DD 7 sleep issues

[hillbilly]

DD (7) is finding it very difficult to fall asleep since about 2 weeks ago. It has been around th same time since she has started reading to herself when she goes to bed. She goes to bed at 7.30 then reads for 15 mins. Then she's up and down with various woes and finally falls asleep around 9pm. AFAIK, everything is ok at school. We are trying to be understanding but firm as don't want to make an issue out of it.

[amazingmumof6]

does she get over excited from the story or maybe a bit scared?

she should do all bedtimes business first, then bed - so no excuses after!


one trick to try is to say that if after 15 mins reading she settles down on day 1, she'll have an extra 5 or 10 mins on day 2

if she's good again on day 2, she can have 15 mins + 5-10 mins on day 3 again

if not, the next night no reading

[hillbilly]

Thanks - tbh I don't think extra reading time would be a "carrot on a stick" for her. She's very easy going generally and would be happy with 5 or 15 mins reading time. She is definitely scared - she keeps thinking (her words) of a robber coming in or a fire in our home. Her going to sleep in our bed (then I would put her back in her own bed later) used to solve this but not any more. It's now 9.15 and she's just gone back to bed after sitting up with me for 10 mins. Sometimes I feel like saying "get to bed and stop this nonsense", but she is clearly distressed. On the other hand I need some downtime and this is driving me mad!

[amazingmumof6]

I'd show her the fire alarm tomorrow (if you don't have one get one asap!) and the locks you use at night to keep you all safe.

do this in the day and have a casual chat - maybe she can express her fears better and will be more able to listen to you if you are not in the stressful situation of bedtime drama

I wonder what else she might be worried about - clearly she's worried about being safe - the robber/fire thing could be an excuse for other worries that are not so easy to express

what do you think?

[hillbilly]

She knows about fire alarm and because we live on the ground floor in central London we have grills on some of our windows. We have them because years ago (when DH lived here alone) the flat was broken into. She asked me yesterday why we have them and I said it was because it makes the place safer. I have gently talked to her about school and everything is fine there. Hopefully it's a phase and an over active mind? We'll keep on with the gentle approach I guess.

[PopMusicShoobyDoobyDoA]

What kinds of books is she reading, OP? Also, I would carry on reading with her, maybe you read a page and she reads a page kind of thing - maybe she misses that as if you think about it's what she has known all her life (am making an assumption that you read bedtime stories to her) and she is not coping with the change. A cuddle and a story with mummy.

[hillbilly]

She's reading the Amelia Jane books by Enid Blyton. We are still having stories together pre bedtime along with DS. Lots of cuddles too.

[hillbilly]

Just wanted to update this situation we are having with DD. It has not improved in fact it has got worse. We have reassured her about the safety aspect but she says she cannot get it out of her head. She has been going to sleep in our bed a lot and even that is now an issue. She has also had impetigo over the last 10 days and has been a little itchy at night but now that has gone, she has replaced itching with being scared, not enough light, too much light etc.

Last night we decided to be just ask her politely to return to bed every time she came out (prob more than 10 times), regardless of what she said was the problem. We listened to her and then said that she could read or play in her room or whatever she wanted, but to stay in her room. She was very upset and really crying a lot. She fell asleep exhausted at 10pm after DH got cross with her. We both are heartbroken to see her so upset but feel that she has got herself into a state about it and we should be understanding yet firm and CONSISTENT in our response.

Someone mentioned that there might be something else bothering her, but we have not yet found out what that might be as she is very happy in herself generally.

I have been making a point of waking her at a "normal" time, as if she sleeps in till later there will be no hope of her being naturally tired at "normal" bedtime, aside from the fact that she needs time in the mornings to do homework, reading etc

We are at our wits end and very upset for her too. Any suggestions would be gratefully received.

[hillbilly]

bump.... anyone?

[blanksquit]

I just mentioned it on another thread but there's a really good cd called enchanted meditations for kids. It's happy, calming stories with a relaxation element to it. I think it helps clear the mind of all that's churning round in there. Mine drops off pretty quickly with it usually.

[hillbilly]

Thanks blanksquit - I don't know why we did not think of it before since DH has recently started meditating daily.