Please rescue me from the edge of reason - 5yo being 5

(5 Posts)
UrbanSpaceMum Tue 27-Nov-12 21:35:46

I have just completely lost it with my lovely magic little girl. She has been a total nightmare for the last few weeks and something snapped. I keep promising her I won't yell at her again but this time I couldn't figure out what to do. She won't come home from school if we don't have an appointment. Any time I forget to fix an appointment, she runs away and hides. She will stay for over an hour, long after all the other children have gone, if I don't pick her up and haul her off. When I do that, like today, she flings herself to the ground and screams that I am hurting her. For some reason today she took my front door keys and wouldn't let us into the house. In the morning, similar problem, she won't get out of bed for an hour or so, then takes 40 minutes to dress. I have taken her to school with no breakfast, late. Not waking her until five minutes to the late bell doesn't work, it takes her about two hours to get ready. The school teacher won't tell her off for being late, so my daughter doesn't believe that it really is very very naughty.

I can't find anyone to talk to right now and dreading tomorrow morning. Someone get me back to sanity.

Insafehands Tue 27-Nov-12 22:10:39

Hi there. I provide a Support Service to families and may be I could help?
First of all don't beat yourself up over this, you are obviously concerned and trying to find out how to manage this and it is totally understandable why you have got so upset with her today.
If you would like to contact me privately to discuss this in more detail please do so. I have only just signed up to this site so not sure how to contact you directly.
My website is www.in-safe-hands.co.uk and my contact details are on there.
I don't know where you live but I do offer Home visits and 1-1 support. The other option is if I can collect more information from you I would be able to make some suggestions as to how to move forward with dealing with this.
The situation will improve. I worked as a Nanny a few years back for a child the same age as your daughter who did exactly the same. Even as a professional the situation was emotionally and physically draining so I do understand you must feel exhausted. Please do get in touch and I will do all I can to help.

Insafehands, just a gentle suggestion that you might like to read the talk guidelines in the purple header at the top of the page as advertising and promoting your own service is not really permitted on the forums. There are details on there about how to advertise your service.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 27-Nov-12 22:42:22

Hello just read this, how perplexing. Firstly I'm not a professional just a parent. Secondly, disturbing as this change has been and you clearly are upset by it, you are the parent, stay as calm as you can be. If your daughter is acting out of character you need to be a rock for her, strong, capable.

I don't have any solutions but you might want to consider the following, forgive me if this is going to sound like 20 questions.

Has she enjoyed going to school until recently?
Is she engaged at school or bored?
Did this start after October half term?
Have you asked her teacher if her behaviour in class has deteriorated?

It could be a crisis of confidence, trying to exert her will. Does she have playmates, is she included at school breaktime?

If it's not linked to school or social issues I would look closer to home.

Is she eating and drinking normally? Does she have access at bedtime to a computer or television, I wonder how well she is sleeping.

If there has been no crisis at home, something that's unsettled her, I'd be getting her medically checked just for peace of mind. Easy to suggest it's just a phase, it sounds like something has set off this behaviour.

UrbanSpaceMum Wed 28-Nov-12 08:51:32

Thanks for the replies. This morning I let her sleep until she woke at 8.20. She is happily sitting eating breakfast and will be in school late.

She is acting out purely through tiredness. We have had major problems in the past with her sleep, and that is all it is. Somehow the clock change sends her bodyclock berserk, like the worst jetlag, and she just does not sleep until around 11pm.

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