2.5 year old started playschool but she hates it.

[welshhouse]

My DD started playschool this week and has cried every day, as i'm sure a lot of children do, but she just sat with a member of staff the whole time and she wouldn't join in with anything. I spoke to a member of staff just as we were leaving and i'm now worried that there is something wrong with her. Her speech isn't brilliant but she has a lot of individual words, she just doesn't put them into sentences. They asked if she responds to her name, which she doesn't very often but she can definitely hear. At home she can understand most of what we say and does say things like "more raisins please". She likes drawing and colouring and she can count to ten.
Do you think i should give her more time to settle in or should i be concerned?
Any advice welcome, i have got myself so worried. Thanks

[Lia87]

I work at a nursery and she sounds perfectly normal, they will all develop at different speeds, some will be talking reasonably well before 2 and others might not start until nearly 3, it doesn't mean anythings wrong, often ones who take longer will suddenly pick up using full sentences etc rather than it being a gradual process from what i've seen. As long as she does respond at times to her name then the understanding is there, though at the end of the day you know your child and if you are worried theres no harm in getting her checked by a speech and language expert for you're peace of mind, the nursery should be able to put you in contact with someone if you feel its necessary

also the settling in sounds perfectly normal, did they do a gradual settling with you staying the first time/few times and gradually increasing the length of sessions? If not it might be worth a try as lots of children find it a bit much going from nothing to hours away from mum
sitting with the adult is perfectly ok as well, it usually takes a bit longer for children at nursery to play with children than to be comforted by an adult if they're shy and not used to the setting
its good that she feels comfortable with this one person, hopefully that will help her feel at home. The should have a key person system where each child has an assigned adult to greet the child each morning and to do the childs general care/give the parent a handover each day, to help keep things consistant, so maybe you could request that person to be her key worker?

[welshhouse]

Thank you so much for replying, your advice is much appreciated. She is fine with all the staff and outside of playschool she is fine with other children but she would not participate with anything other than drawing. I felt that when the staff were asking me questions about her that they were implying that there was something wrong with her but maybe i'm being too over sensitive. They have got me worried about autistic traits such speech being a little delayed and she does sometimes put her crayons in a line but she isn't obsessive about it.

[ZuleikaD]

Why is she going to nursery - is it essential because you're working? If not then I wouldn't put her through it.

[welshhouse]

It's not a nursery it's a playgroup. It's only for 2 hours, 3 days a week. I just thought it would be good for her.

[IWillOnlyEatBeans]

My DS started going to playschool in September when he was 2.7yrs (two hrs, twice a week). He still prefers to sit with the teachers and avoids lots of contact with the other children, although is he slowly, slowly starting to join in a bit more. He has stopped crying when I drop him off (although still looks anxious).

I don't have any concerns about his development. He is just used to being at home with me (he's my PFB and I am a SAHM) and so negotiating a new situation on his own, alongside 10 other toddlers, is proving to be a bit of a challenge for him. He'll get there and I'm sure your DD will too.

If it's any comfort, he has come on leaps and bounds confidence-wise since he started going. He will now initiate interaction with other children in the park etc and has even started to play by himself at home (both were unheard of before). I also wanted him to get used to being away from home/me before starting pre-school when he's 3.

If you didn't have any worries about her development before starting the playschool then I don't think her reaction should necessarily trigger concern.

[CecilyP]

I doubt if there is anything wrong with your DD. Traditionally these kind of settings did not take children until they had passed their 3rd birthday. Your DD just sounds a bit young and I would be inclined to leave it until maybe next spring.

[ZuleikaD]

I'd say that she isn't ready to be left and it's worth trying again at a later date.

[Ineedalife]

They preschool setting I work in takes children from 2.

Many children find the first few weeks hard and we often recommend shortened sessions during the settling period.

Your Dd has to learn that you are going to come back before she will feel safe enough to go off and play, believe me it is very common.

Some children are not phased by being left and others are, you can never tell which ones will take a while to settle.

I would keep taking for a while and see if she settles but maybe reduce the length of time you leave her for.

Good luck and I bet she will love it once she settles

[welshhouse]

Thank you so much for your replies, you are all so helpful. I will continue to take her for now as the staff have said don't give up too quickly. She is usually fine with other children, it must simply be because i'm not there. It is helpful to hear your various experiences.

[mammyof5]

my dd started school at three pt and it was really hard in the beginning. as already said some kids just take a little longer to adapt and she still is very small.

on reflection could it be the teacher was asking about her to see what her other interests were maybe to encourage her onto other activities. also they wont want her to be any more uncomfortable iygwim by asking her to do things she may struggle with.

my dd is 3 1/2 now and in full time school and still has days she doesnt answer to her name or talk to her teachers. they dont press her and she responds when she feels she can.