

[emz0909]

Try white noise to settle them you can get apps on phone or try the Hoover worked a treat for us. My boy had reflux though so cried due to that x

[capecath]

Could you try a nice long walk in pushchair with it covered up? not a long term solution but could break the overtired cycle. Ours wouldn't settle in pushchair unless moving. Aim for 60 mins awake tome before putting down for nap at this age. Cuddle and feed in the dark before naps. Make sure properly winded - I find DS2 (now 17 weeks) cries when put down when he still has wind. Try a dummy? Prob a little early to worry about putting down while awake - don't be afraid to feed or rock to sleep at this stage. I'd suggest continuing with the swaddling for now (even if they fight it, often does help to calm them down if you cuddle them while swaddled), or try a Grobag - we moved to a Grobag around 10 weeks or so for DS2, prob a little later for DS1. It is such a learning curve and a whole lot of trial and error!! Hang in there... It will all change before you know it :)

[capecath]

Is she getting enough to eat and gaining weight ok?

[capecath]

Feed to sleep stages for us (although only works for us at night) - falls asleep on breast, move to shoulder for winding, wait, lie down with hand underneath on back, slowly remove hand. If he has only been awake no more than 90 mins, he'll usually lie down happily awake if had a good feed and been properly winded, in which case he'll go to sleep on own, sometimes with mobile on (but he is 3 months older than yours).