8yr old DD lying - how do I stop this?

(3 Posts)

DD is eldest child and eldest grandaughter on both sides.

She has a reputation in the family and at school as a "good girl" and is doing well at school.

Since the summer there have been a couple of occasions where I was fairly sure she had done something wrong but couldn't prove it - and DD swore to her innocence. I didn't feel I could punish her without evidence.

However, today I found her out in a fairly big lie. I stayed calmish and we had a big chat about telling the truth, trust, how lying was wrong etc...Told her that in the future she would want freedom to do things and that she wouldn't have it if I couldn't trust her. Also told her that if she lied again there would be consequences

Fifteen bleedin' minutes later I open up her reading record. She started "Charlotte's Web" today and had written in the record that she had read the first 13 pages in registration time at school. I asked her what had happened in the story (we are suppose to check comprehension before we hear them read). She told me it was a story "about a little girl called Fern whose father had tried to sell a pig....." I pointed out the big picture of Mr Arable holding an axe and she changed her story to kill a pig. I asked why he wanted to kill a pig and she said "because the pig was old and fat". After much tooing and froing she admited she hadn't read a page and I lost the plot. Both DH and I spoke to her and no TV for three days.

Some of the stuff she proabably lied about over the summer almost got friend's children into trouble (my friends were of the opinion that DD is so "good" that it must be their kids at fault) until I stepped in and said we couldn't be sure.

I have no clue how to get through to her- she just sat and nodded but I have the feeling this has been going on for a while. Any help please?

Bumping for evening crowd

bluecarrot Tue 27-Nov-12 20:17:16

No tv for three days seems extreme, though my DD is a (minor) fibber and it cracks me up. However, in my experience as a CM, its seems extremely common, and often about stuff that doesnt even matter, or that they can be easily found out.

I tell them I know its a lie, brief peter and the wolf reminder then leave them to it and hope they feel guilty. I have cler memories of eating a choc bar before dinner and denying it, my dad giving me "the look"...i still feel guilty now.

One mindee told me dd she was going on holiday at Halloween "to a really posh place with 10 pools" hmm I thought the pools bit was an exaggertion but completely oblivious to fact the holiday was a lie, I said to mum in front of child "I hear you are heading back to Spain at Halloween!" <cue confused look on mum and sheepish look on child> Same dropped into conversation that she had come second place in the local council sunflower comp. I live across the road from her and know she didnt grow any. Plus I was involved with the prizegiving. grin

As standard with every lie she tells now, I gave her the "yeah right - I know you are lying" look and said her name in a sceptical/questioning sort of tone...then she burst into tears. (Shes 10) Wish that look worked on dd.

Another (aged 9) told my dd at an evening club that her mum had texted me a few times about her coming over to play before the club "but our mum didnt reply, so my BEST friend came over instead" hmm I texted the mum to apologize but I hadnt got the texts she sent....she wrote back she didnt send any....

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