No pointing! Worried mum seeking advice

(64 Posts)
Welovecouscous Fri 07-Dec-12 21:50:29

My DS - almost 17 months does not point yet.

He does have quite a few words:

Can make noises for at least 13 different animals if he sees them in the picture book. Eg if there is a picture of a bee and I say to him what sound does it make he says buzz, or if he sees a dog he says wood woof.

So I think talking is ok BUT no pointing!

He is very affectionate and friendly with family and friends, but still quite shy in big groups. He was a high need baby and still cries more than most others the same age in groups.

Should I be concerned?

upstart68 Fri 07-Dec-12 21:57:34

Don't worry about it. Mine wouldn't point or wave - I think she was just being awkward. She's doing very well now (6 years later).

upstart68 Fri 07-Dec-12 22:00:24

I think talking is a good sign and sounds like he's doing well with that.

LynetteScavo Fri 07-Dec-12 22:14:13

DS1 pointed lots and and had a very decent vocab and good eye contact.

I had no idea that by the time he reached school age I should have concerns. grin

Your DS sounds like he is doing very well.

What would he do if he saw some out of reach biscuits and wanted one?

Welovecouscous Fri 07-Dec-12 22:16:15

Thanks so much upstart - a weird off hand comment was made by his ex nanny about his development which has made me feel worried sad

Welovecouscous Fri 07-Dec-12 22:17:52

X post lynette. Sorry to hear you needed to have concerns.

He says a particular little sound like 'uh uh uh' to indicate he wants one and goes as close as he can get - trying to reach up to the worktop.

EverybodysSnowyEyed Fri 07-Dec-12 22:18:58

My DD pointed from a very young age - we found it hilarious. Mainly because DS never pointed and it was such a novelty! He started to from about the age of 3 but before then he always used his words.

i did used to test him - so put something tempting just out of reach but he would find words to make himself understood

and thinking about it, he is a very awkward character too!!

Welovecouscous Fri 07-Dec-12 22:19:56

DS does wave - he cries when people leave and waves very sadly - same when he is saying goodbye to his toothbrush!

Welovecouscous Fri 07-Dec-12 22:20:17

DS is very strong willed

Welovecouscous Fri 07-Dec-12 22:20:53

Posted too soon - that was a reply to you everybodys - this is making me feel a lot better, thank you all!

LynetteScavo Fri 07-Dec-12 22:29:27

Oh, bless him, he sounds adorable!

I don't think you should have any concerns. smile

EverybodysSnowyEyed Fri 07-Dec-12 22:31:38

there were loads of things DS didn't do which would get people sucking their teeth! He has always been awkward though - very much of the 'why are you asking me to count 10, can't you do it yourself' sort!

Welovecouscous Fri 07-Dec-12 22:41:05

Thank you lynette and everybodys.

I am feeling a bit less panicky now!

kaz1119 Fri 07-Dec-12 23:54:28

If he is not pointing and not talking a lot (i noticed half of his words are body parts), how is he comnunicating with you (e.g telling you he wants a toy or a drink)?

Does he appear to understand what you say?

I have a child with autism and with hindsight, the not communucating/not pointing by 17/18 months was a big red flag.

If you worry about asd, then it is worth googling for the Mchat.

Welovecouscous Sat 08-Dec-12 07:54:38

Kaz, if he wants a drink he makes a little drinking noise, like a slurpy noise.

All his toys are out, but he has hide and squeak eggs in a box and if he wants me to open the box he comes and gives it to me.

He does say other words eg chick.

kaz1119 Sat 08-Dec-12 08:06:07

Have you tried to put favorite toys out of reach so he has to communicate somehow to get them? Do youthink he understands? Can he follow simple instructions (e.g. "get you teddy") What about choices ("apple or banana?") - can he make those?

Have you looked at the MChat? You seem
to be worried - i would go with my gut feeling and maybe have s chat with the HV or GP

Welovecouscous Sat 08-Dec-12 08:12:00

He can also say:


And if I say to him "why don't you go and ride on your trike?" he will go and get on it

If I say "can you turn the music on" he will press the music button on his swing

He has a little game on the iPhone he likes and it has jumping monkeys. If he wants to play that he says 'oo oo oo' like the monkeys in the game.

He has a little toy dog and likes to cuddle him


No pointing and no imaginative play.

kaz1119 Sat 08-Dec-12 08:15:56

I think by 17 months they would be usually expected to point?

Do the mchat, see it it flags up anything and have a word with the HV. Might be nothing but hopefully it will put your mind
to rest.

DeWe Sat 08-Dec-12 08:17:31

I think its the communicating things non-verbaly with others that is what the pointing is about.*

Does he want to share things with you? So if you've opened his box of eggs, does he press them and look at you to see if you're enjoying it too? Or does he bring things over to show you, not when he wants you to help him?

* disclaimer: I don't know a lot here, so I may be barking up the wrong tree here.

Welovecouscous Sat 08-Dec-12 08:17:52

If I put three books in front of him and say would you like to read the gruffalo, the farm book or Maisie, he will choose one.

I am going to try putting a toy out of reach to see what happens. I am also going to model pointing a lot.

I wasn't worried at all Kaz because he had met a lot of his milestones early if anything eg can build an 8 block tower, spoke quite a few of his words at 11 months. But we had a nanny who left because she "failed to bond" with him and she has told me she has concerns. She is very experienced and an ex primary school teacher. She didn't approve much of my approach though - co sleeping/still bf/carrying him still.

Goldmandra Sat 08-Dec-12 08:18:27

When you are around other children of his age do you feel that he is different from them? Your own instincts are usually a very good indicator of whether something is wrong.

I don't remember whether my girls pointed at this age because they were diagnosed much later on. I do know, though, that they didn't look when I pointed and often still don't.

There are lots of things that child do or don't do which could point to Autism and, in isolation, most children do one or two of them. What matters is the bigger picture. If you feel that in general he is developing well, similarly to his peers, you shouldn't worry.

If you have your own little niggles and this comment has added to them you should take a look at M-CHAT.

If you feel at any point that your DS should be assessed you will probably have to push to make it happen. Don't be fobbed off with waiting and seeing. Early intervention is key to good outcomes.

Welovecouscous Sat 08-Dec-12 08:26:57

He often comes and gives things to me just for sharing, it seems, or will initiate a chasing game.

Apart from pointing and pretending he is doing everything in the Mchat - just checked it.

He is 17 months tomorrow.

Welovecouscous Sat 08-Dec-12 08:29:17

Gold, yes he is different - definitely more sensitive and noise averse. But both DS and I are very sensitive. He was a high need baby but he is so affectionate and cuddly that it is hard to believe he is on the spectrum. My godson has moderate autism and was very different to my DS at this age.

If he says mouth he will touch his mouth to show me what he means. Does that count as pointing?

Welovecouscous Sat 08-Dec-12 08:29:36

DH and I blush

Welovecouscous Sat 08-Dec-12 08:31:00

I agree early intervention is good - I am going to see if I can get him pointing over the next few days and if not may take him to a paed privately?

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