My DS is 1 and an absolute joy in lots of ways, very sociable, not clingy blah blah blah But he has always been really strong willed. And now that is manifesting itself in extraordinary tantrums. When he doesn't get his way or something won't work for him he throws giant tantrums stamping feet, screaming and raging, banging on the floor etc. I've tried to ignore them but I want to know what everyone thinks I should do. So if for example he is trying to pull something along and it gets stuck and he screams his head off about it, should I respond to the screams and unstick whatever it is etc? Or should I just ignore it? He can keep up these tantrums for as long as I've ever let him (ignored him once for a full fifteen minutes and it didn't stop)
I could sort of laugh at how ridiculous it was at first but now it is getting more frequent and is really relentless and awful and am in a bit of despair. Does anyone have any advice?
My 20month dd is the same. Sometimes I think "what did i do wrong?" but i try to remember its not personal. I ignore or distract (look at the dog/cat/tree/look in the mirror/out the window). But sometimes I think they have to work it out themselves. Its sooo hard though, I get so frustrated I could cry too at times!
I also say "use your words" to her to try and get her to understand that (the few) words she has are the best way to communicate. Though when she refuses to wear a bib then hits the roof because some of her dinner gets on her tshirt and its "dirty" I sometimes loose the the will to live.
Ignore. If behaviour is unsafe, remove from hazard with as little fuss as possible. Remember to stay calm and not 'cross'. I know that sounds silly but its so easy to react to a tantruming child as if they are doing it on purpose. They are in a way but not on the same level as an adult (does that make any sense?)
Its not about winning or losing for either of you. Keep that in mind and it can make it a bit easier to bear
I agree with the 'use your words'/encouraging sign/naming feelings.
Your DS is still very young but its never too soon to do some stuff around 'happy' 'sad' 'cross' 'tired' etc. You can use story time to point at faces and 'look he is very cross' etc
As soon as DS begins to calm down use positive interaction. Not over the top. Calm and simple. A couple of words.
Then a cuddle to show the world is ok and mummy still loves him
If you can though, distract before you get to the tantrum bit. You will know the signs by now I bet
Sorry that is all a bit disjointed but I am knackered!