Can you get PND later?

[ImpYCelyn]

I had PND with DS1, although the extent of it only became apparent later. But it started right from birth.

I was fine after DS2 was born, I was managing really well with both of them (18m gap) - was on top of housework, enjoying BFing, cooking lots of lovely dinners for me and DH. (Although I was always relieved when DH got home in the evening and I could unload them for a while).

But this past week I've totally crashed. I feel really, I don't know, emotionless. Just numb. Really tired, exhausted in fact, and like I'm trapped. I've been vile to DS1, really short-tempered with him, intolerant, shouting at him - I feel like a terrible mum. I was feeding DS2 today and DS1 was literally sobbing in the doorway because I wouldn't go to him, and I just stared at him - I couldn't even be bothered to talk to him. I felt nothing for him - like when he was a baby. (God, I hate myself for saying that). And now I'm worried that he's going to start developing these memories of me looking after DS2 and leaving him to himself. I don't want to be that mother. It's his birthday next week, and I feel like for most of his 2 years I haven't even loved him properly.

I haven't cooked an evening meal since Friday. DH asks what's for dinner and I tell him I don't know and can't he have a sandwich. I'm on top of the laundry, but the place needs hoovering and there's stuff piling up that needs sorting out. I haven't cleaned the bathroom for over a week.

I feel like it's all unravelling. For the first time I felt like I was a good mum and doing a good job with the house etc, but now it's all a wreck.

DS2 is 5.5 months. I feel like he's too old for it to be PND, and actually it's just a sign that I'm lazy and crap.

[EnsignRo]

Well for what it's worth I was diagnosed with PND when DD was almost 12 months, think I'd realistically been bad since she was about 10 months. But my lovely GP said it can definitely happen later, and I have to say that the help I got really turrned things around for me.

So I would definitely go and talk to someone - if only to have someone in RL point out that you are not lazy or crap. Sending you all my best!

[Maraki]

I got really bad PND when DD was 5 months. I was absolutely fine until then. Then I just stayed at home, felt lonely, helpless, resented everyone around me, and cried all the time and was parnoid about everything and convinced that I was the worst mother on the planet. Literally I didnt get out of bed for weeks. Please do find the strength and go to your GP, antidepressants saved me.

[ImpYCelyn]

Thank you so much for replying! I have just told my DH how I feel, which is huge, I normally just internalise everything.

He thinks it could just be a bad week, DS2 has been feeding like crazy at night and DH says even he feels crap because of it. He also thinks that maybe it seems worse than it is because I was on such a high.

So we're going to keep an eye on it, and if I still feel rubbish, or worse, in a week's time then I'm going to go and speak to someone. I really wasn't sure if you could just develop PND out of nowhere, so thank you. I don't want to end up like I was before, I'm so guilty about how I felt about DS1 when he was a baby, I couldn't bear that again. So I will definitely get help if I need it.

[Ameybee]

I had PND with my first, diagnosed at 6 weeks check but gp I saw was very against anti-depressants. I battled on & although I felt much better I never felt 100% right, plucked up courage to see a different gp almost a year later & she put me on anti-depressants after I explained everything n they helped so much. Came off them to get preg with second n had him 2 weeks ago, doing ok so far but paranoid about having it again second time around! Hope you feel better soon but if not def talk to gp x